emit_remmus

I can do it all, but I won't be overly good at it. It seems like a lot of people do everything better than me.

Is mean. Why do people talk about others behind their back? Women are the worst for this? Why do people not like dead silence? Why do people laugh at someone thats different? Why do people seem to seem manipulative like they're hiding something? I view this sort of behavior everyday. I don't think I act like this.

Field school is excavation. That is the job. Get up at 5 AM and dig until 6 PM, and then a lecture. There will be tours on the weekends. I'll be there for 5 weeks. Do I really need to get a job in Italy? I'm working weekends and school days right now, but I'm trying to put school and organization stuff priority first. For instance, I called in at work today to go caving. It was different, and I loved it.

I got a spot for an archaeological field school to Italy, but the problem is money; its going to cost $4000 dollars, and I don't know how to attain that much money except through scholarships. I've had bad experiences with scholarships during high school I guess because I didn't really do much extracurricular activites. On the otherhand, I look back on my college life and it amazes how much I've done and worked. I've been through 5 jobs and volunteered so many times in organizations and events. BUT this scholarship I'm pondering at right now is only worth $500 to $1000 dollars. Where am I going to get the other $3500 to $3000. It seems I'm limited on the amount of scholarships because I'm joining another schools archaeological project. I'm pretty much stressing over this right now because I only work for the money I need, but right now I need extra money. I hope archaeology won't always be like this because I heard this is what a field technician's life is like.

What the heck is adahy saying???

I'm in my second year of college right now, and I need financial aid to go overseas to Italy this summer. Its going to cost me $4000 dollars, including airplane tickets. I really need this.

What does this prose ask for? So I should say whether the student is male and mexican who lived in the ghetto. I don't understand what its asking for. Its for a scholarship. I don't even feel like working on this scholarship. When I was in high school I applied for 10 scholarships but I didn't get anything. But after a year and half of college, I've done a lot of volunteer work and now trying to go overseas for an archaeological field school. Its expensive, but I don't know if applying for a scholarship or two is worth writing all of these essays.

You will never know anything nor everything. Science becomes more of a description more than an explanation, but it is description which distinguishes us from earlier stages of knowledge and science. After all, the last organ that formed in Apes was our consciousness and big brains. It is entirely new when compared to our bipedality, and our consciousness can be ever unreliable at the sametime. Religion only herds people for the better of the state. Humans are naturally herds, through the family, through kinship, through community, through tribes, and ultimately the state. Religion enforces long term motivations to enforce a society's taboo for the better of the group. Magic, godlessness, the worship of false gods, irrational behaviour, eroticism have all been classed as evil by the group viewpoint at one time or another because all of these elevate the individual above the group, which is a threat to the majority.

Biologically speaking, life is a system of organisms that serve other organisms that make up the biosphere. Biologically speaking, life is possessable through parasitically, symbiotically, sexually, economically, and predatory and other consumption processes. thereforeeee, the life of mine is possessed by sexual and economic means. Thus, the freedom of life is nonexistent until our departure from the organisms that are our masters.

I'm not asking for some loving right now. My mother loves me, but even she wishes I wasn't short. She says that many times, along the lines of mentioning surgically breaking my legs in China to growth pills to just hoping I'll get taller by age 24. Sometimes, I even wish these things because I do not feel like I'm a part of society.

Maybe you should go move to Asia.

But then the question arises, what is life? And does anyone actually own a life?

I realize this motivation in the classroom, at work, or anywhere else. For instance, when I was a child, I got baptized because of a girl, and I'm still baptized and I hate that religion. That was a bad example and a bad choice. Anyway, I realize, that without the girl, I'm not really motivated to save the world or clean up people's left overs. The motivation can really be a good thing, and throughout culture this motivation has been the same for many heroes. I see myself as a hero sometimes too. What if there wasn't the girl? Well this makes things, not flow easy, and other miniscul motivations such as money or self-enlightenment and the will to learn provide the driving motivation.

Weed should've helped you do better in school.

I'm afraid the psychological burden of being other's amusement and criticism will carry on with us until death, and only then, can we be free from our constricting organisms that limit our appearances. We will be known by our height foremost, and I would like to change this if at all possible.

Let's be real here. I appear short, so I am short. Working, by being funny and staying in shape, to cover the appearance of my height is a chore. There are days where my thought flows such as in this manner "I am short, so I am sad, so I do not feel like being funny nor going to the gym."

I've thought about that too, but do I really want to put my money on someone that will just use the system to run off just to live in America a year after their arrival? Not really, so I might as well buy the gratification here locally in town, but then gratification is just a product. In a figurative sense, all of us are products that produce and all of us are products that can be consumed in one way or another. It all boils down to value and resource expenses. On the other hand, love is on another level. Some say its biological and others, metaphysical.

Does it really matter? I'm male.

"In conversation, whether we tend to agree or disagree with the other person is completely a question of habit: the one makes as much sense as the other." - Neitzsche Everyone and everything they say is stupid, and it doesn't really matter what you say because its all conversation. Just start now and talk. It will be worse when you won't even talk to people because of your judgement about them.

When people are conversing and they mention height somewhere in the conversation, I tend think they may be talking about me because I'm 5'2. For instance, in a classroom, there were a few girls that I knew, acquantences, and they were sitting a few rows up lateral to me. I heard the words "tall" and "height" a lot among their conversing among the conversing of the class. I cannot explain but I had this awkward weird feeling inside me for some reason. Throughout the lecture I could have sworn one of them kept glancing at me. I know I shouldn't think anything of it or worry what people say about me becaue I cannot change my height unfortunately. Unfortunately, I must learn to live with it. I've put a lot of thought into the reason for my existence through out my short life time, and I think I must make great successes in this world in order to grow tall in a figurative sense. Now my task is to seek out what makes success. I must know how can something be original if everything is a copy of the original? I've thought about it, and many great people do not marry or pass on their genes to future generations. Could it be the same with me?

I went to the bar with one of my good friends, but I felt so distant from him. Its like things have changed. I don't know it was just a different and weird feeling.

A smile, and a simple "Hi, whats your name?" works.

To be honest, I'm afraid of rejection and the outcome of it. I know how to flirt with girls and attract girls just fine, but its tough asking them out. I don't like planning out what to say, for instance "Would you like to go on a date to suchandsuch place". It just seems all too awkward to me because I like things to happen randomly and spontaneously, or its more easy with them asking me out. For instance, I do not want to plan on asking a girl out this coming Friday or any weekend because I don't want to put much effort into all of the planning just to risk the chance of getting a "no". What if the workmate, classmate, volunteer-mate, or friend says no? I'm more afraid of what follows. I have no problem attracting, but I have a problem with asking them out.

I will PM you.