Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: Stressed and tired

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    190
    Gender
    Female

    Stressed and tired

    Hi everyone,

    Iím not sure what kind for advice Iím looking for this time, I probably just need to vent.

    Iíve been down on my luck lately, I just feel as if nothing goes my way, Iíve been having issues with my bank, they keep blocking my debit card for no apparent reason (they apologize and then block my card again). My neighbor has been harassing me because he believes thereís a leak coming from my apartment even though two plumbers have confirmed thereís no leak. I am super busy at work too, Iím really stressed, feel like I might be sick soon, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about these things. I also lost some weight, like rationally I know none of the above is super serious, it just seems my body is tired of this stress.

    My friends have been supportive, I just donít want to complain too much as I am usually the one who cheers everyone up. Right now I feel like I need some support. I live in another country, my family is back home, I donít tell the much about my life, I donít want to complain, even if I do, their response is something like Iím grown up now and need to take care of my life. This totally makes sense, I just wish theyíd be more supportive in a way. They believe I should be grateful I managed to move to Western Europe and donít complain, but I just canít be happy all the time. Iím tired of over-faking Iím alright and my life is perfect.

    My best friend is coming to visit this weekend and to be honest, Iím not even excited about her visiting, I donít feel like doing sightseeing with her, I just want to sleep. I know Iíll overcome this when sheís here but is stresses me out too.

    I donít want to sound spoiled, I know life is never perfect, I just feel right now I have little energy and patience left.

    As I said, I donít know what kind of advice Iím expecting, thanks for reading this.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,488
    If you decide you do want input I have a way I deal with the middle of the night worrying if you think it would help.

    Otherwise I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed and I hope today is a better day!!

  3. #3
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    134
    Gender
    Female
    Change banks.

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    67
    you will get better. life goes in cycles. you don't sound spoiled at all. you sound like a hard worker who's going through some rough patches.

    it will get better in time. just keep plugging away and focus on one problem at a time and slowly the tide will turn in you favor. good luck.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,201
    Gender
    Female
    Yes change banks, find a new apartment...one with a hot tub or indoor pool to relax in after work. I think the change would be good for you.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    9,884
    Gender
    Female
    Give yourself permission to be honest. Yes, some days are bad. Some days you need to actually swear and call your neighbor an azz and moan to your friends about it. It is actually healthy for you. You cannot be always happy - that's not normal and not healthy and nobody actually expects you to be always happy. When you vent to your friends - you'll find some comfort, support, and even good advice on how to deal with an issue.

    Also, find other ways to deal and give yourself an outlet. Maybe it's just reading a book, maybe it's going for a walk or jog, a friend of mine swears by kick boxing classes as perfect stress relief, others do yoga or meditate. Really, you need to try things and find what works for you to release that steam. If you don't....you'll make yourself sick. Don't keep trying to hold it all in and pretend that everything is all smiles. Life doesn't work that way for anyone and everyone needs to find their own release valve that they can use on a regular basis. Find yours.

    In addition to the above, yes, make some changes. Change your banks or open another account in a different bank as backup. See what you can do about your lease. Maybe it's time to find a new place. What can you do to get some of these monkeys off your back in short and long term?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    1,617
    I echo what DF has said... you need to invest in yourself if you want to be able to keep moving forward... I guarantee that if you look at your day and what you are doing, you will be able to find time to commit to doing something that brings you happiness and joy, even if it's just 20 minutes a day.

    The 8 dimensions of wellness might give you some ideas about where you want to invest your time...

    1. Emotional
    2. Environment
    3. Financial
    4. Intellectual
    5. Occupational
    6. Physical
    7. Social
    8. Spiritual

    Life isn't perfect, but I don't think you are spoiled in admitting that you are stressed... in fact I think that it's important to be honest about how we are feeling so we can make the necessary changes.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,418
    Gender
    Female
    If you are sharing your bank card or have a habit of giving someone your card with the PIN, your account will be flagged (this isn't permitted and a common mistake many people make, ie passing or sharing their bank cards with family members). Large deposits over $10K are also flagged for money laundering purposes. These were some of the issues that customers regularly had when I used to work at a bank years ago. Most customers don't know this but there are elves working in the background and noting each account for every delinquency or flagged transaction. An account with a lot of flags or notes is more prone to issues down the line.

    I would definitely suggest you make it a point to go in and speak to someone (make an appointment) and clarify if you're expecting any large cash deposits or withdrawals or if there are changes in the use of your cards or accounts. Most of the protocol is for the safety of the customers.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,268
    Gender
    Female
    I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about these things.
    Keep a cheap spiral notebook by your bed, and if you awaken at night, jot down what bothers you and instruct your mind to let it go to be addressed when you're well rested.

    Lack of restful sleep impacts all else. When properly rested, not only will fewer things agitate you, you'll be a more focused problem solver--so any time spent on dealing with 'must resolve' issues will be productive.

    Write a short list of stuff you'll tackle over the coming days, and notice how your sleep will be less impacted by trying to hold onto the stuff.

    Then, right before bed, sip some water over ice to hydrate while you relax with something positive and inspirational to read. As you tire, instruct your mind to relax and trust that you will be capable of addressing things after you're well rested.

    Instruct your mind as you fall asleep to allow you to rest, even while it does it's job of processing for you while you sleep. Ask it to do 'background processing' rather than disturb your sleep.

    The combo plate of writing, then reading a passage or two of something positive to change your focus, then instructing you mind to let go of the stuff you've captured on paper should work wonders to aid restful sleep and hopefully address your health concerns.

    Headd high, you can do this.

  11. #10
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    190
    Gender
    Female
    Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

    My landlord has told my neighbor to calm down, he still keeps sending emails to both of us, and the building maintenance people, I hope he will stop at some point.

    I have called my bank, I have been there in person last week and today, it seems nobody knows why they keep blocking my card. My financial advisor said he would follow up on this. Someone mentioned large cash deposits or withdrawals, none of this happened, I wanted to buy a book on Amazon and order food. I'll wait a little and might change my bank if they can't help me to sort this out.

    I told two close friends of mine how I've been feeling lately, they were so nice and supportive, I don't know why I have this habit of holding everything inside. I agree I need to find a way to release the steam, I used to take dance classes, it was so much fun. My schedule at work is so unpredictable right now it's hard to commit to regular classes/activities.

    I feel slightly better than yesterday, my priority is to sleep well and stop losing weight. The thing is that when I'm stressed, I just can't eat, my stomach refuses any food and I tend to lose weight quickly.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •