Fantastic date, but cause for concern?

Had a fantastic date the other night. Met someone who ticks all that I want with a girl, but obviously trying not to get my hopes up too soon.

We met up and she said I was taller than she expected. I teased her a fair bit, was charming, smooth, etc. There were no awkward silences and we were both touching each other a lot. When we were bowling she was literally falling into my arms.

After we left bowling and had a drink there, we walked over to a different bar. During the course of walking over there, I stopped and turned to her and she asked why we were stopping. I guided her by the arm, pulled her in to kiss her. She reciprocated and we continued walking. She then said “very smooth” and I said “I always go for what I want” with a smirk.

We asked each other about which country is the best to travel to, what would be her place of choice and we both found out we had Italy in common. She then started using “we” like we were already planning it, not sure she realised this.

We drank at the bar, flirted a lot etc. She insisted on paying for the drinks and jokingly took the bill out of reach from me. We wrestled with our hands in a jokey way (but I used this as an excuse to make more physical contact).

I did notice as I was browsing the drinks menu, she was peaking at her phone on her lap but I think that was because it was heading towards midnight and she lives with her parents so maybe she was wanting to let them know she was going to be late back? I wasn't bothered at the time, that and when I went to the toilet was the only time she pulled her phone out.

She also made a joke saying that she was making me laugh more than I was making her laugh. I continued the conversation and when she laughed, I made a joke saying "Looks like I just made you laugh again".

I decided to end the date first, before her, and I said we'll get going. She had a brief look of disappointment which I assumed she didn't want the date to end, but hey, leave them wanting more..

I kept acting secretive to some of her questions, but playfully revealing some information and sometimes revealing it if she revealed it first, etc.

At the end of the date I took her to her tram stop and pulled her in to kiss again. She passionately kissed me and put her arms around my neck. I slowly moved my head away after a few seconds but it was like she couldn’t get enough and she continued kissing me. After a few seconds I slightly pulled away, then she tugged me by the top of my shirt and pulled me in to kiss again.

I then said “That’s all you’re getting for now” and I smirked at her. She then slapped me on my chest and said “Oh ha ha...” with a smile.

I've had dates where I've had a brief kiss with a girl, like with my ex, that was a good 5-6 seconds kiss and we left it there.. But this one, she completely sucked my face off and wouldn't let me go when I slightly pulled away both times. I like women who are forward like that, but wondered if that was a red flag for a first date from an outside perspective?

I think you are reading too much into the kiss. A kiss is a kiss and she seems to like you passionately which is a good sign. Does length of a kiss really matter? I see no red flags, sounds like a good and fun date. Just don't play into the dating games and be yourself.

Alcohol! Blame the drinking. Loosened up her inhibition most likely.

At any rate, seems like you connected and had fun. Take her out again, and not drink! See what she does.

Either way, aren't you men supposed to love this type of attention??

"You must remember this

A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh

The fundamental things apply

As time goes by"

Thanks guys!

Turns out I got a text last night but I was out myself. I replied this morning.

She said “Yeah it was really fun I am so proud of myself to be honest. I think I'm free next Saturday if that suits you x”

I replied “Yeah, I’m free Saturday. Meet you outside that tram stop I dropped you off at for 6pm? x”

Not sure I’m overreading into it again, but she “thinks” she’s free Saturday? Is that a bad sign? I offered a time and place so we’ll see how that plays out.

Suppose I wasn’t used to a girl kissing my face off on a first date. We only had 2-3 drinks and she didn’t seem drunk, but maybe loose enough to do that.

You are reading way too much into things. I use to do this all the time. It's frustrating. Try to distract your mind.Try not talking about it. When a thought comes in your mind about analyzing her actions, tell yourself you will allow yourself to think about it for a specific amount of time at a specific time. Make that time 30 minutes for example and gradually lower it to 10,5, etc.

That is what helped me. You may not be able to trust your gut instincts, but this is exactly what you are supposed to do and let everything flow naturally. Once I stopped asking for advice from literally everyone, my mind was peaceful and calm again.

Do you suffer from anxiety? I did, and most likely still do, but have learned to control it. Maybe look into that.

Take care of yourself!Everything's going fine! You know what to do!

You are reading way too much into things. I use to do this all the time. It's frustrating. Try to distract your mind.Try not talking about it. When a thought comes in your mind about analyzing her actions, tell yourself you will allow yourself to think about it for a specific amount of time at a specific time. Make that time 30 minutes for example and gradually lower it to 10,5, etc.

 

That is what helped me. You may not be able to trust your gut instincts, but this is exactly what you are supposed to do and let everything flow naturally. Once I stopped asking for advice from literally everyone, my mind was peaceful and calm again.

 

Do you suffer from anxiety? I did, and most likely still do, but have learned to control it. Maybe look into that.

 

Take care of yourself!Everything's going fine! You know what to do!

Yeah, I suffer from it. A bit of social anxiety too but I've learned to face things head on that I'm uncomfortable with so I did. One of those was stopping the girl halfway during the date and going for the kiss as I usually leave it at the end.

I'm in a much better place than I was at the start of the year, so all is good.

If we confirm the date for Saturday, do I leave communication until I see her? Unless she texts me in the mean time, but I can't see that as she doesn't seem to text much compared to other women I've dated.

Yeah, I suffer from it. A bit of social anxiety too but I've learned to face things head on that I'm uncomfortable with so I did. One of those was stopping the girl halfway during the date and going for the kiss as I usually leave it at the end.

 

I'm in a much better place than I was at the start of the year, so all is good.

 

If we confirm the date for Saturday, do I leave communication until I see her? Unless she texts me in the mean time, but I can't see that as she doesn't seem to text much compared to other women I've dated.

I like the LC between dates... a little bit of contact only

I like the LC between dates... a little bit of contact only

Sounds good to me. Before the first date we sent a text to each other maybe once or twice a day so the texting spanned out the full week before meeting up.

My only concern is when I searched her on Facebook, she has around 250 friends but one of them is my ex from two months ago. Granted it wasn't a serious relationship, only went out for three months, but noticed on one of this girl's profile pictures, my ex had liked it. They both have the same profession of teaching, but work at different schools.

And funnily enough, I went back to when me and my ex announced our relationship on Facebook in July to find that this girl I went on the date with had liked it at the time.

I still have the same profile picture and I have a very unusual name, so can't imagine she doesn't know who I am. Afaik they aren't close friends, but most likely know each other.

Had a fantastic date the other night. Met someone who ticks all that I want with a girl, but obviously trying not to get my hopes up too soon.

 

We met up and she said I was taller than she expected. I teased her a fair bit, was charming, smooth, etc. There were no awkward silences and we were both touching each other a lot. When we were bowling she was literally falling into my arms.

 

After we left bowling and had a drink there, we walked over to a different bar. During the course of walking over there, I stopped and turned to her and she asked why we were stopping. I guided her by the arm, pulled her in to kiss her. She reciprocated and we continued walking. She then said “very smooth” and I said “I always go for what I want” with a smirk.

 

We asked each other about which country is the best to travel to, what would be her place of choice and we both found out we had Italy in common. She then started using “we” like we were already planning it, not sure she realised this.

 

We drank at the bar, flirted a lot etc. She insisted on paying for the drinks and jokingly took the bill out of reach from me. We wrestled with our hands in a jokey way (but I used this as an excuse to make more physical contact).

 

I did notice as I was browsing the drinks menu, she was peaking at her phone on her lap but I think that was because it was heading towards midnight and she lives with her parents so maybe she was wanting to let them know she was going to be late back? I wasn't bothered at the time, that and when I went to the toilet was the only time she pulled her phone out.

 

She also made a joke saying that she was making me laugh more than I was making her laugh. I continued the conversation and when she laughed, I made a joke saying "Looks like I just made you laugh again".

 

I decided to end the date first, before her, and I said we'll get going. She had a brief look of disappointment which I assumed she didn't want the date to end, but hey, leave them wanting more..

 

I kept acting secretive to some of her questions, but playfully revealing some information and sometimes revealing it if she revealed it first, etc.

 

At the end of the date I took her to her tram stop and pulled her in to kiss again. She passionately kissed me and put her arms around my neck. I slowly moved my head away after a few seconds but it was like she couldn’t get enough and she continued kissing me. After a few seconds I slightly pulled away, then she tugged me by the top of my shirt and pulled me in to kiss again.

 

I then said “That’s all you’re getting for now” and I smirked at her. She then slapped me on my chest and said “Oh ha ha...” with a smile.

 

I've had dates where I've had a brief kiss with a girl, like with my ex, that was a good 5-6 seconds kiss and we left it there.. But this one, she completely sucked my face off and wouldn't let me go when I slightly pulled away both times. I like women who are forward like that, but wondered if that was a red flag for a first date from an outside perspective?

I don't think there are any red flags here, man haha. Hook line and sinker, I think you played your cards very well and had an awesome date.

Yeah, I suffer from it. A bit of social anxiety too but I've learned to face things head on that I'm uncomfortable with so I did. One of those was stopping the girl halfway during the date and going for the kiss as I usually leave it at the end.

 

I'm in a much better place than I was at the start of the year, so all is good.

 

If we confirm the date for Saturday, do I leave communication until I see her? Unless she texts me in the mean time, but I can't see that as she doesn't seem to text much compared to other women I've dated.

That's amazing! It's good that you found a technique that suits you!

All I'm saying is do the connection with this behavior and your anxiety. Maybe there is one, maybe not, but I believe there is. ou are unsure, that causes anxiety, that makes you ask all these questions

I don't think there are any red flags here, man haha. Hook line and sinker, I think you played your cards very well and had an awesome date.

I know she's a slow texter but I've not had a reply for 8 hours now, since I asked her if 6pm would be good. She's online on POF, so I don't get it.. Maybe she just isn't interested but she was on the date and suggested Saturday. Think I'll leave it.. If she was interested in another date then she'd have found time to reply to me instead of going online on POF.

Shame as I thought I found someone I really clicked with who liked me, guess not.

I know she's a slow texter but I've not had a reply for 8 hours now, since I asked her if 6pm would be good. She's online on POF, so I don't get it.. Maybe she just isn't interested but she was on the date and suggested Saturday. Think I'll leave it.. If she was interested in another date then she'd have found time to reply to me instead of going online on POF.

 

Shame as I thought I found someone I really clicked with who liked me, guess not.

Sometimes being active online is glitchy and/or misleading. Don't read too much into it for now.

Sometimes being active online is glitchy and/or misleading. Don't read too much into it for now.

 

I heard if your app connects to wifi, it can cause that on POF. Guess they do that to boost numbers. She's free to use it as am I, we've only had one date.

 

Anyway brief update on what happened..

 

Nine hours after I text, as I'm tapping on my phone screen she starts ringing me but it rings off. I don't know if I had accidentally rejected the call or she mistakenly phoned me as soon after she texts me "Is this another secret date activity? Any chance you could do Friday instead? Don't worry if not x"

 

I left it around 7-8 minutes then decided to call her, instead of replying to her text.

 

She asked who it was and I said it was me and that Friday is fine. She said that my number came through as unknown so I said it was a problem with my phone. We both agreed on 6pm outside the tram stop on Friday and she confirmed if I meant [insert name of tram stop]. I said yeah and wished her a nice day, then said I have to go and get a few jobs done so I'll see her then. We said goodbye and ended the call.

FB, Twitter, Instagram, social media in general, even texting (different styles) have literally destroyed relationships.

Forget about her FB! Don't read it. It's social media BS, focus on how you interact with her, in person.

Otherwise, you will go crazy.

I know a guy who literally dumped a woman he appeared to be falling in love with all because of what "another person" had posted on her social media.

He never even confronted her. Just jumped to his own conclusion based on what he had read and dumped her.

Then proceeds to ignore her.

Like I said, social media gets people crazy and destroys.

Ok, so sounds like you have a date!

FB, Twitter, Instagram, social media in general, even texting (different styles) have literally destroyed relationships.

 

Forget about her FB! Don't read it. It's social media BS, focus on how you interact with her, in person.

 

Otherwise, you will go crazy.

 

I know a guy who literally dumped a woman he appeared to be falling in love with all because of what "another person" had posted on her social media.

 

He never even confronted her. Just jumped to his own conclusion based on what he had read and dumped her.

 

Then proceeds to ignore her.

 

Like I said, social media gets people crazy and destroys.

I can never help it, but least we have a date. She seemed happy and giggly on the phone and I think she wasn't expecting me to call her.

Although now I'm worried I looked too keen. She took 9 hours to reply, I get a missed call and I phone her around 10 minutes after.

I'm guessing she has a different date on Saturday, maybe it's why she shifted ours. But I'm assuming again, could be family or friends related. Guess I'll just have to impress her again! Unless she cancels last minute. I'm worried now she's changed the day, what if it happens again. Only as I'm booking an escape room for us and I can't get a refund if she can't go. I'll find it hard to get a friend to go last minute too.

^ First of all, take a second to BREATHEEEEEEEE.

Seems like you're stressing yourself out and creating problems where there are none to begin with!

I felt anxious reading your overanalytical posts. You need to relax and remember, she had an amazing time and she sounded happy. This isn't about other people, stop thinking about external influences. Just bc someone takes a while to reply doesn't mean anything. Stop overthinking! You've been on one date and it seemed like it went wonderfully. Now is the time to take your time! YOU GOT THIS!

^ First of all, take a second to BREATHEEEEEEEE.

 

Seems like you're stressing yourself out and creating problems where there are none to begin with!

I felt anxious reading your overanalytical posts. You need to relax and remember, she had an amazing time and she sounded happy. This isn't about other people, stop thinking about external influences. Just bc someone takes a while to reply doesn't mean anything. Stop overthinking! You've been on one date and it seemed like it went wonderfully. Now is the time to take your time! YOU GOT THIS!

Ugh, I wish we could still "like" or "thank" posts!

I echo what Honeycomb wrote.. You're gonna psyche yourself out.

And you 'can' help it, saying you can't is a cop out.

If you must read her SM, take with a grain of salt.

It's meaningless in my opinion.

I even said once, with regard to 'this' forum and others I post on, if any man I was dating ever read some of the cr** I post, they would think I was whacked out of my mind!

It all sounds good, think positive!

Damn! I thought I was a bad over thinker but I think you win that prize! Everything sounds like it’s going well, but if you keep over analyzing like this you will ruin any potential you might have with this girl. She sounds into you, some people just take a long time to reply to texts, she’s clearly that type of person so if you don’t like it pick up a phone and call her. Her waiting so long to reply could also be a way of her hinting to you that she’s rather get a phone call than a text.

Thanks guys! Yeah, this is getting out of hand so I might get help for it. On reflection I’m getting too worried after one date and this will show in person without me knowing it, cause things to go bad, so at least I know the date is on unless she cancels.

A girl who comes near my work added me on Facebook so I asked her out for Saturday. Funnily enough, the other girl changing our date from Saturday to Friday means I now have two dates with two girls this weekend!

Regarding the other girl, I’m going to proceed in calling her from now on as it shows confidence. I’m wondering whether she phoned me, rang off quickly and then texted me to test my confidence if i’d return with a phone call, which I did.

It’s Monday today and our second date is Friday. Do I leave things until the day of the date or do I contact her half way through the week? (If she doesn’t reach out first). I’m used to girls texting me every day, so this girl’s texting patterns have thrown me off a little lol.

Feels weird seeing the texting conversation with her asking if Friday is okay and me having not sent a reply, even though I phoned her to answer it. Would it be okay to leave communication until our date on Friday or is that too long?

I usually just joke around and send a late thumbs-up, or delete the message, just a quirk of mine because I don't like leaving texts or emails unanswered.

You could send a joke in the meantime, and you should follow up a day before the date to make sure you're still on.

I think of these types of situations like a ballroom dancer. You're the lead here, so whatever you do, do it confidently and with a purpose. Your partner (in this example, your date!) will follow confidence and actions that have a clear purpose.

Honestly - just try to relax.

All this over-thinking is making what should be fun into an ordeal. If you just contact her if you feel like it - THAT shows confidence; thinking about how it will appear to her is not, and is crazy-making for you. Chances are that she doesn't perceive things the way you've intended them to be seen in the first place.

Playing dating games will be attractive to game-players, not people you can have an open, honest relationship with. Trying to be something you're not will ensure you end up with the wrong person. It sounds as though she's a lovely girl who's interested in being out and about, having fun - so treat it like that, rather than carefully calculating how long you should leave it between calls/replies to txts/whatever. You're planning dates, not delicate diplomatic missions!

Good luck!

I usually just joke around and send a late thumbs-up, or delete the message, just a quirk of mine because I don't like leaving texts or emails unanswered.

 

You could send a joke in the meantime, and you should follow up a day before the date to make sure you're still on.

 

I think of these types of situations like a ballroom dancer. You're the lead here, so whatever you do, do it confidently and with a purpose. Your partner (in this example, your date!) will follow confidence and actions that have a clear purpose.

 

I was debating leaving a text on Wednesday saying "Hope you're having a great week, looking forward to Friday" but wouldn't mind some advice on this. I'm great with the in person stuff but I can and probably will ruin it through text, this is why I'm glad she isn't so big on texting!