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Thread: friend turned out to be selfish

  1. #31
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Once again, be very clear with yourself what risks, what amount of time, what amount of stress on your mental and physical health, what repercussions, are worth it -does she know people who can come and harass you? For example. I took someone to small claims court and had I not opted for arbitration I would have likely had to wait hours for my case to be called plus gone back most likely. At inconvenient times.
    My experience with small claims - we had a renter evicted for non payment. She's was unstable and broke windows on her way out. We had to pay to have her served and board up the windows.

    You pay a fee to file for small claims and in the end we were vindicated. The judge ruled in our favor and she was to pay us in installments. Sounds great right?

    We were pretty naive and felt pretty proud of ourselves. But ultimately we never saw one single payment. There is no one to enforce the payments. So, in the end not only we were out the back rent and the cost of boarding it up and repairs, but additionally we had spent money for court cost and having her served that in the end . . got us nothing.

    I can only assume it's on some sort of record of hers for non payment? But was it up to us to chase after that and pay more to make it legitimate? We'll never know. We just were disillusioned by the process and chose not the throw any more time and money at it. Ultimately was a waste of time, money and frustration.

  2. #32
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    So today i went and got a quote for the damage and it has come to 850 as the impact of the smash caused my poor car bumper to collide into the side panel and also push that out of alignment as well!

    This morning i told her i was going to get quotes and she told me that if i contact her again she will contact the police and say im harrasing her. So i have now ended contact with her completely. .... i found it mildly amusing though because if she did contact the police they would find out shes refusing to give me her insurance details. .

    Anyway i contacted my insurance and given them the information i know and they have said the only thing they need now is her number plate and they will be able to get her insurance details through that. As shes refusing to give me her number plate i will be tavelling up there in the next few days and waiting until she is there and i will get the number plate myself. Then the insurance company will have what they need, the police will be contacted to be made aware she wouldnt give me her details when i asked and she will find out the hard way that being a instead of sorting this out like she promised willl be like. I have to pay 250 voluntary access but its better than paying 850 and for her to accuse me of being a liar.....once i have the number plate i will let you all know. Thank you all so much for your advise and help. I also will never contact that girl again.

    I just wish i could be a fly on the wall when she finds out ive gone through my insurance. She will not be expecting this at all..... She has tried to dictate the terms to me on what is going to happen and told me that she never caused the damage to the alignment of my bumper so its going to be serves her right for thinking she can dictate to me how this is going to go....its nice to also take my power back even if its going to cost me 250....but really i think its made me feel a whole lot better to go down this path instead

  3. #33
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    My experience with small claims - we had a renter evicted for non payment. She's was unstable and broke windows on her way out. We had to pay to have her served and board up the windows.

    You pay a fee to file for small claims and in the end we were vindicated. The judge ruled in our favor and she was to pay us in installments. Sounds great right?

    We were pretty naive and felt pretty proud of ourselves. But ultimately we never saw one single payment. There is no one to enforce the payments. So, in the end not only we were out the back rent and the cost of boarding it up and repairs, but additionally we had spent money for court cost and having her served that in the end . . got us nothing.

    I can only assume it's on some sort of record of hers for non payment? But was it up to us to chase after that and pay more to make it legitimate? We'll never know. We just were disillusioned by the process and chose not the throw any more time and money at it. Ultimately was a waste of time, money and frustration.
    Sorry you had to go through that :(

  4. #34
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    No, it's really not. What would have been shocking behavior is if she actually fronted all costs for your repair. 9 times out of 10, there's a reason people want to circumvent the insurance process beyond saving themselves the premium hike.

    Bottom line is it's not when you put yourself at the mercy of other people that you start taking a hardlined approach expecting good results. If she had any good faith left, it's likely gone now. That's why it's often best not to put yourself in a position to have to kiss someone's ass if you can avoid it. And any opportunity for you to dictate what she needs to do vanished the moment you sent her on her way without consequence after hitting your car. Learn to recognize when you're putting yourself in a needlessly vulnerable position. Fortunately for you, eating the cost of a busted bumper is a much lighter price than many have paid in learning that lesson.

    Call your insurance company with a general inquiry and pray for a miracle, but it's a near guarantee either and most likely both:
    1) You didn't have an accident report filed in time for coverage
    2) You won't have filed an insurance claim in time

    And in the event you do have to go into detail with your insurance, be prepared for the possibility you get booted off your policy.

    Again, refer to your state's laws regarding unreported accidents, and educate yourself on the details of your insurance policy. From there, decide just how wide you want to open this can of worms. Honestly, at this point, I'd consider it a win if you manage to coax her into relieving you of any portion of the repair costs. Best of luck.
    Do you live in America? I am from the uk and ive spoken to my insurance and they said its fine to put the claim in 5 weeks later. Even my boss at work told me a story of how he managed to get an insurance pay out....same situation as mine a mate strung him along and then never paid

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  6. #35
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    One small point. what is a "washer"? Is this a term for a catalytic converter? or Some kind of exhaust part?

    I'm from California and i have not heard of such a thing, and for it to be on your car or you are in trouble.
    Its the screen wash. The liquid u spray on the window to clean it.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. Because you have now chosen to do things legally and officially, your auto will be properly repaired. You could sue her for your deductible (access fee?). Are you going to the police or will the insurance report it as a hit and run?
    Originally Posted by kathy679
    i contacted my insurance and given them the information i know and they have said the only thing they need now is her number plate and they will be able to get her insurance details through that. even if its going to cost me 250.

  8. #37
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Excellent. Because you have now chosen to do things legally and officially, your auto will be properly repaired. You could sue her for your deductible (access fee?). Are you going to the police or will the insurance report it as a hit and run?
    I will ask them if they will report it. If not i will report it myself, have no dout about that. I wont let her get away with treating me like this.
    Please tell me more about how i can sue her for my acess fee im well up for claiming back my 250 if i can that is a lot of money to me

  9. #38
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    First your insurance must prove she did this hit-and-run. No one can randomly charge someone's insurance. Then you need to have your car repaired. You need to keep all the bills and document all the paperwork from the body shop, insurance etc. When you have all that together ask your insurance about it.

    You may have to file a police report yourself. They will be better at finding her if you have her name, age, the date, time it happened the make model of her car where she lives etc. It's their job, not yours. In fact that would be much better than continuing to take matters in your own hands. The more you do that the worse it looks for you.

    Get your emotions out of this and treat it as a hit and run. If you continue to make it a personal cat-fight, you won't be taken seriously and they may even think you are filing a false report. Just the facts, ma'am.
    Originally Posted by kathy679
    I will ask them if they will report it. If not i will report it myself, have no dout about that. I wont let her get away with treating me like this.
    Please tell me more about how i can sue her for my acess fee im well up for claiming back my 250 if i can that is a lot of money to me

  10. #39
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    First your insurance must prove she did this hit-and-run. No one can randomly charge someone's insurance. Then you need to have your car repaired. You need to keep all the bills and document all the paperwork from the body shop, insurance etc. When you have all that together ask your insurance about it.

    You may have to file a police report yourself. They will be better at finding her if you have her name, age, the date, time it happened the make model of her car where she lives etc. It's their job, not yours. In fact that would be much better than continuing to take matters in your own hands. The more you do that the worse it looks for you.

    Get your emotions out of this and treat it as a hit and run. If you continue to make it a personal cat-fight, you won't be taken seriously and they may even think you are filing a false report. Just the facts, ma'am.
    Seeing that the original agreement between the two of them was to handle it themselves without involving either of their insurance. It wouldn't be considered a hit and run. Though it a grey fuzzy area for sure, but she agreed to the terms originally.

  11. #40
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Seeing that the original agreement between the two of them was to handle it themselves without involving either of their insurance. It wouldn't be considered a hit and run. Though it a grey fuzzy area for sure, but she agreed to the terms originally.
    I did, lesson well and truely learnt

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