hshot_rooke

Hey bubbamackdaddy We've talked before, remember? We're both in the same situation. As are probably 50% of the guys including thatboy_e. bmackdaddy, It's been 11 months for me now. You're feeling the exact same way I'm feeling. I'm 27 too, and I refused to grow up and communicate with my EX. Your line "I really did love her and wanted to marry her and always worried my buddies would think but realized now that all that didn't matter if you were with the person that you loved... " so similar to my thoughts. thatboy_e, you too are right about if this thing never happened to us, we may have never learned. Maybe that's one of the reasons women are put on this planet, too teach us how stupid and selfish men can be. I'm still beating myself up after 11 months of everything that should/could have been. Everything that I never did for her and everything that I should have done with/for her. It really sucks not being able to do all the things you regret not doing with them, or not buying for them, or not saying to them. Even after so long. Maybe one day our EX's will realize the True Love that all us guys feel after being so stupid and selfish.

Hey vfunkera I guess we all feel very much alike. I treated my EX very well too. We never fought, always had really good times together. I just never was as sweet to her as she was to me. You know what, I never realized she was perfect until I lost her. Some people may say that if you didn't feel it then, then maybe she wasn't the one. But, that's not it. curiosity go the better of me. I wondered what else was out there. Now I know that I don't want anything else. I realize now that I'll never find anyone as sweet as her with all the qualities she had (that I was looking for). I just never saw it in time. Your line: "im trying to live with the fact that if it was ment to b something will happen, but i think i blew it on the perfect girl, and that the girl i am ment to b with (if it isnt her) just wont b as good as her." Yeah I know what you mean, no one will be as good as my EX because that's all we want now. Maybe in your case she'll realize what she's lost. But in my case, I highly doubt it. That's why I'm taking it as hard as I am. Maybe one day I'll be able to show her the life I can give her. Good luck man.

Well, what if you never treated her like a true princess. Never complimented her on her beauty. Never said "I love you". What if you realize all those mistakes now? Yes, I believe a person deserves another chance after realizing his/her mistakes. But I highly doubt that this new guy will make as many as myself. I know she's missing out on the greatest life, but she'll never see it that way. I guess I just had to learn from it and apply it to someone else. Problem is, she was perfect. And I know I'll never find someone as special as her. Heh, feeling sorry for myself...yep. But what else can you do when you've lost the most perfect woman in spirit, body and mind?

Hey guys, same situation here. 1.5 weeks after a 2.5 year relationship, she hooked up with another guy. Was seeing him at like 11pm at night not even 2 weeks after we ended it. Moved out with him 5 months later. Don't want to sound bitter and don't want to get flamed to death, but many women do it. They can cause it's easier for them. Hard to believe though that after so long they could just hitch on to someone else. Yes I'm angry, I'm sure we all are. I still love her though and still want to give her the best life. You said it caliboy. The pain from knowing that they are intimate killed me for the first 5 months we were apart. Especially when it feels as though you learned all the intimate things together and now she's giving what you had together to someone else. It's been 9 months now. When will it end?

Thanks for the advice Kali74. Thing is there really is no hope for me and my EX. I've done so many things to try to win her back. So many love letters and promises of things that would be so different. But, she doesn't want to try again. Her exact words were: "...There is no more us. Not now, not in the future...." It's been 9 months now since we've seen each other. She started seeing a new guy about a week and a half after we ended it and moved in with him 5 months later. If he tells her she's beautiful or tells her how much he loves her or compliments her once a week, I know she'll never come back, because I never did that in my 2.5 years. I can count on one hand how many times I offered compliments and "I love you's". So, it's over between us, even though I knew I could be the most perfect boyfriend to her now. Well, sometimes people have to go through this to realize and appreciate what they have. Maybe I can do that for someone else sometime in my future. I just wish it was her. I just wish she could realize this.

Hey bubbamack Just read your post, and the letter was something. I tried all of this too. I wrote some pretty emotional emails, but nothing worked. She wouldn't even talk to me on the phone. She started dating a guy not even 2 weeks after we ended it and moved in with him 5 months later. That hurts the most. Thing is I found out that he was interested in her while we were dating. Which leads me to believe she was interested too, even when she was dating me. Hope you are doing better man. It's been hell for the past 9 months, but hopefully I will move on soon. Good luck to you and BellaSophia.

I agree with lessthanjed. I've actually gone 9 months and have been emailing my EX trying to let her know how much I love her. How much things would be different because I realize my mistakes now. LaLa's EX may not be the jerk he seems to be. SOMETIMES LOVE HURTS SO MUCH THAT YOU DO SOME CRAZY THINGS. Sometimes you love someone so much and to have them not feel the same way, makes you feel so worthless inside that you want to make things all better for you and your girl/boy friend. It makes you want to die inside. It makes you essentially crazy to have what you had before. This is probably what he is feeling. I know I'm pretty stable, and I know I've said some psycho things since my EX and I ended it. But if you know that your relationship would be so much different, so much better now that you understand your mistakes, isn't it worth it to hang on to something that you love so much? That being said, 2 people must feel the same way for it to work. The two must be willing to try again. To love again or it will never work. I'm glad to hear some of the replies, especially Princess777, TG2003 and lessthanjed. Yes, I know there are 2 sides to every story and harassment is never a good thing. But try to look at it from his point of view. He's doing it for love. He realizes he missed out on something very special in his life and is fighting to get it back. One way or the other, take the advice of the posts LaLa. If you don't want him ever, let him know so he can hurt and hurt and eventually move on. I'm sure you would make him the happiest man on the planet though if you gave him another chance. Doesn't everyone deserve another chance?

Hey Kali74 Similarly, my situation is kind of like yours. My first relationship which was with this girl was for 2.5 years. My first love.....Such great times. Such an amazing connection with each other. Special 2.5 years of my life. It sounds as though you have not let go of him even after 2.5 years. It's been 9 months for me and I still think about everything she was. Her smell, her sweetness, every single thing about her was perfect. Beautiful, sexy, cute, sweet as sugar, a perfect angel. Yes, I'll always think of her that way. In my heart I hope that one day her new boyfriend will make mistakes like I made mistakes. That maybe one day we will date again, so that I can show her how much I've grown up and matured after not having her in my life. The relationship ended very, very messily, because I wasn't mature enough to let go. Like Gilgamesh says, maybe after 2.5 years, he has grown up. Has matured and now realizes that he missed out on something very special. Or maybe he is happy now without you. I agree that you must think more before contacting him, but why let one more chance pass you by? I say contact him. If he's mature enough and humble enough to send you a greeting but does not want anything further. Maybe you should let go as we all should? I know that's not what you want to hear, because maybe like me you have lost someone very very special. But there may be that chance that he is single....that he does miss you as much as you miss him....that the spark may still be there even after all these years? Don't pass up the chance....Maybe even let him know.... I wish you luck and I hope you can win him back, because every story that I hear of like mine, gives me hope that I can get her back one day.

Sounds as though you two had an amazing thing together. Surprising why you feel as though you can't work it out. It seems as though you feel the same way he does. My story is very similar to yours. My EX and I had an amazing thing for 2.5 years. But in the end she met someone else and then completely cut me out of her life. I thought maybe we could work things out, but she pretty much has told me things will never be between us now or even in the future. Her exact words: "...There is no more us. Not now, Not in the future...." Well, from the way things sound. It sounds as though he is completely heartbroken. It also sounds as if you're very heartbroken yourself. If you truly did love each other as much as your post implies, do you really think that giving it one more chance would end up as a disaster? Who made the mistakes, probably the both of you. Can't you talk things out? Communicate with each other? Maybe try again? I mean I wish my EX and I could have the chance to talk things out, but we never got the chance cause she started dating not even 2 weeks after I ended it. Now she's living with the guy, 5 months later.....so I know we'll never be together. You may think that it's the right decision, sounds as though he regrets his actions, but if you truly love him, doesn't the love between you two deserve that one more try? Sounds as though you have that one more chance in you..... Good luck.

Wow, your decision seems so very hard. I'm one of the guys that has made so many mistakes that my EX would never give me another chance. I'm one of those guys who realizes all the stupid mistakes he made only after he lost the person he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Didn't do anything unforgiveable like cheat, just neglected, didn't show enough love, didn't compliment like a significant other should. But that's enough, and she gave me 2 chances already and I didn't know until it was too late. First love, first relationship....I"m blaming it on that and not knowing what love was. Anyways, I'm biased towards your husband who wants to give it a second chance. Because I think a person deserves a 3rd or even 4th chance. I believe this because a person deserves another chance when that person realizes all the mistakes, all the pain he/she has caused. Talk with him, communicate the fears of what you will face in your future and if you can talk problems out with him. Not run away, but be willing to face each and everyday together. If he doesn't want to talk about it, or isn't willing to compromise, accommodate and learn and love you. Then I'd say try someone new. Someone who will appreciate you. I never wanted to do any of those things, and my EX found someone who cherishes her and appreciates her in everyway. Who treats her right and most likely communicates their problems to each other. In the end, your EX husband will know that he missed out on the greatest thing in the world. Cause I know I have.

Hello everyone, it's been 9 months now since my EX (of 2.5 years) and I broke up. Still hurts everyday, still think about her everyday, still think about what could/should have been everyday. I'm currently 27, we met when I was 24, she was 21. We had an amazingly close and loving relationship, but I made too many mistakes and in the end, she started dating another guy not even 2 weeks after we ended it and 5 months later moved in with him. Wow does it hurt the feeling of being so worthless to your partner of 2.5 years that she could just move in with another guy in such a little time. Well my question is this: Do first loves ever survive? She was my very first long term relationship. Does a person really know what love is like or what love is if they have never been in love before? They say having something then losing it is one of the ways a person will learn to appreciate what they have. I never appreciated her, neglected her, but also showed her a great deal of love. Now that I've lost her though, I realize that I had the best thing, the most perfect thing. Hurts a lot knowing you may have lost the greatest thing to come into your life ever. They also say you never forget your first love, and yes I'll never forget her, but doesn't a person deserve another chance maybe even a third or fourth chance after realizing all of their mistakes? After realizing they want to spend the rest of their life with the other and making her happy forever?

I know what you're going through. I went through a insanely traumatic breakup in early Feb. I started seeing a psychiatrist almost immediately and was questioned about my work by my boss. I told him the story and luckily, he was sympathetic. I'm still completely heartbroken now and I still think about her everyday and it's been 8 months now. About 3 months after I told my boss, I was still very depressed and he gave me a verbal warning. Yes, it's not fair for you, but personal problems aside, we still have our jobs to do. Not sure how close you are with your boss, but if you aren't that close just tell him that personal problems have come up and you're dealing with it. If you are close, maybe he will understand. Either way, good luck. I'm still wondering when she'll come back.

Hello everyone I've posted a few times on how I lost the most perfect woman ever to come into my life. She was my first relationship, and I've heard that first relationships almost never survive. Is this because the person who's first relationship it is doesn't know what it's like to be in love or to have a broken heart? "You love, you make mistakes, you learn and you love again." This is what my EX told me in an email 5 months after we broke up. She started dating someone 2 weeks after we broke up and moved in with him 5 months later. I made a lot of mistakes and I didn't realize how much I loved her or how much she meant to me until she left. I know it was all my fault and I'll never be able to forgive myself for hurting her and losing her. It was an amazing relationship, but I messed it up. I know I'll never meet somebody as sweet, as beautiful and nice as her ever again. I've got a lot of reasons why I won't, but I won't bore you with the details. My question is, how does one move on after they know that they've ruined their life? That someone like her will never come along again? I've learned so much from this and yes, I'd like to show her and give her everything she ever wanted, but I know now that it will never happen. I've thought so much about not living anymore....people say she's not worth it. But she is. How does one just forget about another after everything they had been through? I have so much to be thankful for, and I had it all with her. But I've lost all the will to live now that she's gone, and I'm pretty sure she's never coming back. Pretty sure I'll never speak or see her again. How does one move on after ruining their life?

Hey mikeyc I'm in the same situation you're in. My EX and I broke up in late January of 2003. I still lay in bed thinking about her and wake up thinking about her before I go to work everyday and night. I even dreamed about crying my heart out to her mother last night. She started seeing another guy 2 weeks after we broke up and 5 months later has moved in with him. We always had an amazing relationship, but I neglected her and took my friends over her. It was all my fault that the relationship ended. I was even the one who broke it off with her. It was my first long term relationship, so I'd like to think it was immaturity and inexperience... I've sent her a lot of emails pouring my heart out and promising her the world. Nothing would have ever been the same, but she's been hurt too many times by me and won't even acknowledge that I exist anymore. I love her so much., and my family loves her so much too. My father taught her how to drive, and my mom loved her with all her heart. It's been 6 months now, and I still can't get over her. I've seen pyschologists, taken medication for the depression, received a warning from work because of the depression and every day I still look at our pictures and think about her every single minute of the day. I wish things could have been different because she was the most perfect angel and I couldn't see it because of my own stupidity. I hope you're alright mikeyc, I've thought a lot about suicide....a friend even suggested getting hypnotized. I don't think I'll ever get over this, I don't want to live without her. There's nothing I can tell you other than I know what your pain feels like man. I hope you are stronger than me and can get over this, cause I don't know how long I'll be able to hang on myself. Good luck.

Hey everyone Well, I'm sure some of you have already read my problems. Long and short of it was that I neglected my perfectly angelic girlfriend of 2.5 years broke it off with her and then she started dating a guy 2 weeks later and now is living with him after only 5 months. This was 6 months ago and the pain is even worse than it was 6 months ago. Anyways, my question is: Does a person really know what love is until their first break up? I mean, she was my first relationship and the first person I have ever been with intimately. I never experienced a pain like this before and I want to give her everything and more that she gave me in the relationship. But she's pretty much made up her mind and I'm pretty sure I'll never see her again even though we had an amazingly great 2.5 years. Yes, I've learned from this experience. I've learned a great deal from it actually and some me is happy that it's happened, or I never would have realized what she was to me. I'm really think it was because of my inexperience, immaturity and selfishness.....but doesn't everyone deserve a chance after feeling this way? This was our 3rd break up, 2 by me, once by her. I know it sounds bad that it was 3 but they were really just a couple of day breaks... What happens when you think that you can't live anymore without her. I'm pretty confident that I'll never know someone let alone date someone that was as sweet and caring, do anything for me and the most special person on the face of the earth. So what happens now? Now that you wake up every single day thinking about her. Go to sleep every night and lay in bed for an hour or two just dreaming what you had and what could have been? What happens when you don't want to live at all without her?