simple question, what are the reasons why women date much older guys?

[samsoner]

And, what's the difference between an older man taking care of a younger woman vs. a young guy taking care of a woman his age? What does a woman mean exactly when she wants to be with a man that makes her feel secure?

 

I visited another forum (outside of enotalone) that had college girls talking about their preferences for older guys. I'm still in college and a few years before I tried to date women around my same age who were fun, had interesting personalities, intelligent, and loved to do a variety of things beyond the party lifestyle.

 

But, no matter how hard I tried, I could never get into a relationship of any kind with them. I was always the "friend", or worse they didn't answer emails or a phone call anymore. Then, through friends and associates I found out that the same women dated guys who were 30 or 40 years older than them. Thus I withdrew from dating, and focused on my job and talents. I developed an attitude where it was more fun to do what I liked doing than focus intently on getting women in bed, developing an LTR and then settling down like a "normal" guy.

 

The reason why I'm going back to dating is because I'm going to attend a new school and I've learned (from older buddies) that you can date without feeling pressured to settle down. But the old problem of women dating older guys hasn't gone away.

 

I want to believe that I can compete with the unknown 45 year old corporate exec, the 56 year old bank manager, or the 38 year old art director who can get women to flock to them easily. But how? What are the assets a young guy should have in order to convince a young woman that not all guys her age are IMMATURE? I certainly don't see myself as an immature person.

[adahy]

It's mainly about security and cash. Don't let a woman tell you otherwise!!!!!!

[Leonhart]

Evolutionary reasons. Greater status, earning power, confidence, some women even like older looking men and find them sexy.

 

It's not just girls wanting older men. Men also like younger women, hence the bond is strengthened by both sexes wanting the same thing.

 

Oh, I just wanted to add that I'm talking a FEW years older, say 5 or so, not 20+ years older. That's less common, and almost always for monetary reasons.

[ghost69]

father figure. most women that do that are daddy's little angels.

[adahy]

Evolutionary reasons. Greater status, earning power, confidence, some women even like older looking men and find them sexy.

 

It's not just girls wanting older men. Men also like younger women, hence the bond is strengthened by both sexes wanting the same thing.

 

Good answer. I would generally agree.

 

However, I have known quite a few younger women unhappy with their older partners. However, getting that new Lexus on their birthday is the bond that keeps it together.

[Leonhart]

That is why I re-edited my post.

 

After a certain age limit, it starts to get a little freaky. I'll admit, I tend to like younger girls myself, but I don't know what a 30 year old woman would see in a 70 year old man, aside from a meal ticket.

[Biffy]

I agree with Wilhelmm also a lot of these girls have daddy issues.

[musicguy]

there is a girl who's 17 in the same state as I am and she likes me and I'm 10 years older than her

[adahy]

That is why I re-edited my post.

 

After a certain age limit, it starts to get a little freaky. I'll admit, I tend to like younger girls myself, but I don't know what a 30 year old woman would see in a 70 year old man, aside from a meal ticket.

 

 

Agreed.

 

I would say if it's more than a 12-15

year difference, a man is most likely a meal ticket...speaking in terms of a 'relationship'. Casual dates or hook-ups could be for a number of other reasons I suppose.

[adahy]

there is a girl who's 17 in the same state as I am and she likes me and I'm 10 years older than her

 

Well, I guess there is the groupie aspect as well.

[Leonhart]

there is a girl who's 17 in the same state as I am and she likes me and I'm 10 years older than her

 

Do you like her? If so, you could wait till she turns 18 then go for it. Just a thought.

[Prenkle]

Sometimes it's not about age. I'm in love with a man who's 20 years older than I am because of who he is as a person. He's not rich, and he's not an executive of any kind. Money has never entered into the equation.

 

I've never been particularly attracted to a certain age range. I think that in general people just can't help who they fall in love with.

 

Older men don't make me feel safe. The right man makes me feel safe - regardless of his age.

[adahy]

Do you like her? If so, you could wait till she turns 18 then go for it. Just a thought.

 

 

Kinda creepy though, eh...waiting on a girl to become legal??

[Leonhart]

Then, he could go for it NOW. I'm just saying the law may look down on that. Personally, I see nothing wrong with it, but I am not the law.

[musicguy]

the sad thing is..is that she dated a guy for a week who was her friends dad and he was like 35 and that was when she was 16 or so..I was like OMG!! Noooo, that's soo wrong

[Dako]

An old fossil like myself enjoys hearing what a young lady thinks, and I can talk to her without looking at her chest, ogling other women or leering at her. I can even discuss things other than pop culture or TV shows.

Some young women like that, whether it comes from a young or old guy.

[thyroxine]

I've liked older men (I'm talking men much, much older than me) in the past and the truth is, I've liked their personalities. It wasn't their age, but more of who they were. If a guy the same age or younger had that particular personality I'm attracted to, then I would go out with him. What I'm trying to get at is it's not always the age, money, power, etc., that causes women to date older guys.

 

Also, I agree with what Dako said. It's nice not having some guy stare at my chest all the time while I talk. I also love a guy who actually listens to what I say...in other words, having an actual conversation is attractive! I can't tell you how many guys I know who are the one's that talk throughout an entire "conversation" without letting me get a word in edgewise. If I finally am able to speak, they aren't listening (or even pretending to be). That's an instant turn off for me. (I'd also like to mention that a lot of these guys are those self-proclaimed "nice guys." So this is why I'm kind of negative towards any guy that calls himself that and asks why women don't date him. I know it's stereotyping, but it's a hard habit to break.)

 

Wow...went on a rant there! >_>

[Dako]

Shiva,

I'm sorry you were taken, but not every older man is a predator.

[jengh]

It's mainly about security and cash. Don't let a woman tell you otherwise!!!!!!

 

No, it's not! Talk about stereotyping. Yes, maybe for some but all? Please.

 

I've always dated older guys. I feel like they're more on my level. The older guys I've dated have been dirt poor and I loved them for THEM... not for their money or lackthereof.

I'm the type of girl who doesn't like casual dating. I like to get into a relationship and the boys my age just want to get laid. And you know, to me, I don't care if they're older or even younger. It's their personality that matters most to me. I just tend to fall for older guys because we click.

 

but saying all women who date older men are after money? *sigh*

[agent1607307371]

I like older men because they ~cough~ hold their weight differently.

(I like men a bit chunky.)

 

Anything more than 15 years would probably put them out of my interest zone though, unless they are amazingly hot.

(Ahhh, William Petersen. One day my sweet... )

 

For some reason though, I just get on very well with men who are around 10 years older than me and seem to attract them into my life in positions of lust and not. Which is odd, but if I've found someone who shares my interest, I'm not going to complain.

[Leonhart]

Ah, another reason comes to mind: Women mature a few years quicker than men, so that would play a factor. By about 3 years or so.

[Dako]

Just as an aside, I know a hot 70 year-old woman.

If I were dating her, would I be the predatory dirty old man, or after her money, or would it reverse the "rules" or what?

Enquiring minds wanna know.

[Leonhart]

I think you should do it, Dako. lol Go for it! Carpe diem! You only live once, and all that nonsense.

[shes2smart]

My last bf was 18 years older than me.

 

I'm married to a guy 11 years younger than me.

 

It was never about money (I'm quite capable of buying my own dinner, thanks) or status or security or power or "daddy issues" (whatever that's supposed to mean).

 

It was about that particular individual and how I interacted with him...no more, no less.

[Dako]

LOL!

I'm currently entranced.

 

S2S, you defy age classification.