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Pippa

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  1. Pippa
    Hi Babypink, Woa! Your story sounds very scary! LoL. I mean its scary in a sense it was very similar to my ex girlfriend who lived a semi-far distance from me. She lived up 1 hour away from me too. I work in a call centre, and I speak to customers on the telephone up to 7.5 hours a day. I was with her for 7 months, and during that time. I was exactly doing as what your boyfriend is doing now. I have to give you some advice here. We emailed each other every day too! Also text each other, and the phone calls where few, and far between. This is what split us up. Unfortunately when we did meet, we sometimes had nothing to say. You have to keep in touch by telephone, or your silences will grow, and the longer it is you don`t hear each others voices. You will grow apart. Thats what happened to my ex. She just didn`t think I was there. Thats why she left. Please get off the emails, and start talking on the phone. My girlfriend left me, and told me after she left, "We don`t talk like normal couples do", and said, "We weren`t a couple!!" Those words have not stopped ringing in my head. The new girl I m seeing now. Well.... I ve learnt my lesson. (not that it was wrong in any way, nor a mistake. Its how we met, and how we continued to talk) The telephone is more intimate than sending emails. Make it that way.
  2. Pippa
    That`s okay buddy. I need to say this once. Things always look better on paper. The reality is, relationships, and life never are. You can`t go writing stuff , list everything, and the problems you think will magically disappear. They won`t my friend. Your ex may have a totally different opinion on your relatioship. Another thing I need to advise you is, you both need to find out from each other what you both want. At least you still have the friendship connection. You have a chance to prove that you can change, have changed, and you can match up to her expectations. Like I said. Please calm down with the temper. I m not sure how you intended for people to percieve your post, but being peeved off about a post is nothing. There are other things to be peeved about. Let me give you an example here. Okay, you wrote a long post. What did you do? You went back on and wrote it out again. You can maybe do this with your ex. Okay your relationship failed, but like your post, you can pick up the pieces and try again. Remember, there`s possibly nothing in your relationship that can`t be resolved. Like your post, there is a way to solve the problem of closing the window. Why not copy, save what you write, and that way you can save yourself more aggravation. Then again. What`s a post anyway? Good luck my friend
  3. Pippa
    The best idea is don`t! DO NOT print anything out, and show her. Some girls may get peeved off with it all. If my ex showed me print outs from someone she had been talking to. I certainly would not be happy. Why you ask? Well for me, I would NOT be happy because if there was a problem. Who is the first problem you should be speaking to? Yes........It should be your partner. Its nobody else`s business, but only for the both of you. Get my drift? So please, don`t print this out.
  4. Pippa
    Hey there, Thanks for your information, and opening up. Talking about it is the first step in figuring out what you want. To be honest it doesn`t sound like your incompatabile. There are a few niggly bits that can`t be changed here, and reading your post it sounds like you know what they are. No.1 No.2 No.3 To answer your post, you have to control number 1. Maybe try anger management, and keep things on a level your ex can understand. How you win people over is definitely not through anger. In some situations people avoid conflict. Number two, you have to communicate to each other in a different way. Maybe not argue, but by talking things through like mature adults. It takes time, and patience to learn, and understand each other. Arguing isnt the way to do things. Sometimes it may be a good idea, where the both of you can focus on each other, and talk things through one after the other. Try letting the other half talk for 15 minutes without you butting into her convesation, and then you can give your opinion when your time is due. Number 3 is closely linked with number 2. I m a living example of this, although I wont go into my story. I had a longish distance relationship. Since distance was a factor, you have to agree or disagree (like in your scenario where you disagreed to meet her at the movie premiere, but you have to give reasons to why) how you make plans when seeing each other. If you live far away, you have to make plans further in advance. You`re not going to get back with her unless you resolve any of these problems, but I think the major reason why she left you is the constant arguing, followed by your hot temper. If you can sort that out you can then work on numbers 2 and 3. I hope this helps.
  5. Pippa
    Hello my friend. Fist of all your grammer was not a personnal dig. It just helps us understand your story a lot better. That wasn`t a long post at all. It helps you bring out all your feelings. To be honest, I don`t think she wants you back. Remember all the fighting? She got pretty fed up of that right? Thats why she broke up with you in the first place. I know you are down. So am I, but like you said, This is the "honey moon period" when you get to know someone. If you get past that, and last a lot longer then maybe she is the one for you. Unfortunately she may not be the one. After the honey moon period, she has got to know you, and she may not like things about you she may have not know before. That doesnt necessary mean she wants to get back with you. Thats her parents opinion. Maybe the word "miss" had been used in the wrong context. Maybe her parents had been asking for you. I think the main thing for you is to give examples who causes, or starts the fights. If you cant resolve this then there will be no future for you.
  6. Pippa
    Hey guys, Please use correct punctuation, paragraphs, and spaces so other enotaloners can read your posts easier. Right now I m getting a headache, and sore eyes reading huge posts without the necessary paragraphs lol
  7. Pippa
    (Slapping my head at the same time and saying, "Doh!") The question was what do you want!? I never asked her what she wanted, and you to agree with it. Thats just a cop out. You`ve not even answered my other questions. To me it sounds like you want more. Of course, and so do I, however my situation is different because my ex is dating someone else, and no longer speaking to me. At least your ex is. Now I ll ask this question again. What will you do when one day she will stop sending you emails, and phoning you?
  8. Pippa
    Hey, stop it the7mcs lol You`re worse than me over analysing stuff. I don`t think she meant it. Six/seven years is a long time, and if she never stopped thinking about him, then at least she would have got in touch, or pulled over to talk to him. Nah.....its all pleasantries. Thats all!
  9. Pippa
    Look, it depends what you want. Just think about it this way. Obviousily she is still thinking about you, she has the time, and trouble to still keep you in her life. Although this NC business, and `time to heal`, ain`t for everyone. What I must say to you is..... What is it you want? Do you intend on getting back together? Do you want to be friends? Lets put it this way. One day, she will give up. She will stop emailing, and phoning. She will give up. What is that going to do to you? When you hear nothing, and then you start emailing her, and phoning her. It all sounds like a bit of game playing to me. Has she done this before? Have you emailed, and she has not responded. If so then it is time to cut your losses, and date other people. Either that give it time, probably months before you even answer. My ex has stopped texting me, and also emailing me. Didn`t even bother to send me a birthday card or even say thank you when I sent her kids cards. She stopped having me in her life, and that really upset me. So what is it you want?
  10. Pippa
    Hey Hoppy! Any news from the ex from 3.5 years ago? Where you at my friend?
  11. Pippa
    Wow! First of all, - how do you know after 7 years that she is happily married? Trying not to read to much into this, but life does present some awkward coincidences. I think after 6 years, that is a long time, and a good time to catch up. However it will be really hard if the feelings are still there, but what a way to meet? Do you think this is fate? A second chance or am I over analysing this situation? "I think about you all the time", is a nice thing to say. I d be chasing after her like in the movies. Then again thats the movies.
  12. Pippa
    I ve heard this line before, but this is very strange how a woman would use this after 3.5 years. You usually hear this phrase when the dumper wants to make it seem that dumping you doesn`t mean they can`t still see you, or to make it feel like to them it`s almost like it`s okay to dump you. I think you have to be careful what she means by this, and it could mean nothing, but ONLY friends. I m not sure what your circumstances are. More information about the break up would be appreciated. What happened to you both? Do you know if she has dated other people during this time? As we grow older we naturally shed some friends. Maybe she is lacking in friends, and feels the need to catch up. It could be possible she must have thought you where the only one that gave her security, and good advice when she needed it when you where with her. I ve already asked what was said in the phone call, but no other infomation has been given accept an apology. For what? I would take this really slow if I where you. Ask yourself what are her motives? As I said it could mean nothing so don`t get yourself all hyped up, and then to be disappointed, and hurt again.
  13. Pippa
    Very unusual. She must have been thinking of you over this time of 3.5 years. No one would contact you without any reason to do so. I know my ex is the sort of woman to see if I was ok, but after 3.5 years, this is different. I know my ex spoke to someone,when we split last year, and said `we usually check with each other to see if we are ok`. Unless you had a very bad break up she may be calling to see if you are okay. It depends who split up with who. Some people do genuinely care for your health, and mental well being, and of cousre this may mean nothing except for that. However if it was a bad break up, then sometimes they do check up on you to see if what they done (by leaving) was okay. I ve read on a different forum that if you get dumped and the other person is checking how you are to go into NC. The dumoer wants to get affirmation that leaving was okay. You never mentioned what your conversation consisted of. What did she say? Did she ask for anything?
  14. Pippa
    Okay, its a lot more complicated than you think. We separated in Oct 2005. Four days after we split up she goes back on the iternet. I posted a fake profile on the site, and she emailed him. (my alter ego) She told this fake person more things than she ever told me straight to my face. I spoke to a support worker, (also a friend of mine, and colleague) and she said people find it easier to talk to strangers, as its less complicated. They don`t really know the person so the stranger will support every word. Its easier for them to say what they want to hear. Lets say the dating site where she went to gives an indicator when you log on. She kept on logging on every couple of days. I did point that out to her, and she told me that she was back on the site telling people she wouldn`t be dating for a while. Two months after we split. One nightI came home drunk. I don`t know how but I managed to get into her profile! What she said was true that she replying back to people telling them she had just come out of a relationship. I m not proud of this, and she has since changed her password after she was getting harassed by another man, and giving verbal abuse. What I found out was that I was on holiday with my friends in September (a trip which was organised, and agreed before I met her). Anyway she emailed a man 6 times. They chatted, and flirted with each other, and to cust a long story short the man asks her to dump me!!!! She replied along the lines of `I will as soon as I can find a reason`. She couldnt even find a reason to dump me. The stranger replied back saying that if she did he would look after her, and somewhere inbetween these emails of hers she does stick up for me saying that I am a `nice man!` However this stranger tells her that I m away on holiday without her, and no man should leave her on her on as she deserves romantic nights in! I do know from her emails that they met on a night out, and had drinks together. Two days after that meeting I get dumped!
  15. Pippa
    Thanks, I wish things can improve for us. I feel robbed twice since she dumped me, and now has withdrawn all contact. I still email every now and again. That is roughly twice in a month. Do you think I should still continue to do so? Why would anyone want to keep an ex`s emails?
  16. Pippa
    Thank you Blueangel. You have some really good, and sound advice especially for a 15 year old. However I am a bit confused about what you say: Sorry what does this mean? Can you explain more? I agree, my ex never told me the truth until after we split up, but they where minor things that couldn`t be sorted. She said things like `we weren`t a couple`, or `we don`t talk like normal couples do`. The odd thing is she was unable to tell me the truth, but she can tell her online friends what she thought of me. I may never get a reply or I m might just get told to get lost in a nice way. Which ever way, I just want to get back to talking terms with her again. I feel soemthing is missing in my life. I have never fallen out with anyone before, and I cant believe why she is doing this. I miss her kids as much as I miss her.
  17. Pippa
    Wow! Teddy, you have hit the spot. I think you are right! She did say to an online friend that she had been married for so long, and she tried her best in the marriage. I think she has been let down by men. When I was still with her I watched, an old Christmas video of her with her kids. Her ex husband had filmed it, and she looked really unhappy. She only got pots and pans for her Christmas present! I think she doesn`t want to try anymore as it hurts her. She wants to come first now, and I think thats why she left me. Unfortunately I got tied up with working long hours to clear some personal debts before I met her. She must have thought I was neglecting her, and was going the same route with her ex husband who `fell in love`, with his work.
  18. Pippa
    iamteddybearfeelmecuddle thanks for your reply too. I think you are right. She was married for 10 years, and her husband back then didn`t treat her that well. I know when I was with her she told how he (her then husband)fell in love with his work, and he studied hard and moved on to get a better job, while she supported him. I know that she feels bitter, and it hurts her when she is made to be second best. She had to support and look after the kids when her then husband pursued, and excelled in his career and left her behind. To answer your question she`s not divorced but separated. There`s been small incidents in our relationship that looking back now had never been resolved so she just decided to leave with out sorting them. My ex is very stubborn. However, she does not deal with confrontation well, and instead of fixing things when they are slightly broken she`ll quite happily walk away from it instead of sorting it.
  19. Pippa
    Thanks Lonelyinasmalltown for your reply. It could be possible that she doesn`t want to play with my feelings, or she just wants to stop contacting me and wants to concentrate on her new boyfriend. To answer your question about my ex contacting me again. Well, to be jonest I would be happy. I feel robbed yet again, after she dumps me without any particular idea what went wrong. It wasn`t till about 3 months later after talking to her did I find out it was just the `smallest things that have built up to one big thing` that she has now stopped all contact. If I m right it should be the other way. I should be the one thats doing NC after beeing dumped. I suppose it isnt my business about her other relationship. You`re right. In fact when I do email her I never ask anything about the other man. I m not sure if I m over this relationship. Its been 8 months now since we split. What I havent told you is that I ve met someone else, and although I like her, I still think of my ex still. I feel very bad now that my ex is not talking to me anymore.
  20. Pippa
    I need to give a very basic breakdown on how I arrived here. I would like advice on how to handle my ex-girlfriend. We bascially met last year on a internet dating site. It was March 2005, and we split in October 2005. I was her 3rd boyfriend. Before we met she had been married for 10 years, and had 2 beautiful daughters. Her first two boyfriends lasted about 3 months each. I went out with her for 7 months, and that was the longest relationship she had after her separation. I know that she had a slight relationship with another man after me for around 4 months, had a one night stand with another man on a different dating site, and she is now on her 6th. I stayed 47 miles away from her which was a 40minute drive. Her new man lives about 1 hour away, and to get there she drives past me! To cut a long story short, I stil pursued her when we split in October 2005 all the way up until May 2006. We still spoke to each other back then, but she has now met someone else and has not spoken to me since. Looking back I think I must have fustrated her. Back when she split up with me in Oct 2005 she said the usual, `its not you, its me`, `I m all confused right now`. Four days after we split, she went striaght back on to the dating site where we met, and started to look for a new boyfriend. I ve been told she is a `serial monogamist`. My story is a lot more complicated than this but this is the basic outline. What I would like to know is how do I re-establish contact? I still send her the occasional email, and I know she keeps them. Her oldest daughters birthday was on the 16th June, and I sent her a birthday card. There was no reply, or even a thank you. I didnt even get a birthday card or anything on the 18th June. She hasnt replied to any of my last emails since the 22 May 2006, and my last text in 9th June. I ve sent 5 emails since May. SOme are personal thoughts and some are jokes and light hearted funny attachments. Why would my ex still keep my emails? Could it be her friends or even her current boyfriend that has advised her not to contact me? This is not her. She replied to everything I sent. Also do you think her LDR will last going by her previous relationships?
  21. Pippa
    Whoa, This story sounds like very much like my own. I met a woman of 37 years. I was 30 when I met her, and she had been married for 10 years and had 2 kids. We dated for 7 months, and looking back now I know that in the last few days, or should I even say in 1 week my ex changed her whole attitude towards me, and dumped me by email. No details, or even any hint of what was going wrong. We met on a internet dating site. When she dumped me she used all the `its not you, its me`, `I m not feeling that great, and I m all confused right now`, routine. I logged back into the internet dating site and she was back on it 4 days after we split up, and she was looking for another date. You can`t analyse your ex. It will just drive you nuts. A person does not emotionally check out of a relationship in one day or should I say in a week. For the 9 months that you were together, I would probably guess maybe in the last 2 months she may have been very unhappy, and in the last month she dumped ypu something must have made that happen. Like my ex, she wanted the friends routine. Saying that I was welcome to her house anytime. This is not so true now! My ex has a new boyfriend. I was number 3 and this is the 6th boyfriend! I have no idea if this wil last but going by her last relationships, they weren`t that long. I lasted 7 months. The others where 2 or 3 months, and I know she had a one night stand. I think the friends thing is for her to make dumping you okay. Some people here wouldnt have that saying you `cant have your cake and eat it`. Yu have to remember she dumped you for a reason. Until you find out what this is then you may as well go out there and find another person who likes you the way you are.
  22. Pippa
    Hard to say. It really depends on the individual. If they are interested in your sexually, trying to find out if you are available, or to find out about your love life in general. I got asked this by a work colleague if, `I had a girlfriend?`. I told her `no` and proceeded to ask her why she asked that question. She replied you are such a nice guy not to have a girlfriend! I know this girl was not interested in getting a date with me, but curious of my lifestyle, and why I seemed so cheerful. There was no way we could ever get together as she was waaaay `out of my league!`.
  23. Pippa
    Women are indeed funny. When My ex dumped me in Oct 2005. I received a message from her 2 weeks later asking if I was okay!? You see woman dont like the one that have done wrong, or caused the real harm in the relationship. To some people texting me to see if I was `okay` was to reassure he,r what she had done to me was alright. She was in no doubt trying to find out if I was getting by, and to add to idea in splitting up with me wasn`t at all bad to her. I m not the one to play games, and if I did no contact I wouldnt have found out why she dumped me. It took me 4 months after our split to find out what went wrong. This was through talking, texting and emailing each other occasionally. If you do NC then thats up to you, but you will need a lot of strength to do it. I m not so sure if thei NC does work. We are social mammals, and we do neet to talk. You have to swallow up your pride and talk to your ex in a way to get her back. No one likes to be ignored which is what NC is about. If you do that to her then she will do that to you. I still want to see my ex, every now and again. If our paths cross in the future then thats what I will wait for. I wont sit and do nothing. I ve kept busy,a nd went back to college. Also on the look out for a new girlfriend. The answer to your question is if you don`t want to call then thats fine. Either send her a card with the few basics such as `happy birthday` or just text, or send an e-card. That way you avoid any unawkwardness being on the phone. Good luck
  24. Pippa
    Life is full of surprises. I believe we all have a chance in getting the second chance we want. I never argued with ex and I know she was really happy with me back in July 2005, and was happy up until the end of September 2005. I m not sure if if was her work that dragged her down. Due to problems at work, she was signed off for 10 weeks. Maybe I wasnt there for her and she had all that time to ponder by herself. During the 10 weeks we emailed each other and texted each other and saw each other when we could. Imagine yourself being alone for 10 weeks. I had work, and had to pay bills, debts. I should have taken time off work, and spend all week with her. Maybe I should have taken time off work to be with her more. My ex girlfriend was diagnosed with mild depression, and used to have bouts of panic attacks. Her job hit an all time low and I ve been told that depressed people need to do something to reset their lives and they usually take it on their partners seeing them as the stressor. I think its unfair to class me as the stressor. I thnk she needed more support, and I wasnt really there for her. She never gave me any sign or indication that she was a very needy person. In fact she hid her feelings so well! I still want her back. She is going on hoilday for 3 days. The first time she came back on holiday, we had a brief talk about our relationship. The second time she came back she ended it! I wonder what she is going to do when she comes back on this occasion? Maybe see that she gave up too early, and wants to give me a second chance?.......I wish! We shall see.
  25. Pippa
    I believe its just human curiosity. My ex girlfriend who I only dated for 7 months went onto one of my websites. She read my profile. In it it briefly mentioned her. So after a month of not emailing me. What does she do? She emails me asking I should update my profile! Obviousily because we split up. Whats she said in her email was that she `just` received an e-card from me!? Utter crap. The e-card was sent back in Aug 2005 and we split up Oct 2005. She sent me this email after our emails dried up for a month! Its hard to say why anyone wants to check up on you. Maybe there is a small flame in her still burning for you. Either that you have an interesting life compared to hers!
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