mazxs

No my X g/f gran died in the same week as my sister tried to kill her self. I go so wrecked, having to choose between the two. I'm thinking abot sending her a gift box. A box with her fav film (Heathers) a winnie the pooh figure and some of her favourite soaps, the one that i used to buy for her when we where together. What do u think?

Hi everyone, it's been a long time. Since i spoke to you all. Been away. Where to start!. mmm My Ex g/f ( Call her D for point of referance) dumped me back in Nov 03. After hving to choose between my sister and her. My sister had tried to comit suicide,after having an abortion (not much of a choice. have child and possibly die. Or have abortion and live) and my ex g/f was her gran died. Had to chosse between the two. Well my x was got engaged to this other bloke, but that stopped like 6 months in to their so called relationship. She has since been with 1 other bloke who just used her for sex, and then dumped her. I found this out from my friends and some of hers, telling me what happened to her. So it's been 19 months since we where together (but hay who's counting Right. This it the main problem. I'm still in love with her It's not just because of the fear of being alone. I have had a few dates. Nothing major. My problem is that i can't seam to D out of my head. Still so much in love with her.? She still ask's my friends, if i'm ok, and how i'm doing at my job, family and my health are. The quick question is do i still have a chance of having her back in my life. As i still dream, and long for her to be with me? DO I CALL Her, ask her out for coffee? Or what. Any suggestions please.

Hi folk's is mazxs here with an update. Please read all my other posts for the beginning. Well i wrote my ex a letter few weeks back putting all my feelings in to it, everything that i was scared of everything this made me hide the truth from her, by the time i wrote it took me 3-4 hours (7 pages of A4 size pad)a very long letter in deed. Telling her my faults, what i was scaed of, should of done things differently, putting all my heart and soul in to it. Well one week later i get about 5 text messages on my phone two missed calls (no vioce messages left). All reply's welcome... Next day found another two text's saying that she's worried about me and that she still cares for me. So the next day she called me again, but this time i picked up the phone, she was asking if i was ok, and that she was worried about me. I told her i could not talk about things like this on the phone and that i could only talk to her face to face. I told her i would meet up with her Tusday night after she finished work about 5-30 pm. So Tuesday comes along and we go to a pub have a meal ( i paid), we talked about me and her, saying her what fault's i had, the resasons or being cold sometimes, looking in her eyes just talking straight from my heart. We then went to another pub, talked loads more, talked how i felt about her, that i still loved her, at this point she was crying. Telling her that she is the only woman for me, and no matter what happens i'm her for her, she cried again. She told me about her fiance (the 20 yrd old kid, still at college) who likes to cut himself. She said if she left him he WOULD KILL HIMSELF. Hearing that got me so scared... She told me if thing where simplier then, thing would be different. I don't know what that really means. She cried again (this night she did all the crying not me). I told her about my gran wedding ring, which she gave it to my mum to give to me when i found the woman that i love and want to marry and to give it to her, she cried again. At one point she she walked away crying, i stood behind her holding her saying don't cry, you know you love me, she said yeah, i then said don't worry i'm her for you, please don't cry.Which she cried some more. I told her no matter what happeneds i'm here for you ok, which she replied yeah i know. So we talked more, about how much she means to me, that she is the only woman that i will ever love this much, the only one that has stolen my heart. I asked her you know that i love you, yes she said, i said you know i'm serious about. That i love you and i always will,yes she replied, at that point i was sitting down, she stood up and gave me a hug, i could hear her crying again. I hugged her back, saying i'm her for you girl, not matter what, i'm here for you. She sat back down again, i put my hands out and she grabbed them both, and gave them a tight squeeze (does that mean anything?). So we talked for about 5-6 hours we where both tired. We shared a taxi back to her place then dropping her of then my place, whilst the taxi was on her way to her place. she held my hand again. Both said goodnight. Where going to a pub first for a few bud's then off to a cinema (seeing Shrek 2) this saturday night, just as mates though. Then a pub after wards i hope for a chat and a bit of a dance. I've cut down on my drinking binge's...under control. I'm so scared.. right now. Don't want to lose her, heart is racing right now. Ps she's chatting to me on MSN, she always does the first contact/chat.

On saturday night she texted my mobile like 5 times in one night asking if i was ok, she called my phone twice, i left my phone at home was at a club with some mates getting drunk . so next day (sunday) i found all these messages on my phone. saying that she was worried about me and that she stil cares for me, do i go and see her or not? Monday found another text message on my phone to call her because she was worried about me. Well she called me Tuesday, and now i meeting her tonite, i just don't know what to say to her? I'm so scared of losing her, how can/could she get so enaged to this kid( she's 24, he's 20 still at college, for another year. He's about a 2 hrs drive away from each other (neither of them have a car so they use trains) one of her girlfriends told me all this). i love her with al my broken heart, i know she's the one for me. there's no other girl in the world that i would want to spend the rest of my life with. i don't understand how she could find one else so fast, get engeged, and not try to she that love her. for the rest of my life see my post by mazxs

i know ho you feel. my ex and split december last year 2003. last weekend 27 june she got engaged to some 20 yr old kid, she 25 and i'm here crying my eyes out over her still. i love her so much. check out my post, you will see what i'm going through. People tell me to hang in there. it so hard. But stay, ok.

My ex g/f of 4 years got engaged to a bloke she only known for 3 month. I Have so pain in my soul My heart is broken, I miss her so much, she is (was) my flame that burned, my sun that shone, She's got engaged this Sunday 27/06/04 and I'm here crying. She knows that I love her, why did I screw up my only love that I have ever felt, I can't see myself getting pass her, she's in my dream and in my soul. Every time I close my eyes she there. her face, her smell, her warmth, my heartbeats for her. Do I wait for her to see that I love her, I can't leave her, I miss holding her, laughing together, talking about us and what we where going to do with our lives, why did she leave, why did I leave her and choose my sister, I want to die, my life is nothing with out her, god I miss her, I love her so much. No one will ever come close her. I can't get over her, I cry so much, it been 6 month since I held in my arms telling her that I love her. Why did she not see that my sister shocked (she had an abortion and tried to kill her self) me so much, that I was not thinking, mentally drained and scared she was going to die, why did I leave her when she need me the most (her gran died in the same month) why does my life suck, what's the point? How can I win her, how can I show her that I love her, and no matter what she does (i.e. gets engaged, I asked her if she was going to get married and she said No, doesn't want to get married. So why is she getting engaged?) I still love her. I feel her in my heart so much. I have tried the N/C but she still sends me emails asking me if I'm ok, and that I should enjoy life, she says that she does love me but only as a friend. How can she say that she loves me that hurts my soul so much, I love her and I want to be with her? Why does this pain hurt so much, why did I have to fall in love, why? I know she the one, no else in the world that I want to be with more that her. Is there i she could come back to me? Is there any way i could get her back. Please reply. I need some adive so badly.

sorry to hear that my friend. read my post >still missing my ex g/fshe getting engaged in 2 days i to have my heart broken, i too cry at night with the loss.

My heart is broken, I miss her so much, she is (was) my flame that burned, my sun that shone, She's getting engaged this Sunday 27/06 and I'm here crying. She knows that I love her, why did I screw up my only love that I have ever felt, I can't see myself getting pass her, she's in my dream and in my soul. Every time I close my eyes she there. her face, her smell, her warmth, my heartbeats for her. Do I wait for her to see that I love her, I can't leave her, I miss holding her, laughing together, talking about us and what we where going to do with our lives, why did she leave, why did I leave her and choose my sister, I want to die, my life is nothing with out her, god I miss her, I love her so much. No one will ever come close her. I can't get over her, I cry so much, it been 6 month since I held in my arms telling her that I love her. Why did she not see that my sister shocked (she had an abortion and tried to kill her self) me so much, that I was not thinking, mentally drained and scared she was going to die, why did I leave her when she need me the most (her gran died in the same month) why does my life suck, what's the point? How can I win her, how can I show her that I love her, and no matter what she does (i.e. gets engaged, I asked her if she was going to get married and she said No, doesn't want to get married. So why is she getting engaged?) I still love her. I feel her in my heart so much. I have tried the N/C but she still sends me emails asking me if I'm ok, and that I should enjoy life, she says that she does love me but only as a friend. How can she say that she loves me that hurts my soul so much, I love her and I want to be with her? Why does this pain hurt so much, why did I have to fall in love, why? I know she the one, no else in the world that I want to be with more that her.

i love is to burn, then the fire must be ignited. She loves you then go, don't let true love fail. Do it slowly, but do it well.

my ex g/f left me, last december 03 after i heard that my sister had an abortion and tried to killer self, I was so messed up that i had to go and check on my sister, i told my g/f that i be back in a few weeks. She sent me (in December) an text to my mobile saying that she found someone else. That was 6 months ago and next week 27/06/04 she getting engaged to this bloke. I'm here crying my gut out because i love her so much and that i want to be back with her. Check out my post (still missing my ex g/f) by mazxs

this is mazxs. thanks for your replys. I wish I could find all the words to describe how low i'm feeling, it been like 5 months almost 6. i still think about her and how much i want to hold her, but i can't. i love her so much i fell so stupid, all my friends just say that i have to be kept busy do things, go out see people and stuff like that, but all i can think about is being with her. i saw her in town today, but i don't think she saw me, she was by herself and with new love bite on her neck . so i all i can think about is her being with this kid (he's only 20) and them having sex together and stuff like that which, is really getting me down. i do try and put her out off my head but it does not seam to go away.. i had my scan in february. got some spot's came up on my xray . i wanted her to be with me, but she said she could not make it, i felt so gutted, i was sitting in the examination room crying my eyes out. i had to take these pills to kill of the growth cells. i had to do it all by myself, i just could not tell my friends how bad i was doing, mentally and physically. I took my pills and it got all cleared up, felt like crap through the whole thing (being sick etc). i Just wanted her to hug me and tell me things are going to be ok, but she was not there, i missed her so much. i just did not want live with out her, i called her up, crying on the phone saying how sorry i was for leaving her like that and not being there for her, and that i had to go and see my sister (read my first post). and how i have changed and i would spend the rest of our lives together doing things like travel and stuff. But when i saw her today with those love bite on her neck, i just went home and cried, it getting so heavy, trying not to think about her and this kid. It her birthday in June what do i do, send her a card, flowers or nothing. My friend just say that i sould just send her a card keep it plain and simple. I was going so send her load of flowers, like what they do in film and fill her house with them, but my friend thats stupid a bit overboard. I fell it what i should do but, i don't know. Should i reply to her emails or not just not talk to her, txt her call her. I'm feeling like so stupid, just crying all the time. Missing her with a big hole and all those years with her just gone, and i have this emptyness in my life. i'm just crying typing this post to you know, but thanks for your reply i will try and hold on. (i have ben having these really dark nasty thoughts of not living anymore, i 'm hoping i don't do anything stupid. she sent me an email saying that she is getting engaged to this kid and that she's happy, and we can only be "friends" as she put's it. What does that mean "friends" i'm getting so lost. I'd never had feelings like this for a girlfriend before, i wish all pain would just stop. thanks for your reply, i need all the help i can get, so thank you. i miss her so much..