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Thread: Again with an ex

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    When people get nostalgic and backtrack like this it's often because there's been a void or disappointment or some sort of loneliness. What is the situation in this case?
    Originally Posted by WandererBoy
    Let's call her Jane (not real name). Some years ago we had a relationship and we were in love. But there was a problem...at the start of our relationship, she was engaged.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    I'm sorry for the late reply, but I had little time in the past days.

    I thank everyone for the advice, both kind and harsh, because every perspective helps and I know I have made some questionable choices.
    Living on a mountain doesn't seem so nice anymore ahah. But yes, facing the problem is the only way. I know that, but I somewhat try to delay the crash. I feel like I am afraid of losing her forever, while at the same time I know we cannot stay together as things stand. I am torn between staying and leaving. I don't know if the sugar analogy is fitting, but it sure holds merit when I think of the rush I get in the brief moments of peace with her.

    I didn't feel lonely before she came back, quite the contrary. I was putting my life together and achieving a ton of life goals all at once, which felt both amazing and weird. Maybe I took her back because now I am a different person and I thought I could handle the past and whatever current situation would present itself now. Perhaps I overestimated what I can do.

    I haven't seen her in 20 days. It was both by my choice and a forced situation due to IRL complications (don't worry, I'm fine). At times I miss her, but more often than not, I dread receiving her messages, I don't really feel like talking to her, and I'm all too happy to drop my phone and go do something to not think about it, while maybe right before she wrote me I was binge watching youtube videos.

    I'm sure this also ties in with the procrastination before the big crash. I'll have to see her this weekend, and I fear I'll reconsider again and tell myself I can do it, while really I cannot (or I don't want to...).

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