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EX Girlfriend and Social Media advice


mike28z

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What is this face-to-face talk supposed to be about anyway, and you sure it's ever going to happen? It sounds more like a "maybe"-type plan, rather than something that has actually been confirmed. I would not be surprised if she keeps stalling.

 

She's being honest that she's talking to guys. I would assume it's only a matter of time until one of them expresses an interest in her, and she's free to respond to that now that she is single. She might not have an interest in someone specific today, but it's going to happen sooner or later, Mike. That's how single life goes.

 

It would be a lot better if you drop the idea of being friends and staying in any sort of contact unless and until she wants to discuss reconciliation. Period. That includes cutting yourself off as her fall-back guy when she wants some companionship (watching a movie) or attention (asking about her dog.)

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She's brusque and curt with you for a reason because you're crossing boundaries and inappropriate with your questions. It's all right and fine - you went ahead and asked them anyway. Now you've got your answers. It might be better taking a good look why she answered that way and how her reactions have been to you. Don't speak with her anymore. The vibe here is twisted and getting awkward.

 

Being with someone shouldn't be the olympics in psychology and you shouldn't be mindbending and scared all the time you're going to make the wrong move. Either that person wants to be with you or he/she doesn't. Put all of this out of your mind from now onwards, don't reply to questions about her dog or invitations to movietime online. You start doing you (without her) and figuring out how to go about your life having less to do with impressing her.

 

You both already had the idea of meeting in mid-Oct so don't fuzzy the plans or get side-tracked with dog/misc. issues. If she's in town and texts you, both of you can decide the time and place (call her or get her to call you and talk about it on the phone - no more texting). Don't respond to any messages unless they have to do with the logistics of meeting up. Let it be for now. I hope you feel better soon.

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Thats it im cutting her and clearing my mind up. If she tries to contact me being friendly ill just ignore or straight up say that im not looking for continuing any “friendship”

 

Thank you everyone its been hard , some days im strong .. other days im weak but trying

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Thats it im cutting her and clearing my mind up. If she tries to contact me being friendly ill just ignore or straight up say that im not looking for continuing any “friendship”

 

Thank you everyone its been hard , some days im strong .. other days im weak but trying

 

It's normal. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just continue on. Fill your time up with good things and better things. Onwards.

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Do you know what are the damages that breaking up with someone does? You broke up with her to make a point and then you blocked her. You tried to manipulate her and it didn’t work and now you’re freacking out because you’re losing control. It was always about control, isn’t?

 

If you want to stay with someone you love, you don’t breakup. If you breakup, you don’t get to wonder why the person you broke up with doesn’t chase you. You’re 28, grow up. From the moment you ended the relationship, she doesn’t owe you anything. She can start dating someone else right now and marry him next month if she wants. You don’t get your word in this. You know why? Because YOU ended the relationship. What she shows on social media isn’t the reality. If this girl cared about you, you probably put her through hell by breaking her heart. That’s what breakup does.

 

Now, stop stalking her. Mute her stories and stop checking her online activities. You can shoot her a text like ‘Let me know when we can meet, take care!’ and then you LEAVE. HER. ALONE.

 

This girl probably knows that she at least deserves better than someone who tries to manipulate her by breaking up. I’m not saying she’s the victim and that it’s all your fault, but as an adult, you should know that that there are other options than ending a relationship when you want to make a relationship work (see how incoherent it is to expect something to work by destroying it?).

 

Now, to answer your questions about her social media activities... She’s doing what a single person does... because, well, she’s actually single.

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Just a funny update to show you what i mean by being in constant confusion lol. I’ve cut contact for about 2 weeks , stopped pursuing or expecting anything anymore

 

She randomly texts me saying she had a dream (sexual) and how exciting n good it felt and how annoyed she felt waking up mid drem.. and also saying she can’t wait to fly and come over and indirectly refrences that we might get sexually physical.

 

Mind u. During 4yrs we never “sexted” or stuff like that on phone.. together yes.. just found all that weird but not overthinking .. im not analyzing anything anymore just sharing

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Just a funny update to show you what i mean by being in constant confusion lol. I’ve cut contact for about 2 weeks , stopped pursuing or expecting anything anymore

 

She randomly texts me saying she had a dream (sexual) and how exciting n good it felt and how annoyed she felt waking up mid drem.. and also saying she can’t wait to fly and come over and indirectly refrences that we might get sexually physical.

 

Mind u. During 4yrs we never “sexted” or stuff like that on phone.. together yes.. just found all that weird but not overthinking .. im not analyzing anything anymore just sharing

 

The thing is that this is NOT cutting off contact. Sure you might have stopped reaching out to her, but you've left it open for her to continue to screw with your head and string you along. You've been quiet, so she is stirring the pot, literally stringing you along. Close that door already and for good. You will feel better once you genuinely decide to be done with her and these games. What you are doing now, makes healing impossible and confusion your norm.

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Mike if you don't cut contact all this drama will never end. Don't be a toy, don't give her your remote control, don't keep any doors open that would give someone from your past so much power to come through it. Let them live their lives cause you need to move on.

What is more powerful - you moving ahead, putting all your efforts towards whatever you want to be in this life, the day you decide to cut chords is the day you start loving yourself.

Block & delete her from the online world and march ahead in your life. Time never waits for us.

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