Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

I got ahold of my son’s ODSP worker and applied for his COVID19 benefit. It is only a 1 time benefit, of course the poor get screwed.

I am just struggling to get out of crisis mode.

This is bringing out the best and worst in humanity. And the worst just makes me want to kick them in the teeth.

So I had a fight with my dad on the phone over the dumbest shyte. I hung up on him. We haven’t had a disagreement in quite a while. Now he isn’t answering me. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 was I at fault , yeah.... but you know after all the abuse I have taken from him I can’t say I feel bad. I did want to apologize but if can’t pick up the phone like an adult screw em.

You gotta love passive aggressive aholes I had to remove one from my FB today and I have never done that in my life.

Today my dad finally picked up and I told him I was sorry for the argument and hanging up on him. He said well thanks. He told me he wasn’t feeling well and had to go to his dialysis tonight. He said he felt sick to his stomach and shaky. And then I told him I loved him and I will talk to him soon. Then I hung up and cried.

COVID-19 has made it into the NICU at the hospital where my son was born.😔 my son was never in the NICU but it’s now in there with sick and premature babies.

My son got his extra money from ODSP today. Applying for the CERB is by birthdate so I have to wait till Thursday.

Two hours and I can apply.

I kind of saw the writing on the wall ahead of time so I wasn’t caught with my pants down but I didn’t feel comfortable about what I had stocked up either. After this I can tell you I will never even have to think about if I have stocked up on what we need. I don’t care if hubby and my kid think I’m a total nut.

Well, my application is in and accepted. I should have the first month payment in 3 business days.

My taxes were E-filed today. My husband gets a refund but I owe so his refund pays most of what I owe, thankfully.

The astounding number of people that can’t follow basic rules is unbelievable. Is it that they think it doesn’t applies to them or they just don’t give two f***s?

So my best friend J ,there is this elderly woman that lives in her apartment building is dead. 😓 she wasn’t the most pleasant woman in fact she was down right nasty. And even though there was an emergency order in place she was still going out every single night to Walmart and food hoarding because she had to buy something to get in and out of Walmart. Well ,three days ago she fell down the stairs of the apartment building of course coming back home from going out on her nightly prance. An ambulance was called and on the way to the hospital she suffered a massive heart attack and was dead for eight minutes. They managed to revive her but then she started suffering seizures and then three strokes. So right now she’s on life-support and her children have to decide to take her off by tomorrow. 😓

RIP, S.

So my first stimulus check arrived in my bank. I can apply for the second one tomorrow.

I had another night of chest crushing panic. Hubby has to work today and woke up 40 mins ago which woke me up.

My step dad got to apply for the CERB, thank God I don’t have to worry about them now.

That's great!

That's great!

For sure. I hate to see old people suffer and that poor man is still working at 80 years old. And of course my mom suffers so much every day.

My mom’s most beloved cousin has cancer. 😓

I want to buy some seafood for our Anniversary. Maybe make a shrimp ball and have some lobsters or scallops.

We had a nice FACETIME call with my mom and step dad tonight and with my MIL and SIL on the weekend.

It is my anniversary in a week.

So, my dr added mirtazapine to my medications. I take it at night so I am not agitated and can sleep. Then in the morning I take my candestaran, norvasc and Crestor and clonazepam.

Ammmm sooooo relaxes now and will sleep .

I just woke up and didn’t even move a muscle all night.

Part of mirtazapine is an anti depression and anti anxiety element. Even as soon as last night my anxiety is greatly reduced. Thank God! I am not anxious when I fall asleep. I am still a bit groggy in the morning . But took my morning meds in including my clonazepam and I feel relaxed.

I am sure the groggy feeling will go away once the brain gets used to it.

I am so so glad for the lack of anxiety .

There is residual grogginess that I am sure will go away soon enough. No weird effects though.

No residual grogginess and no anxiety at night, through the time or when I wake up.