Pippa

Thanks for your opinion Penny. To be honest she has actually NEVER taken someone back before. This is the first one. I dont think she has lied about it to me. When I asked her when I can have her back she replied `I dunno`. She even said if there was `something better out there I`ll take it!` That really hurt!! I know that when we where seeing each other she had responses from other people on the internet and she would reply `no thanks I ve met a nice man`. That nice man was me but I dont really know what went wrong and when. Whenever she is unhappy I ve never seen her communicate to me how unhappy she actually was until July of 2005. She pulled me up and we had a small one to one lasting only 15 minutes. Thats when I listened to her. She is full of insecurities and self doubt. My ex did say I redeemed myself but she did tell me after 4 months later after outr split. She added we `weren`t actually a couple, we only see each other every now and again`. She even said that she `didnt feel it was getting anywhere`. I believe these are her own demons inside her head. She still thinks I am a nice person and still speaks to me so maybe one day I can get her back. Maybe soon.

Although not a long time I ve been out with this woman. My story is also at link removed Only around 7 months. We split in Oct 2005 We were happy together, and suddenly out of the blue one day she emails me to say she didnt want me to be her boyfriend anymore. Good grief! Done by email of all things. She did try to call be on the phone before she emailed me, but I ignored it thinking it was another sales company. Anyway we slept together in the same bed, the week before, and only less than a week later her emotions changed. I have since found out that 4 days after we split up, she went back on the internet dating site where we met, and dated another guy! This brief relationship lasted for 4 months. They went their own separate ways. Well okay they fell out with each other. I found out that the pair of them couldn`t even hold a decent conversation without arguing with each other. I thought great now I can get try to win her back. Well after a few weeks of probing and chatting to her. I did ask when I can get back with her. (this is around Dec 2005 when she was seeing the above new guy). My ex replied she has never taken one back before. I ve only found out during the last 4 days that she has gone back to an ex! This was the first man she met before me. I m the third! What chnaces do I have to win this woman back. She is `sort` of seeing this previous ex? What are the options and what shall I do?

Whoa! Your situation sounds like a little like mine. My ex girlfriend split up with me. It was hard for me back then, but I m finding myself getting better/stronger each day. The thing is why do exs play these little games. I ve asked my ex for a drink once and she was up for it and even replied by text saying she would come through to me as it was more fun. (I live in the city and she lives in a small town) On the day, she replied by text, that her friend had turned up unexpectedly at her house and was unable to come and see me! The next meeting about a month later which was supposed to happen was initiated by her. She wanted to meet for a drink. Only for me to be let down the day before saying she had arranged to meet her friend for dinner and forgot to tell me!! I m not sure why the ex does this. Maybe its a gentle way of letting you down so you get fed up and move on. I dont know. Your ex maybe wants to know if she still has control over you. I m not so sure of the texting and then getting back a few days later. My ex ALWAYS text back on the same day. There has only been a couple of times where she had text back the following day. The thing is that my ex ALWAYS replies to me. Imagine if you text your best friend to go out to the pub and he texts back 3 days later. How would that make you feel? I m sure you would think that would be rude. I m not so sure about this NC thing. Maybe your ex gets wound up by having to wait around for you to answer. If you have been apart for 18 months and your feelings have not changed. Maybe she is probing to find out if you are available but you need to show you are interested and text or call back whenever she communicates with you. I mean dont show you are overly keen. Text her back maybe 30 minutes later and then narrow the time to 15 minutes and then to closer the more she texts or communicates with you. I hope the best for you.

Hi there Ploppy I m in the same boat as you. Was in a long distance relationship with a lovely woman accross Scotland. Although 47 miles away. I cant bear to think what you are going through. How long did you see her and how often? I dont think long distance relationships work. My brother had 2 LDR. One was in Brighton, England, and another from Shanghai! Needless to see they never worked out. If it does, then it is rare. You can read about NO CONTACT. I m kind of swayed towards it so I m doing reduced contact with my ex. Take a read. I m know as UKwizard there and I m trying to get responses of NC