How can I stop being such a pushover and speak up for myself?

I'm over my child's dad, wouldn't ever be with him again in this lifetime even if I had the choice...I do miss our friendship but I respect that hes doing his best to make sure his girlfriend is happy. He cheated on me our whole relationship with her & that's just that. I moved on with my life and he did also... I don't any part of his life or to know any of his business and I want him to stay outta mine.

After all the drama, I finally changed my number stood up for myself... Told him I never wanted to meet his girlfriend, because I feel like that's a part of his life that I don't wanna be involved with. The visitation with our child is supervised so he comes every once in a while to visit.

Yesterday he bought his girlfriend up to my house again without asking. I was fuming inside but stayed quiet because I didn't want to seem like I couldn't take a little time out my life to be nice.... Later on I spoke how I felt about it but I feel like I look crazy for bringing it up way too late..

I just want respect people try walking all over me and when I don't speak up it's not respected so I'm struggling alot with losing my cool and learning to stay quiet... This is from many years of being the shy girl...

Am I wrong for being mad ? Do I sound bitter or resentful. I just like want my privacy and not for him to include his girlfriend in everything. I don't know much about her so why does she get the honor of knowing me. I'm not interested

You have the say as far as who crosses the threshold into your home. Plain and simple, dont let her in. You dont have to allow anyone on your property that you dont want there, outside of your child's father. There's nothing wrong with saying so. I would have, so no, you dont sound crazy. I dont think anyone would have any respect for the woman who willingly dated a taken man with a child. She's trash anyways.

You don't get to decide what he "includes" his girlfriend in ("not for him to include his girlfriend in everything"), that's not your decision to make...but you DO have the right to refuse her entry into your own home if you choose.

What do the custody, visitation and child support agreements I presume you filed with the court specify? You could have specified that only your child's father and certain members of his family may be present during visits.

You DID follow through with filing agreements in court...correct? Previously you were resisting that suggestion.

You get to choose who comes in your home so tell him she is not welcome.

Definitely. If he does it again tell him she has to wait in the car. You don't want to confuse the child.

I think you did the right thing in not starting drama. Your child doesn't need to witness her father and mother bickering over something so petty in my humble opinion.

May I ask why you get so riled about her showing up when you don't want anything to do with him and you never want to be with him again? She is going to be in your daughter's life as much as these supervised visits will allow so it would be in yours and your daughters best interests to let your anger over her rest. Easier said then done I do realize but not impossible to accomplish.

How long will his visitation be supervised and how does your daughter feel about her fathers new partner?

I think most people, including myself, run into problems when we can only see two options: doormat OR raving lunatic. There's a huge amount of real estate between those two extremes, so the goal isn't to choose from two lousy options, but to 'right fit' a choice from all of the other options in between. The results are called 'balance'.

There's a difference between aggressive versus assertive, and passive versus picking which battles are really all that important to you. You can be assertive even while you examine how much ex's GF 'must' matter, including deciding how much of you own stomach lining you'll want to destroy based on her proximity.

Nobody here can decide this for you. On private consideration you may discover that your virulence against the woman serves no purpose other than to create an unnecessary barrier to co-parenting your child with two people who will never win your People Of The Year award, but with whom offering harmony to your babe may be a huge incentive to get along. On the other hand, you may decide that you're not ready to attempt such a lofty goal at this time, so assertiveness in exploring new resources could be your best bet.

There are several ways you can call a boundary and enforce it. Have you sought legal advice from your lawyer or legal aid? What are the terms of your custody? Does ex come to take the child away for a period, or are his visitations in your home? If at home, why not set up another, more neutral location, along with a social worker or family member to supervise rather than yourself? Can your lawyer or legal aid set more restrictive terms on who can be present when the ex visits the child?

If you're winging all of this on your own, reconsider pursuing the resources to negotiate and supervise better visitation conditions. Otherwise, you're the one putting yourself out on a limb solo, and you may want to ask how well that's serving you.

Head high, and write more if it helps.

Why is it supervised visitation? Arrange to make the visitation at a neutral place such as his mother's place, a library, etc. Do not communicate your feelings about his gf or anything. Keep it strictly to the visitation and your son.

If you asked that she not approach your home, she is trespassing. If you haven't, you can't throw a fit when it happens. A visit to the courts or with your attorney would be a good idea to revise things so that your child is not subjected to more conflict. He shouldn't have to ask if he can bring her. The answer should be no and the visitation needs to be elsewhere.

"Every once in a while"? Make sure there is a very specific visitation schedule in place. Also make sure that your child is receiving the appropriate support. Visitation should not be a chaotic ad hoc situation, with a parade of different people and people fighting. It's time to forget his gf and worry about sustaining stability for your son..

The visitation with our child is supervised so he comes every once in a while to visit. Yesterday he bought his girlfriend up to my house again without asking.