IrishClover

Just a quick response...i haven't been on here for awhile but when i read your post it reminded me of my ex-bf that i just dumped....not to sound harsh, but your gf probably tells you she doesn't care that you go to strip clubs, but it's odd for that gf to not be offended...it's kind of rude, i think, for you to enjoy yourself like that without her....if you keep in contact with past lovers/ex-gf's...you're going to be digging yourself in to a hole...my ex-bf told me he wanted to get married and behind my back, he was talking to ex-gf's...telling them about our problems and then posting information about us online for the world to see...if you love her as much as you say you do, maybe you should let her go...if you're not truly happy with her, then you should say so...any guy who spends his spare time at strip clubs getting lap dances doesn't deserve a good gf.

1 -- 22, White, Pursuing my degree for now. 2 -- 1 serious relationship which lasted a total of about 2.5 years, in 1 now about 7 months, only dated a few in between. 3 -- 1 person 4 -- in the next 2-3 years 5 -- no 6 -- have not 7 -- kind of scared of the idea, not sure i'm ready to be all "grown up" yet.

communication is very important in a relationship, so i would have to say that's it's a lot harder to just meet someone you're attracted to and assume that the communication is just going to work...usually it's a good friend you start to fall for because you can relate to that person on many levels...having been in both situations, i have to say that being with a friend on a romantic level is much more exciting than being initially attracted to someone and finding out 6 months later you still can't communicate with them like you want.

Once again, I agree with Annie -- consider it gone...just go out and re-buy the things you really can't live without...it'll be hard for awhile to do the same things alone that you did with the bf or go places...especially near his area without feeling some emotional pain, so the best way to get over it, is to just leave it all in the past. Even if you have the relative or friend pick up the stuff, i bet you'd still wonder and ask them if "he" said anything and may lead to misinterpretation of his behavior...i say just leave it.

Everyone matures at a different age... the word "Love" is a little intimidating to say when describing how you feel about someone and i don't believe that 5 months later, is really a longtime to have waited and not heard those 3 words from your boyfriend just yet. He may be inexperienced with dating in general, or is just not ready to make things "serious" just yet. Maybe he has a difficult time expressing his feelings so don't push the words to come out, but i'd say if in another 2-3 months, your boyfriend cannot tell you that he loves you, maybe it's not the right relationship for you. Have a talk with him then and tell him what you need to hear to know he cares, if he can't offer that, you should know your answer.

Filmraven -- I went through a guy similar to this twice (same guy), and i know this is a saying you must hear over and over again, but "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"....i unfortunately took the idiot back so that was my fault. Although it may not feel like it now, just be relieved that this jerk had ended the relationship. You do not deserve such treatment from someone that you care about. Someone is bound to come along who will just knock your socks off. It always comes when you're not looking (a great guy that is) so in the meantime, i agree with annie...give yourself a couple of days, but then make yourself busy and definitely do NOT take any of his phone calls. He'll look back one of these days and realize he messed up...you can't let him have you back. It'll be okay Filmraven.

i agree with muneca, it's not right for her to do something she knows you're uncomfortable about. It's a little odd to me that she likes to spend so much time with him (on the phone and sending text messages) and even more odd that they're staying in the same hotel. I know you have suggested you go with her, but she apparently wants to go alone. I think it's great that you say you have never stopped her from doing what she really wants, but i think this is a little beyond "normal" for her to think it's no big deal. I would appreciate your concern as a girlfriend and would respect that concern, maybe you should question if you really want to keep dating her.

I'm sure it's not your physical appearance that changes things. Since you have met these women all online, you're right, there should be no surprises as you said your picture is there for them to see. However, at the same time, sometimes the women that you meet online have had trouble finding men themselves and suffer slightly from low self-esteem. Perhaps they find something you say or do (facial expression) that makes them think you're not that interested in them and then without a kiss at the end assures this for them or unfortunately it could be that there's something that reminds them of a past relationship and find maybe they're not ready to date just anybody. Hmm, maybe that helps a little?

I don't agree with Metallic. I met a friend of mine 2 years ago and didn't think I'd have feelings for him beyond a great friendship, then he left on active duty overseas. I fell completely in love with him on his leave (when he came back to the U.S.) and have been emailing and talking on the phone since. He turned out to be the greatest guy in the world and lucky for me comes home in a few weeks... i went through a few uninteresting relationships and never knew i'd be so lucky...your boyfriend will be under a contract for a few years, but may never have to go overseas ... i say give it a try ... i'm not sure how long he will be gone, but it would just be awful to give up now when you haven't given it a chance ... don't break his heart ...at least not without giving it some time..

I would say that it's the fact that he's depressed about having to stay home when you claim he's very athletic and usually full of energy. But on the other hand, for him to say, "Why should I say it if I don't feel it," in regards to if he loves you or not, that's just really rude. As hard as it is, I wouldn't even attempt to talk to him for a little bit. If he is on some type of medication, it would explain the crankiness, but i think his comments to you were just really rude. If you baby him when he's acting like this, he's less likely to appreciate you as his girlfriend, i agree with annie, just distance yourself from him.

I could never cheat on anyone to begin with because I would just feel too guilty and for sure it would probably show, but I had an ex-bf that I think did. I never will probably know for sure because he's a coward, but I too learned through an old friend that he supposedly cheated on me. I just don't see how being that he couldn't even ask me out in the first place in person ... he sent a text message... i don't know, kind of lame if you ask me.

She must be aware of your situation already i'm assuming, leaving for boot camp, but i don't think you should break up with her knowing that you two are great together. My boyfriend is overseas right now and I have not seen him for 6 months. I realize your situation is much different than mine but our relationship could not be stronger. When you leave keep in contact by phone/e-mail for awhile, she should let you know if she can't handle the distance. Every once in awhile you get lucky and find someone really amazing, so at the very least, let it last until the end of the school year and let her decide then what you two should do and be sure to keep in contact.