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Thread: Ex unblocked me after 5+ years

  1. #1
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    Ex unblocked me after 5+ years

    Hi everyone,

    My ex has suddenly unblocked me on all social media (IG, twitter, FB) after over 5 years NC. I don't know why, and I don't know if he's been snooping - he's in a relationship, but why now?

    We were together 2 years. 2 very intense years! We broke up badly then I got into another relationship after he messed me around/used me for sex for around a year with the promise that things would be normal again at some point (silly in hindsight I wish I'd stood up for myself).

    Another weird thing is my family told me he is renting a house the street next to theirs. I don't live there anymore, and it's in a really cut-off area where there's nothing really going on for people our age & is also quite expensive. My family also thought it was strange that he decided to move practically next door.

    I hope it's just because he's moved on but seeing his face again feels like it's dragged me back a bit. I'm happily married now to a lovely person and live 200 miles away from him. I don't want to be dragged into anything why didn't he just leave me blocked?

    thank you

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I'm curious how you know that you are suddenly unblocked. Do you regularly check his social media to see if he has decided to unblock you? Understandable, human, if that's the case. Still, it is a choice, which is to say you can only be "dragged" into something if you're looking for something to be dragged into.

    So rather than ask "Why now?" I would ask "Does why matter?" If you remain occasionally curious about him, occasionally regretful about that chapter in your life, occasionally angry and/or whimsical about it, and occasionally wishing a few things could be said or unsaidówell, odds are he feels similarly. Not so mysterious, in short, and only as confusing as you want to make it.

    You're happily married, living a new life. I say keep doing all that, being present in the present, and let this go. It is the past. Nothing is stopping you, of course, from blocking him, and closing the door to the potential of being dragged into anything. Might be worth considering, for your own emotional equilibrium and in respect to your marriage and husband.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Reset all your privacy settings on all your social media. Carefully go through all your devices and apps. Delete and block him and all his people from all your contact lists, messaging apps and social media.

    Maybe he got a new phone and is not too tech savvy, who knows. However it's in your control to remove any connection that computer programs and apps have.
    Originally Posted by Jay98
    I'm happily married now to a lovely person and live 200 miles away from him.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    How do you know you're unblocked?

    Do you check his social media to see if you are able to view his profile?

    If you're happily married why would it even matter? Do you entertain wistful thinking about reconciling with him and having things go right this time?

    ETA: I presume it's this same ex...[Register to see the link]

    It's more than being unblocked, he's communicating with you.

    You are flirting with an affair. Again, if you're happily married to a lovely person why are you entertaining this ex from years and years ago?

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  6. #5
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    Hi boltnrun, no that was someone else! The person I'm referring to is from my older posts (2013). I don't talk to that person anymore at all.

    I found out he'd unblocked me because I still have many mutual friends with him, and while scrolling through my timeline I saw his name pop up a few times where I couldn't before (likes, comments etc). Out of curiousity I checked IG and twitter and yep, unblocked there too.

    Maybe moving next door to my family wasn't getting anywhere so he needed to check up on me in other ways.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    But this is the second ex you're posting about over the past year or so.

    Are you happy in your marriage? It seems odd that you're thinking about exes so much. Generally if one is happy in one's relationship you don't even care what an ex is doing and you don't accept messages from any ex.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jay98
    Maybe moving next door to my family wasn't getting anywhere so he needed to check up on me in other ways.
    The way you worded this seems you give this much more importance than it deserves. The phenomenon of social media makes things readily available. Too much so. It was probably a slow day for him, that's all.

    It seemed to rock you a little bit. Block him so you don't waste any further energy on this.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jay98
    Maybe moving next door to my family wasn't getting anywhere so he needed to check up on me in other ways.
    Why is it so important to you that he remains fixated on you?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
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    Maybe he created new social media account.

  11. #10
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    I am happy in my marriage I love my husband to bits! Iím just curious in all honesty with no more behind it.
    I think if he hadnít moved so close to my family I wouldnít be so bothered, I just donít want him finding ways via social media to see when Iím home etc as he literally lives a street away now. Itís weird to me because itís such a specific place to move to.

    I donít want him to be fixated on me - thatís the point. He made my life hell for nearly 2 years.

    Itís not a new account either he went through the trouble of unblocking me on all over a period of days (yes I was anxious enough to check).

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