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Thread: Could he be interested or simply seeking more business?

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by RuedeRivoli
    I think the reason why I posted this thread is because I obviously cannot act suspicious towards him.

    This does not mean I act in this manner in our interactions (which quite frankly have been short). I always find it a bit strange when people assume the way you respond on a thread is a representation of how you are going to act in real life.

    Besides, I'm not the one who brought the part about the commission.

    As I said, I just communicated him my number and said to call me/text me to schedule. If it happens, fine. If not, that's fine also.
    It's not strange to me -you expressed your opinions on how you view his contacting you and since it contains so much suspicion I wouldn't bother - wasting his time too. Like I wrote even if you don't outwardly act like that -I expect you would be polite - your bias and negativity likely will be apparent anyway -especially since his job is to read people and focus on body language, etc.

  2. #22
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    I think you have it all wrong.

    It's not about him, but mainly about me.

    The reason why I asked is because I don't want to delude myself into thinking he asked me to go out for coffee because he's interested in me, when it could simply be a business endeavor. It's mainly about me not getting my hopes up, as opposed to me figuring out whether he is after a commission or a new client. I really don't care about this latter part because it's his business, not mine. I just don't want to fool myself into thinking there's an interest beyond the business aspect, that's all.

    You got stuck on the subsequent comments as a result of another's poster's advice and your advice is now being filtered throught this lense.

    If you read the initial OP, I was not talking about money or a commission at all. Another poster brought it up, so I responded accordingly.

    My initial post was rather straight forward I believe and certainly did not convey in any way that I was suspicious towards him, but more so wondering why he reached out out the blue.

    If anything, I wouldn't have posted in the Dating section if I was worried about his commission or business endeavor. This would have gone into the Career section instead.

    I appreciate your advice, but bringing negativity into this thread is really not necessary and I certainly don't want to have to defend myself about something that in my eyes is obvious.
    Last edited by RuedeRivoli; 04-20-2019 at 07:59 AM.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I would meet for coffee, because networking with good recruiters has always proven to be fruitful for me. You never know whether a new job doesn't work out the way you've hoped, or in the event that you are positioned to need someone for your team.

    Recruitment is never limited to the imminent, it's relationship building over time. I'd have the coffee with an eye on that, and should recruiter-man raise anything more social in your discussions, you'll have the opportunity to respond appropriately.

    Either way, enjOy. You don't need to pre-think this.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I would meet for coffee, because networking with good recruiters has always proven to be fruitful for me. You never know whether a new job doesn't work out the way you've hoped, or in the event that you are positioned to need someone for your team.

    Recruitment is never limited to the imminent, it's relationship building over time. I'd have the coffee with an eye on that, and should recruiter-man raise anything more social in your discussions, you'll have the opportunity to respond appropriately.

    Either way, enjOy. You don't need to pre-think this.
    I agree with this but in her last post she wrote she is not interested in meeting him unless he's interested in dating her.

    "I really don't care about this latter part because it's his business, not mine. I just don't want to fool myself into thinking there's an interest beyond the business aspect, that's all."

    On this I agree with Catfeeder and disagree with your perspective unless you have no interest in networking in general.

    OP you raised your belief -skepticism -that this could be for a business reason/commision and you were skeptical that it was to continue a business relationship since that had never happened to you. Then others shared that it was typical. No negativity.

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  6. #25
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    You won't know until you try. It seems like a win-win to me, no matter what. It's good to keep people in your network business-wise, but if this guy wants more, and you are also on board, then meeting for coffee would be a good first step.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by purplepaisley
    You won't know until you try. It seems like a win-win to me, no matter what. It's good to keep people in your network business-wise, but if this guy wants more, and you are also on board, then meeting for coffee would be a good first step.
    Yep, it's a win/win no matter how you slice it. If it turns out to be business-only, then you'll have an answer and some coffee. You may not 'like' that, but crystal ball readings aren't exactly our forte', and sometimes you need to venture something in order to gain something. Good life lesson regardless of the outcome.

    Fingers crossed for you.

  8. #27
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    An update:

    Today was my first day at the new company. He knew it was my first day.

    He tried to call me at 3pm (which is a bit odd, knowing it was my first day). Then he texted me to say he tried to reach me, but was unable to. It's true that in my former companies, you'd usually leave the office at 2/3 pm on your first day.

    He contacted me via his personal mobile number (he popped up on my Whatsapp and a personal picture was shown). I asked him to try and call me back tomorrow around lunch break.

    We'll see what happens.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by RuedeRivoli
    An update:

    Today was my first day at the new company. He knew it was my first day.

    He tried to call me at 3pm (which is a bit odd, knowing it was my first day). Then he texted me to say he tried to reach me, but was unable to. It's true that in my former companies, you'd usually leave the office at 2/3 pm on your first day.

    He contacted me via his personal mobile number (he popped up on my Whatsapp and a personal picture was shown). I asked him to try and call me back tomorrow around lunch break.

    We'll see what happens.
    I think if he was still employed at the recruiter, its not weird to call you. when i used to temp and do contract work or was directly placed, the person who originally placed me or set up the interview would always call me either to congratulate me or touch base to see what my thoughts were - if I was happy with it. After all, if he is now a headhunter somewhere else or is now in charge of hiring at a different company, he is going to want to stay in touch - down the line you may decide to make a change and he can facilitate that.

    If you go to coffee, i would keep it absolutely professional - thank him for setting up the interview , talk about the company culture and say that you will let him know in 3 months what you think after you have been there a bit.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I think if he was still employed at the recruiter, its not weird to call you. when i used to temp and do contract work or was directly placed, the person who originally placed me or set up the interview would always call me either to congratulate me or touch base to see what my thoughts were - if I was happy with it. After all, if he is now a headhunter somewhere else or is now in charge of hiring at a different company, he is going to want to stay in touch - down the line you may decide to make a change and he can facilitate that.

    If you go to coffee, i would keep it absolutely professional - thank him for setting up the interview , talk about the company culture and say that you will let him know in 3 months what you think after you have been there a bit.
    He's not working at the company anymore. He hasn't been employed there for almost three months.

    I understand his need to follow up during the day if he still were employed there/ It makes sense. He's however not. The guy that assisted me during the recruitment process until the offer acceptance, hasn't reached out. Yet, this guy who left the company moons ago reached out today when realistically speaking, he only assisted in the early recruitment process by submitting my CV to my new employer. He left right after.

    Besides, if you're following up, you call the person with your work landline/mobile as do all recruiters. It wasn't a professional number that rang me. He called me from his personal mobile. I just find it odd he won't disclose his current company, nor has he advised me he works at a new company. Thus, pardon me if I think it's odd.

    I went for coffee with other recruiters in the past, so I'm not entirely ignorant to the situation.

    The reason why I find it odd that he called is because he did it during my first day in the middle of the day. I appreciate the follow up, but in the middle of your first day?

    Anyway, I'm not going into this thinking this is a date. Of course not. As I said, we'll see what happens. I don't even know what company he works for now anyway.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RuedeRivoli
    He's not working at the company anymore. He hasn't been employed there for almost three months.

    I understand his need to follow up during the day if he still were employed there/ It makes sense. He's however not. The guy that assisted me during the recruitment process until the offer acceptance, hasn't reached out. Yet, this guy who left the company moons ago reached out today when realistically speaking, he only assisted in the early recruitment process by submitting my CV to my new employer. He left right after.

    Besides, if you're following up, you call the person with your work landline/mobile as do all recruiters. It wasn't a professional number that rang me. He called me from his personal mobile. I just find it odd he won't disclose his current company, nor has he advised me he works at a new company. Thus, pardon me if I think it's odd.

    I went for coffee with other recruiters in the past, so I'm not entirely ignorant to the situation.

    The reason why I find it odd that he called is because he did it during my first day in the middle of the day. I appreciate the follow up, but in the middle of your first day?

    Anyway, I'm not going into this thinking this is a date. Of course not. As I said, we'll see what happens. I don't even know what company he works for now anyway.
    I was a consultant for about 20 years. That's a lot of placements. Every 'good' recruiter who ever placed me has called for a followup on my first day--regardless of whether they were still with the same firm. There's a lot of movement in recruiting. This practice teaches them about both sides of their client relationships. If the guy intends to keep recruiting, he's being smart.

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