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Thread: No easy answers

  1. #1
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    No easy answers

    My ex fiancť lives in plain view in the next building over. After a blowup fight, we abruptly broke up. Within 20 minutes, her ex husband shows up and has been a constant presence since. I have accepted that she isnít who I thought she was and while I struggle to cut every thread of hope for reconciliation, I know Iím better off without her.

    I struggle seeing his truck in her driveway. Looking for anyone to give me a good exercise or something to help cope with it until it no longer bothers me.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Move. If he ex-husband showed up right after your fight, she was already talking to him and probably cheating. You don't have to tolerate looking at it, in my opinion. Start a new chapter and don't be a backup option for this lady in the future like her ex-husband is.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Why do you allow this to get to you? It's your home just as much(this building). I think it would do you good to clear your head with a small weekend trip away. Do not make rash decisions based on impulse or what's merely going on in the past one to two weeks or the past few hours. Ground yourself and start employing your own methods for peacemaking and learning to let go.

    You can also start by not looking outside your window or monitoring your ex's ongoings. Go for a weekend trip. Take a couple of days off actually during the week. Why not? You're too hankered down right now. Lift your spirit.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    No easy answers is the right way to name your post.

    It must be incredibly painful and frustrating. I remember your earlier post about it. You are asking for a quick fix. Unfortunately there ain't one. You need to maintain the NC. and keep busy, fill your day with activities & exercise... Spring is here!

    I cannot imagine having to see the ex parked at hers all the time. I feel for you. Hope it passes soon

  5.  

  6. 04-03-2019, 06:57 PM

  7. #5
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Stop looking out the window.

  8. #6
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Stop looking out the window.
    To my credit, I have stopped getting up in the middle of the night to check, etc. Now itís just when I pull down my road to come home, itís the first thing I see and you canít not see it. Iíve been trying to embrace the idea how lucky I am to find out before a marriage. But it still sucks to know the person you thought she was isnít really that person at all.

  9. #7
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    Move......

  10. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Is there a possibility of moving? It will not only give you closure but will help you not have to continue to suffer in seeing them together right in front of you.

    It hurts now, but you did yourself a huge favour in realizing who she is before it got to be a marriage.

    I honestly think moving would be the best thing you could do right now.

  11. #9
    Originally Posted by jhs011771
    To my credit, I have stopped getting up in the middle of the night to check, etc. Now itís just when I pull down my road to come home, itís the first thing I see and you canít not see it. Iíve been trying to embrace the idea how lucky I am to find out before a marriage. But it still sucks to know the person you thought she was isnít really that person at all.
    You really only have 2 options. You either have to put up with it or find somewhere else to live so you don't have to stalk them anymore.

  12. #10
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    I know I wouldn't be able to not look. Eventually, it'd make me do something rash.

    You need to move.

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