There is no reason for you to die, although I understand why you feel that way. Life is not the easiest to live when you realize you've hurt someone. But you can't beat yourself up for this.
Have you apologized to her? If you have, that's all you can really do.
It may not seem like it now, but life does go on my friend. We all make mistakes, and the first thing to do is acknowledge them. You have succeeded in this area and I congradulate you for that.
Keep on going, just have it set in your mind that the woman you are with in the future needs to be treated with more respect.
Don't keep dwelling on her, if she is not giving you a chance then I would suggest you move on, just as she is. And whatever you do, don't keep begging, that will drive her insaine!
Everything will work out in the end. Just remember, life goes on and (believe it or not) things could get worse.