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Thread: Separated husband going on road trip for 12mths

  1. #21
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    Yes Annia you are definitely right. Maybe I just needed to hear this from a caring person like yourself. I will defiinitly have a discussion with him before he leaves. Thank you so much xx

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DianeAllen
    Yes, I have a few friends and family, but unable to confide in them as they thought I was stupid being with him anyway. Maybe I am....but I have been with him for a very long time and its hard to get my head around the fact that he's not in my life anymore.
    Usually there's a reason when family and friends don't like your partner. Also, just because they don't like him, it doesn't mean that they won't listen to you and be there for you. Why not talk to them and why not hang out with them?

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DianeAllen
    Yes Annia you are definitely right. Maybe I just needed to hear this from a caring person like yourself. I will defiinitly have a discussion with him before he leaves. Thank you so much xx
    Great. I know it hurts but at least having something defined will make you have a goal to work towards and will make it easy instead of this not knowing what will happen.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You can confide in an attorney to discuss your options and what it entails when a spouse simply abandons you without filing for divorce. This will help clear up what financial and legal steps you need to take. For the emotional end of things confide in a therapist to help you navigate all this and guide you through this process. Separation is a step to divorce.

    Running away for a year is not a way to improve a marriage. Perhaps he is taking his new mistress along and they will burn through all your assets while you have your head in the sand. This is not about kids dating and he needs a few days of "space". Check all your bank account,s credit cards, your credit report and have a long talk with your banker. You must see an attorney. You can't sit on your hands until the eviction notice is on your door and your bank accounts are cleaned out.
    Originally Posted by DianeAllen
    Yes, I have a few friends and family, but unable to confide in them as they thought I was stupid being with him anyway. Maybe I am....but I have been with him for a very long time and its hard to get my head around the fact that he's not in my life anymore.

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  6. #25
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    I would like to thank everyone who replied to my question regarding my husband's 12mth road trip. I appreciate your time and great advice. I know now what I need to do. Thank you all so much. 🙂

    Regards
    Diane

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You can confide in an attorney to discuss your options and what it entails when a spouse simply abandons you without filing for divorce. This will help clear up what financial and legal steps you need to take. For the emotional end of things confide in a therapist to help you navigate all this and guide you through this process. Separation is a step to divorce.

    Running away for a year is not a way to improve a marriage. Perhaps he is taking his new mistress along and they will burn through all your assets while you have your head in the sand. This is not about kids dating and he needs a few days of "space". Check all your bank account,s credit cards, your credit report and have a long talk with your banker. You must see an attorney. You can't sit on your hands until the eviction notice is on your door and your bank accounts are cleaned out.
    Technically if the dude takes off for a year and you can't reach him - that's grounds for divorce - the reason being abandonment - but not sure if that totally holds because he did tell you he would be gone? I agree to check all bank accounts to make sure he doesn't have access to clean you out

  8. #27
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    I am sorry to hear about you and your husbandís separation. Are the two of you trying to reconcile? Have you considered talking with a professional or trusted mentor/pastor regarding this matter? They could help with how to proceed in the healthiest way possible.

  9. #28
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    Hi, yes we have been trying to reconcile but my husband still wants to go on his trip. The real problem here is we have had a "On again, Off again" relationship for a while now, and I feel age has a big effect on this. He is 7 years older than myself and he is retired. That makes him want to travel (not that he can really afford to do, but he "ruffs" it a lot of times.) I am not at retirement age and still need to work. I understand his needs to go travelling, but it seems very selfish of him to want this and leave me behind for such a long period of time.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    There is no such thing as an on/off marriage. You need an attorney. You are separated, no?
    Originally Posted by DianeAllen
    The real problem here is we have had a "On again, Off again" relationship for a while now. it seems very selfish of him to want this and leave me behind for such a long period of time.

  11. #30
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    If he has been trying to work it out with you, would telling you he was leaving for 12 months be something he said to get a reaction out of you?

    Honestly, if he wanted to be married, he might go away, but he would also be going on three day weekends with you or inquiring about your vacation time.

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