-trapped-soul-

When I told my friends they thought it was some kind of joke, they ditched me laughing and joking around saying "look at me im sam, lets kill myself!" i lost all my friends because of that... but think in ten years time you wont even know them... they will just be forgotten, you can live your life, to the fullest... if you ever need to talk to someone add me email removed i would always love to talk to someone... sam,

thanks guys soo much, i feel so much more comfortable about this now...

cool... thanks, i personally dont find anyone from my school that i would kiss and next years high school... cant wait there will be heaps more faces... thanks to you all!

im 12 years old and the only kiss i have ever had was through spin the bottle... what i wanted to know is it getting too late... when did you guys have your first kiss... am i getting left behind?

i went to a sleep over party and me and a girl slept next to each other and we were texting each other with ehr mobile even though we were sleeping right next to each other... she wrote in her texts things like... "good night sammy" and "Sweet dreams" and "aww ur so sweet" wat i want to know is what does all this mean...

giggling... and i think that when they chase you lol thats sooo cute! or or or when they go 'awwww' to you lol... plenty more but thats the best...

life sucks... but you sound like a very very nice guy... dont let school take your life like that... i know school can be hard, but think you dont know whats going to happen in twenty years from now... you could be rich have a wife and kids... you cant give up all hope because of school... and anyway... by your typing it sounds like youre a smart guy, very nice and could take on the world... i hope you understand you do have people around the world as your friends... all of these enotalone people theyre here for you... i am here for you... i hope you pick wisely... your friend sam...

Hey guys, Sorry I havent posted lately lol forgot about the thread... Hey look Im feeling a tad better now which is great I guess! I have a very supportive online friend (thoe only REAL friend) I know of. She helped me alot. her names alex or in other words my sis... I love her to pieces! and am soo happy I have met her... I just wanted to add, and this is an issuethat disturbs me much... but my dad seems to be how would you say ignoring me er well not ignoring but lately I havent been up and about and dads been hating that... he thinks im "differant" from other kids. I find that hard to cope I mean hes my own dad and yet he acts so much differant... its not a big issue not to worry lol... I am feeling a little better since my last post and thats all that matters... my skys are blue for now so I'll take that chance and enjoy thank you alot neva_black_n_white for helping me with that... it made me reliase people do care and thank god for that LOL until next time thanks

Hi... I have been trying to keep my smile up for you but that will probably come later on. I have never been as close as I wanted to to my parents and mum and me would normally end up insulting each other. at a young age dad hit me and my brother real hard with a 2 by 4 piece of wood. We were always getting in fights and then one day I couldnt handle them anymore and then my friends started ditching me for my enemy all 4 of them. I was puicked on for being a "loner" and with no one around that cared for me I simply found it too hard to cope. I strted hurting myself screaming and crying. I was always a straight-up christian and loved god but I found he did nothing to me I prayed and prayed and prayed every night and cried almost every night so I gave up in god to. Now all my friends are on the otherside of the world sitting behind computers. Wll not all of them are friends one of them wants me to die he goes "just go no one wants you on this planet anyway!!!" now I look to enotalone to help me out. I dont want to tell my parents when they found out that I was depressed they didnt know I was suicidal but depressed mum says "alright get in your room and youre not coming down!" I am now getting tired of this and I have even had a couple of dreams of me dying..I tell myself to hurt myself and I want to live in peace and quiet Thanks for everything Sam xxx

hey! I have msn and lack friends I have added you to my msn messenger so we can talk take care...

I do follow that exactly one thing I said to myself about god was "why have a god who picks on you like that...may as well believe in satin" I just want it over sometimes...and I do know what it feels like thanks though for the help... sam xxx

trying to live, trying to breathe, feel so nieve, to Think I could have trusted you, to think I couldve been friends, both us two... caught in my fury, defending to my personal jury, caught in your web, trying to breathe, feel so nieve, to have trusted you, to think of us two, it wasnt at all new, it had happened before, you slammed the door, you should have heard me roar! hang me with your noose, make sure it aint loose, kill me like a sorry goose, til my vains turn, til my heart, it burns, i know you, its all no big concern, what matters the most, is im dead, my red blood, it feeds the earth. like a memorable new birth, caught in my fury, defending to my personal jury, caught in your web, trying to breathe, feel so nieve, to have trusted you, to think of us two, it wasnt at all new, it had happened before, you slammed the door, you should have heard me roar! you all saw, my life it flashed so quick, it all, it all makes me sick! let my blood fill my grave, dont let me be saved, im a mortal sick human to you, it all means nothing to you too!

sometimes I believe god ppunishes me he tortures me he picks on me and I am a christian and prayed almost every night nothing happened he tortures me to the point I no longer follow him in christianity he doesnt help, I dont even believe in him he just lets the rain wash me!

very food to hear...

I really like this girl even though I never see nor talk with her and thats what gets me so annoyed I dont have the nerves to go up to her...she plays with the snobby type of people and I have spoken to her before but I need a smooth and easy way where I can simply get from A to B not A to Z...thank you guys

it does depend on what the type of boy is. some people like differant types, I myself like the whispering in the ear and that type of silent moving lol, but U am no genius on this at all hope it works for ya

I have been browsing the kiss section and came accross this, believe me we played spin the bottle and my friend joseph his crush was there but she didnt like him. He was really annoyed at us all cause we all ended up geting to kiss her except for him. In the end he did kiss her and what'd you know thwy like each other lots now. I agree keep it cool and relax dont make a big impression i have done it and it doesnt go very far...believe me, good luck and hope it works Sam

sorry to hear and I know life does suck majorly, do oyu have msn messenger you can add email removed to your contacts and we can talk more, I dont know exactly the whole situation but it doesnt sound good at all, especially the eating thing please I urge you to have something no matter what please have something to eat... are oyu close to your parents? if oyu are tell them the situation I am not close to mine so I dont tell them I did tell my friends though they think its weird. They do normally joke aoubt it and tease me I dont see what the problem is with people who are depressed they seem to hate us! I am so sorry about all of this and so hope ot gets better... Sam xxx

the things that get me angry are all of my friends all of my relatives, all of the people around me and alot of it is myself, I just guess I wasnt expecting a reply like that and when it happened I immediately thought that you thought I was a strange person so I decided to retaliate, sorry. and the fact that I get in sooooo many fights at school I dont always be as nice to peopel as I would like to. And when I wrote the thingy "what are you guys on about, I dont get you!" well I didnt get your first paragraph but when you mentioned that you added me to msn and that I probably wouldnt like it because of what you had said I initially thought you had said something horrible aobut me. Also Guitar* Girls simple "waa waa waa" I didnt get either and alot of things but am so sorry for any misconveniance Sam xxx

sorry sorry sorry! alright I am just too annoyed to be happy at the moment and am sorry if I hurt you, in which I probably did but I did NOT mean to, I am not in the mood to be happy and I tend to take it out on people sometimes....sorry for anything that I have done to you and I cant blame you for shouting at me back...good on you take care and am terribly sorry, Sam xxx

and also what do oyu mean brush past these people I read over and over each topic see what they tell me! and to believe that I am ignoring them frustrates me alot

thanks for the help people, please anyone can add me to my new msn address: email removed thankyou all xxx, Sam

now...theres not an awful amount I can do I suffer it too I am not AS much into killing myself more into hurting myself and bringing pain...I didnt have time to read through all of this but by what they have replied about it says to me people do care they wouldnt reply otherwise they did reply cause you needed help and they were there beside you. I dont know exactly every little thing about you but you do matter to the world to me and to alot of people without you it just wouldnt be the same and for 1 thing I dont want you to go, you have a life ahead of you , you can travel accross the world and meet new friends in other countries, get married and everything...My parents have a problem with favouring and I dont like it either man... You are an important person you might not no what makes you important but you do matter and you do have friends out there...and I will support that factor...please dont go through this you have so much ahead of you more than ever. Your best years to come will be soon and before you know it you will love it, are you willing to throw that all away? we all at enotalone want you here, your parents may say that but I am very very sure that if you were to pass on they would be crying and crying, I also know that even though Ia m on the otherside of the world I would be hurt and I would cry. What you end up doing will be the write way for you but think about all those peopel who would be hurt by it. Please look out there keep your chin up and explore lifes mysteries the best awaits for you, if you would like to contact me please do so at email removed we can catch up and become good friends and later on I can meet you...we are all here for you bro take care and have fun xxx, Sam

I hear you and am terribly sorry to hear it....my friends well yeah friends phht, they dont like the fact about it and joke around on it alot...whether or not they think I am stupid or looking for the light or god knows what but I hate it and even worse I have been in fights with so many peope alot of htem dont like me anymore...going to school is an ugly chore for em and I hate it. I am so sorry to hear about it and I dont like it either but I am so so so so so so sorry i cant help cause I myself suffer hte same thing and cant fix it...please if you have msn add me or I'll add you we can become friends I would love that! talk to you later friend xxx

one last thing, I dont think Ia m the one with skitzofreenic. You have offended me in more ways then one! if you dont have something nice to say then dont say at all....its really what I needed