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cloe

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  1. cloe
    Post-breakup (about a month) I started being more careful about what time I took my pill. For the past 5-6 months, I was pretty moody and uncomfortable; needed LOTS of reassurance. I'd been taking my pill anytime from 9pm - 2am. I never had any physical problems from this but you are supposed to take the pill at the same time every day. Since I have started taking the pills at the same time, I have noticed a difference. It's difficult to pinpoint because I've obviously been going through a lot emotionally over the last month, but I do feel less stressed and less reactionary; I'm more patient and less hurried. I think that is not all coincidence. But I agree; I don't think the pill has a direct effect on relationships but if you and the girl are not prepared to handle the possible physical/emotional changes, THAT can affect your relationship.
  2. cloe
    It's good to be prepared for what you're going to say or react when she calls. The more ready you are, the less likely you are to fall into any "traps" or end up doing things you really don't want to do. Keep it up, you deserve a girl who appreciates you for who you are.
  3. cloe
    Thanks and just be prepared in case she does contact you. Be ready for the rush of emotions and be cautious. Intentions get so muddled by emotion. Take care.
  4. cloe
    I believe she may have been feeling you out. Maybe it was a single weak moment, but maybe she's been having these moments every now and then and maybe they've become more frequent. Or maybe she's feeling bad about herself and it would make her feel better to know that you are still interested. Basically it is either about you or about her, probably not about you two together. Good luck to you!
  5. cloe
    Kudos for being strong. I've broken down and called my ex 2 times now. And I've never done that before. Ever. Struggling with whether that means that I loved him that much or if it's because I feel more responsible for this break up than the other 2 long term boyfriends I had or if it's just that I'm older and it's more difficult to adjust. Overanalyzing is my new full time job. Anyhow, keep it up and you should be proud of yourself that you have come this far in such a short period of time. Just don't beat yourself up if and when you break down and have bad days. I did very well the first week, had 1 bad day the second week and this the third week, I've had about 4 bad days. Yesterday being one. Just keep your chin up and forgive yourself for feeling weak or pain. It's OK to; if you avoid it, it may not "hurt" as much but I think you will feel uncomfortable - not ready to move on - for longer. Take care
  6. cloe
    I'm sorry for my ignorance if someone has already said this, but I didn't see it. It sure sounds like she's giving you just enough to keep you in her power. She is probably scared to let you go because you symbolize comfort and reality to her. But it's not fair to you since you have feelings for her. It's so easy to say, so hard to do, but move on. It's OK to be single. And it's OK to date, without looking for a mate. Decide what your limits are; maybe you don't have sex or spend too many hours/too many dates a week (so as to be careful not to just fall into another relationship) but go out there, rediscover yourself. That way if she does come back to you, you will be a better person and ready to accept her or whoever, into your life. I hope you are able to do what's right for you; whatever that is and know that whatever your decision, it's ultimately yours and it's OK. Even if others disagree. Just try not to compromise yourself, you deserve real love, like the love you have for her.
  7. cloe
    I kind of got that feeling while I was reading your post and when I saw those words it took me aback a bit. You have been through a lot and it sounds like you are being very rational and healthy about this. It's OK to hurt so much after a short time. Sometimes you fall in love in 5 minutes, sometimes it takes years. I think NC is best; especially if you think there is a chance for the future. You didn't mention why you two decided to part, but sometimes people have to stretch away to come back to you. If you come back to them too soon, they continue to stretch away and it becomes a chase. As you said though, maybe it will not work out and you do have to prepare for both. Be strong but be true and feel the feelings you need to to heal. Don't be discouraged. Hang in there! You know, I'm very new to this and I'm going through a very tough time too, but it's been healing for me to read others' stories and to hopefully be able to help them with a glimmer of hope. I hope that's not being narcissistic but it is a good feeling to be able to encourage someone else to be strong and feel loved especially when you youself need to be strong and feel loved. Take care
  8. cloe
    I think it's also important and fair to discuss ground rules if you will. I mean, you need space, that means that you need space to think of your relationship? Are you going to date other people? I don't really understand the nature of your *break* but it might be a good idea to decide together that you won't sleep with anyone else until you know for sure which direction you two are heading (back together or apart). Just be true to yourself and your heart. Think things through but try not to overanalyze and overthink; things get really confusing then. It's OK to protect yourself but keep it into perspective; make sure you're feeling what you really feel and not what you think you should. Good luck!
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