Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5 years now in the beginning I had asked to be Facebook friends but he just said it was complicated , he lived in a different town so I thought maybe he had like a wife he was hiding or something and didn’t want to be Facebook friends because of that . Since then he has moved here where I am , he still refuses to be friends on Facebook. And I randomly found his Instagram in the suggested to follow page , he hasn’t uploaded anything in a long time and I told him about finding his Instagram page and a few weeks later his Instagram was put to private. I have ignored the social media thing for quite a while , but it is a bit weird to me . When I first approached him about the whole Facebook thing and asked if he was hiding something he got really upset about me asking . Is it weird to anyone else ? Link to comment
Jewels465 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. So yeah, he’s hiding something. That’s a big red flag. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Yeah it sounds weird to me, who or what is he hiding? Most couples do share facebook and other social media pages. His refusal seems odd. Link to comment
Lambert Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 The fact that you cant ask him without him getting upset is the part I'd not like. I feel in healthy relationships you can ask anything, share anything, nothing is off the table to be discussed. It is after all just a conversation... Anything short of that, yeah, no thanks. I'm not dealing with that.... I wpuld have to tell him how I feel and if he didnt give me what a deserve- the truth. then I'd end it. At the very least, he is showing you, there is a part of his life that he won't share. Does that mean someone else? Idk. Does it mean he diesnt see a future with you and he's using you until he finds someone better? Idk. But I'd rather know now, not later. because he's leaving either way, at some point. And I'm not anyone's placeholder. And you shouldn't be either. It does hurt to set a boundary and stick to it. You can still like them, love them, miss them etc but until you call B.S. its on their terms. And after a year and a half, if he's not going be real with you, then when? Link to comment
bluecastle Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Yeah, it’s weird. As is the way you’re describing it all. Do you think he considers you his girlfriend? Do you guys hang out as a couple, know each other’s friends and families? Curious, I admit, why the first thing you’d think is that he might have a secret wife or something along those lines. Makes me wonder how suspicious you are about him, and his being fully into you. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Have you met his friends or family? Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 Have you met his friends or family? I have met some of his friends , like the only friend of his I have met is the one that introduced us but I have never met his family Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 Yeah, it’s weird. As is the way you’re describing it all. Do you think he considers you his girlfriend? Do you guys hang out as a couple, know each other’s friends and families? Curious, I admit, why the first thing you’d think is that he might have a secret wife or something along those lines. Makes me wonder how suspicious you are about him, and his being fully into you. At the very beginning I was very suspicious about the whole Facebook thing and that’s why I thought he might have a wife he didn’t want me to see as he is older than I am . But he moved away from where he stays and moved to the state I’m in so I was sure he didn’t have a secret wife he was hiding . We do hangout as a couple , I only know the one friend of his who introduced us to each other , but I have never met his family . Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 I asked him about it once and he got really upset and I never asked him again. The odd thing is he was willing to accept a friend of mine on Facebook but not me Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Yes, it's weird. You already know that, though. It's also weird that after 1.5 years, you have met practically nobody in his life. You say he has moved to your state - does he live in your city, or another one? Do you ever go to his house, or does he just come to you? How much of an age gap is there between you two? I am quite sure he is hiding something from you. Him getting upset is just noise meant to distract you from finding out the truth. So many red flags here. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I have met some of his friends , like the only friend of his I have met is the one that introduced us but I have never met his family I'm confused, how many of his friends have you met? How often do you see them? Where does his family live? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Try to focus on your real life relationship. Why do you need to scan his social media? Do you know where he lives? Where he works? Who his friends and family are? Have you been to his hometown or his place? What do you suspect he is hiding? The cyber portion of what was a LDR should be over. Is this the same guy?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=535004&p=6824331&viewfull=1#post6824331Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5 years Since then he has moved here where I am , he still refuses to be friends on Facebook. And I randomly found his Instagram in the suggested to follow pag Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I don't do much of anything or add people on Spacebook anymore either. It's not weird to me. Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 I'm confused, how many of his friends have you met? How often do you see them? Where does his family live? We are both from a different country , most of his family stays outside of US. But his siblings are in the US . I have only met one of his friends , because that is the guy that introduced us , I do not see his friends that often Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 Try to focus on your real life relationship. Why do you need to scan his social media? Do you know where he lives? Where he works? Who his friends and family are? Have you been to his hometown or his place? What do you suspect he is hiding? The cyber portion of what was a LDR should be over. Is this the same guy?: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=535004&p=6824331&viewfull=1#post6824331 Yes this is the same guy from the LDR . Yes I know where he stays , where he works , I know his friend and his family, but I have never met his family . We are both from a different country outside of the US so I have never been to his hometown . Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Are you concerned that he has a wife/gf in his home country? Is he on a work/study visa? This gut only wanted hookups Are you sure you are dating/in a relationship? He is still keeping you a secret from his coworkers friends and family? Sorry but you may need to end this situationship if you are long for a long term committed relationship. Being social media friends will not improve this situation.Yes this is the same guy from the LDR . Yes I know where he stays , where he works , I know his friend and his family, but I have never met his family . We are both from a different country outside of the US so I have never been to his hometown . Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I asked him about it once and he got really upset and I never asked him again. The odd thing is he was willing to accept a friend of mine on Facebook but not me That would be completely unacceptable to me and weird too. And I'm not into social media/facebook in that way and even I would not stand for that. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 We are both from a different country , most of his family stays outside of US. But his siblings are in the US . I have only met one of his friends , because that is the guy that introduced us , I do not see his friends that often You realize that you are a secret . Something is very wrong with this relationship, and he is not bringing you into his life. Why has this been okay for you? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Yes this is the same guy from the LDR . Yes I know where he stays , where he works , I know his friend and his family, but I have never met his family . We are both from a different country outside of the US so I have never been to his hometown . You are still with that awful guy that treated you like a free hooker? Does he ever take you out, or are all your dates still in the bedroom? I don't understand why you are in this demeaning relationship! Are you that scared of being alone? I would bet money that he is married. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Are you concerned that he has a wife/gf in his home country? Is he on a work/study visa? This gut only wanted hookups Are you sure you are dating/in a relationship? He is still keeping you a secret from his coworkers friends and family? Sorry but you may need to end this situationship if you are long for a long term committed relationship. Being social media friends will not improve this situation. She should have ended this long ago! OP, please consult a therapist for your low self worth. Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 Are you concerned that he has a wife/gf in his home country? Is he on a work/study visa? This gut only wanted hookups Are you sure you are dating/in a relationship? He is still keeping you a secret from his coworkers friends and family? Sorry but you may need to end this situationship if you are long for a long term committed relationship. Being social media friends will not improve this situation. He is here permanently, he used to stay in a different state when we first met and he moved to the state that I am in . We do things that people would do when in a relationship, we celebrate anniversaries, go out on dates and he does claim me as his girlfriend . His siblings don’t stay in same state so I have never really met them .The rest of his family is outside of the country . About his coworkers he says he doesn’t really like his job so he doesn’t hang out with them , so I have never met his coworkers either Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Have you been to his workplace? He only has one friend? Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 You realize that you are a secret . Something is very wrong with this relationship, and he is not bringing you into his life. Why has this been okay for you? I was never bothered by the whole Facebook thing because he had proved to me in other ways that he isn’t hiding something . He moved to the state I’m in to be closer to me. But I do see what you mean about me being a secret Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 Have you been to his workplace? He only has one friend? I have been to his work place to bring him lunch , he has other friends but this one friend is someone he stays with so that’s why I have met him more times than his other friends Link to comment
Babe210 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 You are still with that awful guy that treated you like a free hooker? Does he ever take you out, or are all your dates still in the bedroom? I don't understand why you are in this demeaning relationship! Are you that scared of being alone? I would bet money that he is married. Yes he does take me out , since my post from years ago , he has moved to the state I’m in , and we have gone out on multiple dates Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.