itsallgrand

Boltrun, gross! Lol. I hate that crap too. I once had a man I was briefly dating tell me "already trying to direct the traffic" - meaning, he didn't like that I was assertive with physical affection. Like damn, yeah, I'm not the starfish type, wasn't used to anyone complaining about that lol. Compatibility is what it's all about.

Hmm I haven't heard this often so I'm not sure. Could be these women are not really open and available for a relationship. Or maybe these men are looking for someone different than the personalities they are coming across. I'd have to hear what these men have to say, I guess.

I think you are agreeing though with the basic idea. Not needing them to fill those holes in your life that you (general you) should be filling for yourself. There are plenty out there trying to fill their holes with a man or woman. I'm sure you've met some! That's all it really means.

I know for a fact that I wouldn't be in a relationship as long as I have with my SO if he weren't fiercely independent and appreciated that in me too. It's a personality compatibility thing. We adore each other, and make an amazing team. That's actually one of the things my MIL regularly brings up " you work so well together!". We don't need each other strictly speaking. And there's huge comfort in that, for me. That doesn't mean we don't have each other's back or don't miss each other when we are apart. Us together is still stronger than us seperate. I'm not a rich career woman either. I'm just me. I like doing what I can for myself. I like being supported in that. We both had relationships prior where the other wanted something more traditional. It felt stifling. Like a weight. I mean, pretty much every day we sweet talk each other about how much we appreciate each other for being who we are. Things opening up just made it easier for people like me and him. I can't tell you how many men I briefly dated who wanted traditional roles. And hey, there are people out there for them. But I'm lucky I'm not stuck with that as my only choice!

Easter again.

I think being approachable is half the battle. If you are relaxed and don't over think it, he will get the message that you are open to conversation and such. It will come about naturally if there's mutual interest there.

Sweet! New house! But you are probably exhausted.

For Easter ❣️

Jerry!! Jerry!! Jerry!! It's like an episode of Springer. Not good.

It's a really neat part of this point in my life! Seeing the kids who I've been loving up as little kids become adults and doing their own thing. I imagine it's this feeling of pride and delight on steroids for moms and dads.

Your mom isn't a healthy person and you need to distance yourself and not be so enmeshed with her.

How do people typically get to know each other and get together?

Eastern Europe? Scandinavian country?

Music...you already know his taste lol.

I got to spend some time just myself and my niece. She has grown into such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. I'm so proud of her and she's lots of fun to spend time with. She's so excited about the work she is doing now and told me how she's the only female in her new job but it doesn't bother her at all. But I could tell she's proud she's holding her own with the big boys! And she should be. I love her gumption to dive in and go for what she wants. It's funny what people remember too. She has stayed with us on and off for short periods as her home life has been less than great growing up. We spent many a night too out searching for her in her teens during a rocky period for her. I've hunted her down, pulled her out of some situations, and she was not so pleased with me at the time. But she always left with me! We had lots of chats in little hole in the walls at ungodly hours. She remembers what we ate lol. I freaking love that woman. My SO was like "she's a good kid". I said "she's a woman now, not a kid". He said " she's a good KID". LOL . I guess even uncles can have a hard time coming to terms that the cute little kid is fully grown up. But she's earned being recognized as grown. She is building a life and stability for herself, pays her own way, and is already thinking and doing things that lend that hand out to help others.

See it all the time. Trading in for the younger model. I always wondered why these types bother to get married. They end up with a bunch of exes and paying out the butt for the privilege lol. At least die hard Casanovas who just skip from one to the next are honest about their intentions

Yeah same, rainbowandroses. I was never interested in those men who had the mindset of women having an expiry date on attractiveness or desirability. There are plenty who feel that way, and they can have at 'er , but I avoided them like the plague even as a girl. There are a lot of tells when someone feels that way, and for the most part it's not too hard to make a choice one way or another if you want to be with someone like that or no. It's two different ball games dating looking for an equal and looking for someone based on fleeting desires they can fill for you and vice versa.

Is it possible you aren't ready to commit to anything serious yourself yet? You measured the time since you've been single in months, which is sort of interesting to me because it implies you are still struggling with the end of that relationship. And if you are, hey, that would be ok. It's a pretty huge adjustment. I don't know the circumstances that led to that, but maybe it had an impact on your ability to trust men for now? Is the child's father still in the child's life? Right now you are choosing casual with sex. If you own it, really own it, it will take you further in having your sense of control versus feeling like this is a result of "how men are". There are men who prey on women they see as vulnerable, but that's not limited to single moms. And there are plenty of good men who build lives with women who already have children.

That sounds beautiful. Love the walls covered in greenery as well. I haven't attempted that but I love how it looks. Hah I wouldn't say a big gardener but I enjoy it and I'm getting better as I go. That's part of what I love, you can keep learning your whole life about it, and there's so much to try. My knowledge is pretty limited to what grows well here, so I feel unqualified to give advice on planting in England! There's a real rich history and I bet you could find a lot of nice people in your community who would love to give you advice though lol. Bonus to that is like your landscaper friend, gardeners loves sharing what they have.

I liked hearing about martial bliss' garden. She was doing some cool things with her yard. I'm looking forward to being able to plant. It's so therapeutic. And fresh new veg again. Will perk up my spirits.

Yes! What the heck! So sorry

I've always liked the North and I've got lots of skills that would/do work in my favor from growing up in the country. And as a couple, we are both kinda hippies anyways lol who do a lot for ourselves and have plans for further self sufficiency. I love this stuff even when things are good so that's OK. It's just scary and depressing to see things go to pot so quickly. Thanks for listening ladies, I really mean that. I try to not go off! But I'm tired ...so tired.

Naw, you don't sound that way to me. It really is that bad.

Thanks mylolita and Batya. I try to count my blessings but tonight I am exhausted and a long day tomorrow and that's when I find myself really having a hard time shutting my mouth about this.