SecurityMan Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Hi all! It's been a while thanks for opening my thread. To cut it short, I've met someone online in January and we've spoke daily, and during lockdown almost all day through multiple messaging means which means we've spoken for 5 months. We couldn't meet obviously due to lockdown. We're going to meet up on Saturday for something simple like a walk out which we've both agreed but she's starting to become very quiet in her messages and slightly different on me. I almost feel if I'm starting to annoy her? We get on fine, speak all the time but I have noticed a slight difference these last two weeks which you can imagine after 5 months is a bit of a shock... Nerves? Could she be changing her mind? She's absolutely adamant she wants to meet up still. It's making me feel like crap as it's starting to confuse and frustrate me which is no doubt reflecting in my messages to her sometimes. An advice from a lady would be fantastic on this one! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Relax, go have fun, see what happens. Link to comment
Eliza50 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 If she does change her mind, there's nothing you can do, anyway...but she's probably just nervous. Since you have a date set for Saturday I would keep the conversations short and simple. Just make firm plans for the date and leave the rest for the in person meeting. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Back off from messaging (or texting / emails). Some people burn out from excessive electronic correspondence 24 / 7. She's a stranger. Meet her, keep your social distance, wear your masks, wash your hands and get acquainted. Go from there. Be prepared for any scenario and remain realistic. Some people get good vibes and mutually like each other whereas other people will find something wrong and part ways. Link to comment
Andrina Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 What is the reason you didn't meet during the first 2 and a half months before the COVID outbreak? What's the distance between you two? What is her relationship history? There's no telling what is going on with her in the change you perceive in her communication. You can't press the fast forward button to get to Saturday and gauge her in-person behavior until it actually happens. My advice for the date is to stay in the present and ONLY enjoy the date for what it is. Having a nice chat with a lovely woman and getting to know a little more about her. Do not project to the future and think she could be "the one" because you feel sparks, if in fact you do. Just because you have a five month span of chatting behind you doesn't fast forward the relationship to something more important and deep. You are meeting a stranger. You cannot determine chemistry until physically meeting, and that's only the first step, a biological one, that will only progress you to step two if personalities mesh. And then you will have to see if you're compatible in all of the major ways. That's why it's important to meet ASAP in the dating world, because it's more uncommon for all of these elements to be there than not, and a lot of quick catch and release scenarios are the norm. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Too much investment is your problem. Relax and let it all go. If it doesn't work out, plenty more out there to meet. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 I agree with Andrina about keeping to the present. I think she is nervous and it appears you are too. This is all very natural. Leave room for not actually being into each other and having zero chemistry or not being attracted to each other in person. You have to be ready to stop on a dime and not push the matter too far if one person isn't into you or into seeing each other again. The unfortunate thing about chatting that long or at that frequency with someone before establishing an in-person romance is that you are both consistently getting way too far ahead of each other and what the relationship actually is in reality. I'm not understanding why multiple messaging means? This seems a bit confusing or overwhelming for the average person. Link to comment
greendots Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 Now that you guys are meeting, she might not feel that texting is all that necessary. But this is just a guess. You'd have to ask her. She wants to meet you, that's all that matters. Have a great time! I hope all goes well! Link to comment
abitbroken Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 Have you actually video chatted with her? Could she be married or not who she presents herself as? Link to comment
Acolyte2020 Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 You two have been talking for 5 months and now finally have a meet up set. If you sense she is quieter it could be nerves. I would listen to the others and dial it back a bit. Saturday is almost here so just keep it short and don't push for big convos right now. Try to relax and go in with a positive attitude. Just have a nice, fun, casual time. If things go well then great but don't go overboard and message her to death. I know I get overwhelmed if I'm supposed to meet up with someone on a certain day and they keep bringing it up or talking about other plans on top of that or if they text a ton. Then I feel kind of pushed and like I'm expected to please that person and be totally ON and that exhausts me. I'd rather it just be casual and no rush it expectations. If it goes well she'll want to hang out again but just be patient and let it happen naturally. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted June 19, 2020 Share Posted June 19, 2020 Do you live in China? If you don’t then you had opportunity to meet up with this person for 2 months before lockdown. She is a virtual stranger. Might not even be a she. You have no clue who you are supposedly meeting , so make it a safe public place and a short meet and greet. If the time , date and location has already been set , what’s the point in contacting each other before then? Turn up, hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. Link to comment
Spawn Posted June 20, 2020 Share Posted June 20, 2020 Please don't be available always, sometimes you need to be with yourself doing your own things there should be some thing to talk about when you meet up. Link to comment
Andrina Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 Did the date happen? If so, how'd it go? Link to comment
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