Broke No Contact

Hi!

I have been in no contact for about six weeks when I checked my ex fb page. He posted that he was having a couples dinner and extended an open invitation to everyone on his friends list (we are not friends on fb any longer). Me being caught off guard with the couple’s dinner, I sent him a text saying I was doing an activity we did together and thought of him. I asked how things were and that we should chat when I got back in town. The very next day after I sent my text, he changed his status from a couples dinner to just a dinner for anyone serious about attending (everyone thinks he changed his status because I reached out and he may still want me). He has yet to respond to my text and I haven’t contacted him again. It’s been three days since I’ve returned home and five since I sent my text.

Honestly, if he hadn’t posted about the couples dinner, I would have never reached out. But now that I did and he changed the status, I feel sort of obligated to call. Plus I do want to talk to him and see if he’s still the same or if he regrets my leaving him.

Reason for the breakup, he was 100% committed but I took my time and he got tired of me being standoffish. But then I got on on-board and he started straddling the fence with me. He started speaking to me very mean and blowing up at very small things. He kept throwing up how I didn’t really want him in the beginning and being wishy-washy. He lost his job some months ago and having financial troubles. We were together almost a year and never had sex (we both wanted to wait for marriage). I made every effort to rectify my being standoffish and committed to the relationship. The final straw was I did something very nice for him and he turned it into a negative (got him some things for his yard). So I texted him that he needed mental therapy and to never contact me again. He replied “deleted” and we haven’t contacted each other until my text.

So I guess my question(s) is, should I bother to call him or should I leave it alone? Does it seem like he changed his status because he didn’t want me to see it or maybe they broke up? What do I say when I call? Should I have expected a response? I didn’t think he would and honestly if I was him, I would not have texted back either.

I’m still mad we ended things on a bad note but I refuse to let anyone disrespect or treat me poorly. Not sure if his outside issues were affecting how he related to me or not…..thoughts?

It's hard to say why he changed the status.

It's possible he realized it got a rise out of you and doesn't want one.

The fact that he hasn't responded nor reached out should tell you something.

If you still feel the need to try to talk to him then be prepared for something negative.

If you can handle that then go ahead.

I'm not sure why you would want to talk to him seeing the way the relationship ended.

He seemed to be behaving badly and forced your hand to get you leave.

Personally, I would leave it alone.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but consider the two possibilities here. First is that he just changed that status for some completely different reason and wasn't intending it for you especially, in which case if you call him you'll be further breaking NC for no particularly good reason and setting yourself up to get hurt. The second possibility is that he did change that status for your benefit, but if that's all he's willing to do at this point, and not even reply to your text, then how do imagine things will be if you call him? At best, it'll be a power trip for him and at worse he may simply not want to talk to you. Either way, it's not a good foundation for reconciliation, friendship or just moving on. You sent the text. Ball is in his court now.

Doesn't sound like he treated you very well. He seemed to be interested when you were challenge, but as soon as he had you, he lost it. Not a healthy dynamic. Doesn't sound like you can win with this guy.

He hasn't responded to your communication, I don't understand why you would call him.

How much of the relationship did he treat you disrespectfully?

I would let sleeping dogs lie. The relationship sounded unstable/unhappy and you were correct with this text: "I texted him that he needed mental therapy and to never contact me again"

Do not let nostalgia or loneliness get the best of you. He did not initiate contact, no less invite you to any sort of dinner.

Don't creep his social media no less look for hidden meanings. Regroup/maintain your dignity and go no contact, block him from all social media.

I sent him a text saying I was doing an activity we did together and thought of him. He has yet to respond to my text. We were together almost a year and never had sex. So

Just let it go. You were doing fine before the messaging and youll do fine if you just let this go.

' Plus I do want to talk to him and see if he’s still the same or if he regrets my leaving him.'

How could he regret your leaving him? It sounds like he had no choice in the matter. If I was him you wouldn't be able to look at my Facebook page, or text me.

Sorry! I really dont get this. You say mention you broke no contact? No contact is for dumpees who need to heal after a break up.

Yet you mention: "Reason for the breakup, he was 100% committed but I took my time and he got tired of me being standoffish."

So if you are doing NO CONTACT and breaking it. Are you being more stand offish to him and making him more confused?

I m not understanding why you are doing no contact while he is commited and you are avoiding him and then reaching out.