heythere1234

"the fact remains that women don't like the nice guys, and they get what they deserve because of it" No, that's not true, you are grasping at straws, to remain in your rut. Tyler's comment was pretty general. I agree a lot of women don't like when a guy is phoney-nice or phsycho-clingy nice, but once again, I assure you nice is a GOOD thing.

And just what is that supposed to mean??? (lol)

"You mature , and for each man its different, you understand there is a difference between a NICE GUY, GENTLEMAN, and A-HOLE. In the middle is...BINGO the balancing point called being a gentleman." You said it tyler..WELL SAID!

Absolutely, itsallgrand, you're smart to see it! and yes, it's kind of sad that they're unwilling to look at what's really going on.

lol! THANK YOU! I completely agree with your perspectives and you added a couple of other perspectives as well. It is so true what you said about it being insulting to women, etc. Thanks, I'm glad to know not all men subscribe to this type of head-in-the-sand nonsense.

lol, well it's kind of like which came first, the chicken or the egg!

Hi, I say, NO, don't ask him out, even under the guise of just friends or whatever. Do let him know you're receptive to him asking you though. Be bold, and say something like I wish you were still gonna be here, because now I won't see you anymore," or something like that...maybe come up with a back up line to push the issue AGAIN, if he doesn't bite. If he doesn't bite to a couple of Obvious "I'm available" lines, then he's not for you.

On the "NiceGuy" issue, I love men who are sweet to me. I'm tired of hearing guys proclaim themselves as "Nice Guys", and saying things obviously designed to manipulate sympathy, like..."I guess Nice Guys always finish last..." (puke). First of all, isn't that a little bit of a self congratulatory thing to say? Please read on. My mother and I share a theory on the whole "NICE GUY" issue. (This isn't directed to anyone of you necessarily, but you may want to keep this in mind when you do hear a guy complain that he's "Too nice..."). When a woman doesn't like a man (regardless of the reason, he's too ugly, old, fat, mean, whatever), she wants to make him go away (ASAP), but doesn't want to make him angry in case he turns into a crazy stalker. So she tries to soften the blow by saying (you guessed it!) "You're a nice guy, but...". Look, maybe the guy is really a bitter angry creep, and not a nice guy at all. But she's not going to tell him so, because of her aforementioned fear of him turning into a crazy angry bitter stalker. So, fellas, if you're one who's been told "you're nice, but..." A LOT, you should stop complaining that women don't like nice guys, because I can assure you that we in fact do! The reality is probably that you are NOT nice.

I mean, I'm not putting you down so don't take it that way, but I really do think you're just overanalyzing terminology here, rather that looking at the big picture. Every woman has her own mannerisms and terminology that she uses. Me, I'm not really into the mushy crap so much. (I think that last one will probably get bleeped, but let's just say it rymes with brap,k?) But if she said it's sweet she probably thinks it's sweet. However, if it came accross forced, then maybe it was because your sudden-fly-by-hair-stroking, came out a bit abrupt and forced, too. And on the 'sweet' guy issue, I love men who are sweet to me, I just love men better who can do that and manage not to be effeminite while they're doing it. My mother and I share a theory on the whole "NICE GUY" issue. (This isn't directed to you necessarily, but you may want to keep this in mind when you hear another guy complain that he's "Too nice...") When a woman doesn't like a man (regardless of the reason), she wants to make him go away (ASAP), but doesn't want to make him angry in case he turns into a crazy stalker. So she tries to soften the blow by saying (you guessed it!) "You're a nice guy, but...". Look, maybe the guy is really a bitter angry creep, and not a nice guy at all. But she's not going to tell him so, because of her aforementioned fear of him turning into a crazy angry bitter stalker. So, you see guys if you're one who's been told "you're nice, but..." A LOT, you should stop complaining that women don't like nice guys, because I can assure you that we in fact do! The reality is probably that you are NOT nice.

You have a point, If someone told me for instance that he was a complete player, I would probably lose interest. But on the other hand, if he was at risk for giving me a disease, (or a bad reputation), or cheating on me, I'd want to know.

Yep most of us seem to agree the bigger obvious muscles are a turn off! I once dated a body builder, he spent more time in front of the mirror than me, and what a weird, finicky eater! ewww!

You guys are both cute! Don't ever think of your size, there's someone for everyone! I'm very small and petite so I do not have that same problem, but believe me the world isn't paved with gold or rose petals for small women, the way some people seem to think (not you all)! Not by any means!

Me Personally, No way! But keep in mind I have no children of my own and don't particularly want any, and least of all having some other woman hanging around the scene to pick up her kids and all that. It all depends on the person! Some people might think that's Great! Over all, I do think slightly more people will be ruled out for your friend than if she didn't have kids, but think of it this way, she's probably more apt to date men who have kids than, say someone like me who would not. So...thereforeeee in someways she has MORE options available to her!

No, it's not just you. I know lots of men and women who are 10 years younger than me but actually look at least 10 years older at minimum, because of their bulk. I agree with your assessment, slim, some muscles. I don't know about the rest of you, but I do not like the look of guys who obviously look like they've been lifting weights, it just looks like their trying too hard, and also it looks unnatural.

Ok I will give you my opinion, with #1 being the best: 1 thin, toned muscles 2 very skinny 3 medium build 4 medium build with muscles 5 body builder, giant muscles 7 large, big muscles but also a good amount of fat 8 obese Not too much change from how you had it, but with thin, toned muscles being Ideal. Think Orlando Bloom or Lance Armstrong, both seriously hot.

Hi nogame, I may be reading your post wrong and if so please correct me. But from what you said, I think that you asked her for a date, called her the day before the scheduled date, but made no mention of the date, then stood her up the day of the date? If that is correct then I would not be surprised if she doesn't desire to set another date with you. Again correct me if I'm wrong. I once agreed to see a Saturday movie with a guy, and he just ignored me completely all week like the plague, I had no idea whether he wanted a matinee, whether he was planning to take me to dinner or if I should eat something first. Then he just turned up on my door step on Saturday. By then I figured he no longer wanted to see me and I told him no.

I think you should get real and stop living in your little fantasy land. not all of us are priveledged like you to be able to go to fancy restaurants on their first date. some of us settle for (gasp!!!) mcdonalds! yes i certainly do have a job and have worked very hard for many years young man. you must be some pig who thinks of nothing but shoving expensive food down your throat if thats what you automatically assume about other people. feel sorry for you, you should watch that. further as i have stated most women do want men to pay for at least the first date if not the first few. going out for the first time with a man and paying half is called hanging out with a platonic bud. if you cant deal with that fact you will continue to find that women don't want to date you. get your self a reality check.

from my experience guys are flattered when a woman persues them, sure; however, they no longer percieve her as a good prize to win. which do you want to be? sure, i'm sure there are plenty of guys who would love to dance with me or kiss me or who knows what else if i initiated it all (plus what a boost to their ego, and it would make them look like a stud in front of their friends!), but from what i have seen in my own experience and that of men and women that I know, i am convinced they would not appreciate me for the sole reason that they did not initiate it. Conversely, i have noted that women feel much more satisfied with their relationship when they are persued by their respective man. that said, as another poster said, it does depend on what you are comfortable with.

hi -i'm a girl not a guy, but that was interesting question i've wondered about that too. sometimes i might have been actually be interested. i don't get it, if they like us why not just say hi how are you or something and not take off? you cant really deposit cat calls in the bank, can you. they're sort of more like funny money. not real.

only my opinion but you say he usually pays and you've been dating several months so i don't see a problem helping him out. the guy behind you didn't know your situation and in any case it was not his business. related topic, my opinion, at first, i want him to pay (and happen to know most women feel exactly the same), then well see. I'll wager i spent way more money and time than he on my outfit, make up, hair, perfume, feminine products, and everthing else. Plus they told us at a work conference that women are still averaging 72 cents to men's dollar for same work nation wide. but that's not even the point, at first i want him to pay. if he wants to split the bill on the first or second date, fine i'll pay half, then i'll promptly forget about him. i don't want to play the role of the man in romance. and i don't want to date a woman

sorry to say but i play with my hair when i'm around: a) other women b) good looking men c) all by my self d) and probably most of all around men i'm not attracted to. bottom line? women play with their hair. we want to look our best at all times for ourselves, not because we are in love with you.