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Thread: EX Girlfriend and Social Media advice

  1. #1
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    EX Girlfriend and Social Media advice

    Hello I have a long story about my 4 year break up that I ended (I won't share all the details now) I want to focus on one current issue happening --> (SOCIAL MEDIA EXPOSURE)

    The break up ended bad, i broke it off and blocked her for a month. Post & during breakup, we were not living in the same city. A month later, I missed her and decided to reconnect with her and stay as friends...but my ultimate goal was to have hope on getting back together.

    My Ex barely used social media and almost never posts on IG Story. During our break up period, I knew she was going out having fun. But she never posted anything on Instagram Story.

    After i reconnected with her, we spoke casually as friends. It did annoy me 2 weeks later at one point how she wasn't putting effort in trying to win me back (even though when we first connected she did say she still loved me and wanted to come see me face to face to talk about us). When i confronted her about that, she kept saying why are you pressuring me.. i read online advice and realized pouring emotions to EX is kind of a turn off. I regretted and decided not to have reactions.

    Moving on to my main question: POSTING STORIES ON SOCIAL MEDIA

    Suddenly, after we reconnected, she started to post so many stories of herself biking/at the beach/swim suits - she never did that. We've been all over the world & adventures..she never posts, because she really doesn't care about social media.

    I'm viewing the stories (and she can see that) but I'm not commenting or bringing it up during texts. My analyzation is that she is probably trying to test me, or maybe make me jealous, or trying to get a reaction from me to see if I've changed.


    Here's the question: Should I continue viewing her stories normally and stay quiet OR should I stop viewing them completely?


    -bare in mind, we're not EXs who are not talking.. we are... and planning a face to face talk soon. Thank you Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
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    I think it's not your attention she's seeking with these posts.

    It sounds like she might be fishing for another guy and hoping he views her stories.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I think it's not your attention she's seeking with these posts.

    It sounds like she might be fishing for another guy and hoping he views her stories.
    i doubt that is the action. I'm her first boyfriend and she isn't the type that goes with guys just easily, she was very hard to get. In our culture, it's not just easy to date or hookup.

    She has just graduated from the US and moved back home, where she does not have any male friends, and barely any girlfriends.

  4. #4
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    Whatever case, I don't think she's that interested in getting back together, mike.

    Her behaviour isn't that of a woman who really wants to keep you in her life.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Whatever case, I don't think she's that interested in getting back together, mike.

    Her behaviour isn't that of a woman who really wants to keep you in her life.
    I haven't explained all my story. But basically, my EX relied on me so much. I've taken care of her more than her family. When I first reconnected with her post-break up. We briefly talked. She did say that

    "I was always on her mind"
    "she didn't know how to reach out by text because she messed up and was afraid"
    "she was waiting to fly back home so she could meet me first thing and talk"
    "I'm the one that she loves" etc...

    I'm just getting so many mixed signals and need to figure out how to deal with them.

  7. #6
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    And yet... you're still broken up. She still isn't the one driving this face-to-face talk - that's been you. She's been putting you off and avoiding you.

    I know it hurts but you need to face reality, and not assume her social media activity has anything to do with you.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    And yet... you're still broken up. She still isn't the one driving this face-to-face talk - that's been you.

    I know it hurts but you need to face reality, and not assume her social media activity has anything to do with you.
    She just got back home. She said she would be coming in the next week or 2.

  9. #8
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    Mixed signals are not good.
    If she was interested in reconciliation there would be no signals but clear and concise facts.

    She is home??? Like in close vicinity? Yet can’t come see you and says she will in the next week or 2?

    That suggests strongly that she has moved on. As does her changed habits of Instagram posts.

    You mention culture as being a reason not to easily date , but she doesn’t care about culture because bikini shots doesn’t fit with that.

    Perhaps you expect her to fit into a perceived picture but she doesn’t.

    You were “annoyed” she didn’t try to win you back???
    Can you please elaborate on that? Why would she want to? What did you have to offer her that would want her to to try??

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    Mixed signals are not good.
    If she was interested in reconciliation there would be no signals but clear and concise facts.

    She is home??? Like in close vicinity? Yet can’t come see you and says she will in the next week or 2?

    That suggests strongly that she has moved on. As does her changed habits of Instagram posts.

    You mention culture as being a reason not to easily date , but she doesn’t care about culture because bikini shots doesn’t fit with that.

    Perhaps you expect her to fit into a perceived picture but she doesn’t.

    You were “annoyed” she didn’t try to win you back???
    Can you please elaborate on that? Why would she want to? What did you have to offer her that would want her to to try??
    close vicinity yes, however as i mentioned due to culture, her family are not open for her to travel easily to another city. A little close mined.
    Regarding the photos posted on stories, I know for a face she has almost half blocked... only our close friends and foreigners. For example one of the stories she posted was limited to CLOSE FRIENDS ONLY FILTER - and I was part of that.. sign right?

    Try to win me back: well because I've done the world for her, I know she loves me. She caused the break up and I left her.. but it was me who reconnected. We did break up once for a week 2 years ago. She broke it off.. but I put way much effort to try to win her back and showing her how much she means to me. Sometimes I just expect others to act the way I would in situations. again my situation posted has is way too brief.. I can post the long version so it may be clear. Just not sure if someone has the time to read 6-7 Paragraphs lol

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by mike28z
    Try to win me back: well because I've done the world for her, I know she loves me. She caused the break up and I left her.. but it was me who reconnected.
    What did she do?

    For reference, how old are you both?

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