To Stay or to Move??

I feel like I am very much indecisive in this topic.

Story is that I am in a graduate program expecting to graduate in December. I'll be a mid-level provider in healthcare. 2 years ago, I loved from the Midwest to NY for the school and I like it here. Currently living with my significant other. School was rough and been very stressful on me for the last 2 years. Now with graduation inching closer, I have to think of what and where I"ll be getting my first job. I have tons of student loans to pay off (over 100K). The thing is, while I do like it here in NY, I have no familly here. It's just the two of us and it's been hard. From time to time I miss having family close by.

And now we are looking for job openings, and I feel like there are a lot of opportunities for a career here and hospitals are recruiting new grads. I was thinking that if I got a job here I wouldn't mind extending my stay for a few years to gain experience. At the same time, I kind of don't want to stay.

1. I'm in my late 20's. We're talking about starting a family once I get a job and we're financially stable. So being close to family would be nice.

2. There's no one we are close here, in case anything were to happen.

The alternatives are:

1. Go to California for a few years. I have an aunt around LA are who help raise me up. And if I needed something urgent, I know she'd be able to be there for me. So, that's family. Also, I LOVE California.

2. Move back to Midwest where my parents and family are. Lower pay, but cost of living is a lot cheaper than in NY. However, I don't feel like I want to move back right away.

The thing is, my heart is in California. I fell in love with the place before my grad school and now I want to move there for at least 2-3 years to get some experience and just to live there. That would definitely make me happy. Since my parents are in the midwest, I know that eventually I'll be back to help take care of them, etc. But I kind of don't want to move there right away because I still want to explore other areas.

Another thing is that there will be some recruiters to school tomorrow to talk about recruiting new grads in our field. I'm just so conflicted, I'm not sure what to do. Finding a job will be harder out of state due to interview, etc. There's no way I move to Cali before I get a job there because of money issues.

What do you guys think? I feel like I've made up my mind last month that I won't be staying in NY but these recruiting events don't really help.

Thanks!

Life's short, follow your heart! Start applying for jobs in Cali and see what opportunities come your way.

Yes, life is too short .....so follow your heart and come to California and see how we roll. chi

I'd actually go where the sure opportunity is (or stay, as it may turn out). California isn't set to break off from the mainland any time soon. I think if you can land your first job there, great. Send some resumes out and spend a couple weeks out there at your aunt's to knock out some interviews. However, you'll find yourself with much more maneuverability with some experience under your belt. In this day and age, employers are privy to the fact they most likely aren't going to keep a fresh graduate for more than a couple years and have adapted accordingly. I wouldn't turn down a good offer from any of the three regions you're looking into.

I'd worry about securing a good job first and make getting that experience under your belt a priority. Once you have that, it's so much easier to move to wherever you want to and secure a good job while you are at it. If your college has a strong placement program and a lot of job opportunities, do not waste it. You don't want to end up in a situation where you have a degree and can't get a job because it seems like every employer wants x years of experience and won't even bother to talk to you without it.

Thank you so much for all of your responses.

I've seriously thought about this because I am turning 27 soon and the next 2-3 years of my life will be big for me.

It's tough because I moved to NY from family to start this program. I was at the point of my life where I wasn't exactly happy and thought moving away from family for a while would serve as fresh air. How wrong was I. After being here for 2 years I realized that I really miss being close to family. Then I thought that maybe 2-3 years in NY after graduation wouldn't be so bad so that I could get some experience but now I feel like I can't stand the thought of being here another year. I hate the house that I live in...there's barely space and rent is expensive as it is. Not saying that California will be any cheaper, but I really liked it there both times that I visited CA.

I'm just not sure at this point as scoring my first job will be tough. Most of my colleagues are applying already and I still haven't because it'd be out of state. Haha, I didn't expect location would be so stressful.

Thank you so much for all of your responses.

 

I've seriously thought about this because I am turning 27 soon and the next 2-3 years of my life will be big for me.

 

It's tough because I moved to NY from family to start this program. I was at the point of my life where I wasn't exactly happy and thought moving away from family for a while would serve as fresh air. How wrong was I. After being here for 2 years I realized that I really miss being close to family. Then I thought that maybe 2-3 years in NY after graduation wouldn't be so bad so that I could get some experience but now I feel like I can't stand the thought of being here another year. I hate the house that I live in...there's barely space and rent is expensive as it is. Not saying that California will be any cheaper, but I really liked it there both times that I visited CA.

 

I'm just not sure at this point as scoring my first job will be tough. Most of my colleagues are applying already and I still haven't because it'd be out of state. Haha, I didn't expect location would be so stressful.

Look, even a year, even six months is better than graduated and unemployed and now it's been a year and you are still unemployed. Get your hands on a job, worry about the rest later. If you can get a job with a large company with offices in CA, you can always look for a transfer. You have got to focus on how you are going to pay your bills once you are out and I can tell you honestly that graduates 6 months out and still unemployed, start to stink in the job market like rotten fish.

Btw, the deal with being happy.....where ever you go, there you are. You always take yourself with you. So sort yourself out why you are so unhappy here and there and there, because honestly, until you do some internal spring cleaning, changing locations won't make you happy for long as there is a mix of good and bad everywhere and the internal misery will follow you until you resolve that for yourself. Either way, you are going to discover a whole new level of misery when you have a degree and no work and no ability to pay bills.

You recently said BL:

"I've come to point in my life where instead of wanting to settle down and have a family, I still want to travel, enrich myself with the life out there so that I won't look back when I'm in my 40-50s and regret not wanting to do things that I wanted to do.

"

You also remarked that you didn't like the career for which you are studying.

So?

Wherever you go you'll have to apply for the state license.

1. Go to California for a few years. I have an aunt around LA are who help raise me up. And if I needed something urgent, I know she'd be able to be there for me. So, that's family. Also, I LOVE California.

2. Move back to Midwest where my parents and family are. Lower pay, but cost of living is a lot cheaper than in NY. However, I don't feel like I want to move back right away.

Thank you all!!

I guess one month later and things changed a bit. I've been so confused on so many things the last few months and now the fog is starting to clear up. THere will be some changes and I totally agree that I need to sort myself out. The career is great in itself in medical field. I do like helping people. Probably not something that I would re-do but at this point in time and how much debts I have, I'll be ok with working in this field. At the end of the day it's me helping people or saving lives.

I think the choice of either staying or moving has become simpler. I still don't want to stay in New York because I don't think I want to stay out here in the east coast with absolutely no one. So it'll be either in the Midwest near my parents or the West Coast close to my aunts. I have some friends in both areas, so at least I'll have some company as well. My boards isn't until January and won't get the result back until end of that month and takes roughly a couple months after that to get certfied, so that buys me some time for licensing and job hunting.

If you are living with your significant other and you talk of starting a family, where does HE want to move? Where is this relationship going? If you want to get married, get married. If he is not marriage material, find someone else - but you can't singlehandedly decide where that's going to be - making it your sole decision.

Is there a third option? Can you start working in NY? You guys are not married and there are no kids for anyone to help you with, so why not just start working. You have good connections having gone to school in the area. You could work in NY for a year, maybe 2, start making some money, seeing what you can bank and then once you have some time under your belt at work and are not the unemployed student, you can apply for jobs somewhere else, and move when you get something. My cousins in the medical field did better by working near where they graduated and building up their references before moving as well.

If you are living with your significant other and you talk of starting a family, where does HE want to move? Where is this relationship going? If you want to get married, get married. If he is not marriage material, find someone else - but you can't singlehandedly decide where that's going to be - making it your sole decision.

 

Is there a third option? Can you start working in NY? You guys are not married and there are no kids for anyone to help you with, so why not just start working. You have good connections having gone to school in the area. You could work in NY for a year, maybe 2, start making some money, seeing what you can bank and then once you have some time under your belt at work and are not the unemployed student, you can apply for jobs somewhere else, and move when you get something. My cousins in the medical field did better by working near where they graduated and building up their references before moving as well.

That seems very reasonable. Though for me now, the relationship is a no-go. We just broke up after 10 years of knowing each other. So no, he won't be around. Before that, he was fine with wherever so that wasn't a problem.

But I literally don't have anyone here I can rely on in case anything happened. Just the thought of something urgent happening and I'm out here on my own doesn't really sit well with me, you know?