frogkisser

Thank you all for your responses, I really do appreciate it. I am so glad to have found this forum. Often times we have debates on subjects and he tells me that my thinking and perspective is not the norm? What is the norm anyway? He and I are quite different in our attitudes and approach. Sometimes he makes me feel like I'm just way out there especially on the subject of relationships. We have had this ongoing debate and his solution is to never speak of me to others. Well, I guess that's one way of dealing with it! It's not as if he is divulging a deep dark secret, I have none. It's basically stupid stuff like a personal comment I may have made about someone or my opinions. If I wanted someone to know why I wasn't comfortable with them I would tell them myself. I realize that often times it's my problem, not the other person and there is no point in making them feel bad about it. It's usually something I have to work out within myself. Thanks again to you all for sharing. Now, I don't feel so off.

Scott, you are a stellar man. I agree with the last few posts suggesting professional help. It seems that there will come a time when it will go too far. I feel for your difficult situation and admire your strength of love.

I dated a guy for a year and thought I knew him pretty well. We then decided to live together. I realized that I didn't know him that well after all. It is the difficult and stressfull situations and how people handle it that is a great indicator if your relationship will survive, provided all the other compatibility issues have been dealt with. I like the wait and see approach myself. Good luck to you both.

Wooo hooo good for you. Kissing is so much fun!

Interesting take on the human condition. Looks don't= the quality of person but if you are not what a person considers at least somewhat attractive they will not attempt to go deeper. Some people say that the better looking a person is the more personality/mental problems they have. I couldn't say if that is true or not. I think we all have are own issues. It is also a wise rule of thumb to not listen to what any person says but to observe their actions instead, thats whats tangible. You can ask the average person and you will find that we all want something we don't or can't have, that is universal and not exclusively a female trait. If there is anyone who doesn't "have a life" don't dispair, watch the movie About a Boy. Great flick!

A CD, video game, dinner, movie all sound appropriate. Until you get to know him better it is difficult.

I feel your pain. I went through almost the exact same thing, cybersitter, vicodan and all. What I learned is that when he gets angry, he is really angry with himself and masks it as being angry with you. You can set the new rules of the relationship and conditions under which you will stay together, but it just takes one stupid choice to bring you back to square one. I can almost guarantee he needs professional help. Porn additcion is sexual addiction which usually comes from some deep seated wounds he suffered. Occasional porn is not problematic but when it keeps you from properly caring for your child and threatens to ruin your relationship it's time for professional help. Good luck and blessings!

Can there be any assumption of privacy in a relationship? I consider myself to be a private person while he calls it paranoia. I share my thoughts, feelings and opinions with him freely because I expect that things will be kept between us. In his conversations with others, he has no problem retelling my feelings or thoughts, and most of the time it not good. I tell him things b/c he is my confidant. I told him that if I wanted someone to know what I thought or felt I am more than capable of communicating that on my own. I don't want my life to be an open book for just anyone to read. He called me paranoid and said that made him not trust me. I asked him if he considers anything private and he said yes and gave me one example. When I asked him what qualified that particular subject to be deemed private he said he didn't know. I can't see myself becoming juvenile and prefacing everything with "don't repeat this to anyone". Is my need for privacy extreme or does he have boundary issues?