Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 7 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 69

Thread: friend turned out to be selfish

  1. #21
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    1,014
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    My husband was in the car biz for years. Take as many photos as you need, call your insurance co. Take the car for estimates (at least 3) and then do whatever your insurance co. says to do. Your friend is trying to weasel out of paying for the repair or replacement of the bumper. Turning it over to your ins. is what you should have done when it happened. She is no friend. If you are told to report it to the police, then do that.
    Ive messaged her and told her im getting 3 quotes where they see my car. And i suggested she do the same.
    Shes had 5 weeks to get quotes and ao far nothing. Also she has a photo of the damage she caused on her phone, she thinks that is enough to go on to get a quote. A mickey mouse quote prehaps.
    Anyway i am willing to offer her to pay for the damage monthly in installments or to go with the cheapest quote we find between us and get the work done there and then. Im trying still to be reasonable with her. She is no friend though.she has insulted me by Accusing me of being a liar, i quote "please stop lying its not nice i am being a good friend" is what she said when i told her my bumper was not in alignment...can u believe that. Shes completely deluded. Im still in shock really that someone i thought was ok is actually only interested in herself.
    I think if she doesnt comply i should call the police really shes a joke. Im going to call my insurance now and find out what they think i should do about this

  2. #22
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    1,014
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by j.man
    Ho boy. There's a whole lot in this scenario that you're going to have to do yourself. Pretty much whether you have a leg to stand on at all will depend on your state, locality, and both yours and her insurance companies. And even then, it's going to be an almost guaranteed pain in the ass.

    1. It's highly unlikely they'll slap her with a charge for fleeing the scene when you both agreed not to report it. Additionally, depending on your state, you could both simply be slapped with a fine for failing to report the accident just to spite you after the headache and what they'll most likely consider the waste of time that is collecting any definitive details over a month after the fact. Not saying don't do it. Maybe you'll garner some sympathy. Worst you could do is call the PD and ask for general information before you go about bringing someone out and incriminating yourself and getting cited for not reporting. Just keep your expectations grounded.

    2. You can and also should consult with your insurance company, but you've got two hurdles both in having delayed in filing an accident report (a lot require one to be filed within 24 - 48 hours regardless of how long you've legally got to do so) and in filing the actual insurance claim, which often carries its own limited window. I'd say the chances one or the other, never mind both won't preclude you from getting a check is pretty damn slim. Again, not a "you shouldn't do it." Just keep your expectations grounded. I'd also likewise call in with a general inquiry if possible to avoid again incriminating yourself on what's most likely a breach of the terms of your insurance policy.

    3. In the likely occurrence she doesn't pay you and nobody's insurance is going to pay out, you could do small claims, especially if you've got sound documentation of her admitting fault and which repairs she'll cover. Up to you whether it's worth the hassle of both going to court and then potentially any bucking she does when it comes time to collect. Again... *deep exhale* ... not to say don't do it. Just keep your expectations grounded.

    You shot yourself in the foot big time. I'm sorry to tell it like that. Your time to play hardball was immediately after she hit your car, not 5+ weeks after the fact when you're pretty much at her whim as to whether you get this money without a continental headache. Do explore whatever paths of least resistance you can. Definitely no reason to just roll over in case it ends up super easy. But it's ultimately going to be a value judgement of how much this bumper is worth it to you.

    Speaking personally, I work seasonally and get a solid four months a year off. During that time, I've got all kinds of time and spare money to get all kinds of petty if a friend like yours got at me like that. Recently had to do it for our NYC landlord who held our deposit thinking we wouldn't do **** because we moved out of state. I genuinely had a blast reporting her illegal AirBnB, calling the housing authority on our old to give it the ooool' inspecta-specta, and invoking some connections I had with the law school I contracted for years with. Landlord needless to say did not have as good a time. Unfortunately, not everyone's got that luxury, so I can't tell you what you need to do in the name of justice.
    I have a lot on my plate at the moment but i will make time to find the quotes and look at ways to hit her where it seems to hurt her. In her pocket.... its all going on at the moment but im like a dog with a bone when it comes to putting the world to rights

  3. #23
    Gold Member kathy679's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    1,014
    Gender
    Female
    Ive contacted her telling her that im looking for my own quotes and shes told me that shes going to contact the poilce if i carry on texting her cos this is harrassement. Whats my rights here?
    Really is she for real. This is shocking behaviour im sure they will think that shes got no grounds and is wasting their time

  4. #24
    Originally Posted by kathy679
    Technically, the onus is on you to get multiple estimates and let her choose, but give her the benefit of the doubt. At least for now. redadair

    If this continues, I'd let go of any idea of a friendship, I'd get my car fixed and take her to small claims court.
    Worst case scenario, how do i go about taking her to a small claims court[/QUOTE]

    These are the cover things which are entertaining down towards the empire relation

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,697
    Once again, be very clear with yourself what risks, what amount of time, what amount of stress on your mental and physical health, what repercussions, are worth it -does she know people who can come and harass you? For example. I took someone to small claims court and had I not opted for arbitration I would have likely had to wait hours for my case to be called plus gone back most likely. At inconvenient times.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,528
    Gender
    Male
    You need to stop playing games with her to circumvent your insurance. You are going in circles. You need to call your insurance. You need to get estimates. It's your car. It's your responsibility.
    Originally Posted by kathy679
    Ive contacted her telling her that im looking for my own quotes and shes told me that shes going to contact the poilce if i carry on texting her cos this is harrassement.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,479
    Originally Posted by kathy679
    Ive contacted her telling her that im looking for my own quotes and shes told me that shes going to contact the poilce if i carry on texting her cos this is harrassement. Whats my rights here?
    Really is she for real. This is shocking behaviour im sure they will think that shes got no grounds and is wasting their time
    No, it's really not. What would have been shocking behavior is if she actually fronted all costs for your repair. 9 times out of 10, there's a reason people want to circumvent the insurance process beyond saving themselves the premium hike.

    Bottom line is it's not when you put yourself at the mercy of other people that you start taking a hardlined approach expecting good results. If she had any good faith left, it's likely gone now. That's why it's often best not to put yourself in a position to have to kiss someone's ass if you can avoid it. And any opportunity for you to dictate what she needs to do vanished the moment you sent her on her way without consequence after hitting your car. Learn to recognize when you're putting yourself in a needlessly vulnerable position. Fortunately for you, eating the cost of a busted bumper is a much lighter price than many have paid in learning that lesson.

    Call your insurance company with a general inquiry and pray for a miracle, but it's a near guarantee either and most likely both:
    1) You didn't have an accident report filed in time for coverage
    2) You won't have filed an insurance claim in time

    And in the event you do have to go into detail with your insurance, be prepared for the possibility you get booted off your policy.

    Again, refer to your state's laws regarding unreported accidents, and educate yourself on the details of your insurance policy. From there, decide just how wide you want to open this can of worms. Honestly, at this point, I'd consider it a win if you manage to coax her into relieving you of any portion of the repair costs. Best of luck.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    2,031
    One small point. what is a "washer"? Is this a term for a catalytic converter? or Some kind of exhaust part?

    I'm from California and i have not heard of such a thing, and for it to be on your car or you are in trouble.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,565
    What is the cost?

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,528
    Gender
    Male
    After you contact your insurance and get estimates and get it fixed what you can do is sue her for whatever deductible or out of pocket costs you have. But you can not go to court or get anything from her if you don't have "clean hands", which means reporting it to your insurance. This deal you made with her is a nightmare that only you have the power to resolve. It's your car, it's your insurance, the onus is on you to call your insurance, get estimates, get it fixed etc.
    Originally Posted by kathy679
    Ive contacted her telling her that im looking for my own quotes and shes told me that shes going to contact the poilce if i carry on texting her cos this is harrassement.

Page 3 of 7 FirstFirst 123456 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •