wintersolstice Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Hey, Facebook and poking is a little five minutes ago, but I'm wondering... I like this boy in my class and we always make eye contact (he comes in late or I come in late) and we'll stand in the doorway and scan the auditorium for seats and inevitably make eye contact. Also I am a cute girl (I mention that because ugly people poking good looking people on facebook is just unrealistic and sad.) Also after class he was getting coffee and I was getting coffee and he held the door open for me and tried to initiate a conversation but I was shy and acted like I had to be somewhere. So I'm wondering if you think it would be okay to poke him on facebook and message him and ask him out? Or should I chill and see if he talks to me again??? I'm pretty damn sure if I poked him and asked him to hang out this weekend he would be into it, but maybe I should chill and see what happens (in person not on the internet.) Whats your opinion of poking on facebook in these types of situations? Link to comment
gfein347 Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Why not just ask him in person? You could always poke him on facebook, but it seems a little impersonal to me. I'm a guy, and if I were in his situation, I would appreciate it a lot more if you did this in person, rather than via the internet. Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 How come you are sure? If you're so sure, why doesn't he just ask you? I say wait unless you're willing to take the risk of being rejected. Link to comment
Meow18 Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 (I mention that because ugly people poking good looking people on facebook is just unrealistic and sad.) I'm kind of confused with this statement.. but it's not as though it has anything to do with your questions. I think if you feel like it, then go ahead and poke him and ask him out. If you like him and it seems like he likes you, then someone has to do something! Link to comment
jengh Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 lol... i totally don't get the whole poking thing on facebook, but i always crack up when someone pokes me.... Why not? It wouldn't hurt at all! I say go for it Link to comment
rocio Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 I would just add him as my friend on Facebook. A couple days later, send a short message about something funny that happened in class. If he doesn't message back, I'd let it go at that point. If he does message back, send a couple more messages and then suggest going for a coffee after class. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 He is always in the class with his friend so it's a little more intimidating that there are two of them. He tried to do something, but I was too shy and split, hee tried to talk to me, but I was like "yea I gotta get to class" (not cool lol.) I say that "im not ugly and Im sure he likes me" cause sometimes ugly people who I have never spoken to poke me on facebook and I'm just like "why..." Also I am kind of too shy to ask him out in person and I don't know if I'd be able to pull off a conversation with him in which he asked me out... (that sounds like I have a lot of social problems lol.) Even if I asked him out on facebook and he didn't reply I wouldn't be offended I'd just be like "LOL" plus it's a big lecture hall class so it's not like I would ya know be face to face with him for the rest of the semester, I could sit in the back somewhere discreet for the next couple weeks lol. I just dunno if poking him and asking him out is totally uncool, even though it gets me what I want (and prolly him what he wants) it might be better to let him ask me? Link to comment
Meow18 Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 If you wait for him to ask you, it might not happen. Who cares if it's "uncool"? Cool means different things to different people. To some people, Facebook in general is uncool. The result is more important than how it happens. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 hazey_amber, that's good advice, but I've only talked to him once (that's not really a facebook-friend. lol.) And even then he just held a door for me at a coffee shop! And said "You're welcome" Lol. Plus if I add him as a friend on facebook he might talk to me in person and if he does that during class (before we hang out) I might get shy and act like a weird-o... those sort of situations make me uncomfortable.... Ideally if I contact him on facebook I would want to hang out with him before seeing him in class (does that make sense?) Again this might sound narcassistic but I'm sure if I asked him out he would go.... My concern isn't rejection it's more doing something uncool. Lol. Fear of looking uncool is prolly why I couldn't talk to him in the first place. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 If I do poke him and he doesn't respond I'll just cut the class this week and then sit in the back next week until it blows over haha. I guess you shouldn't really meet your boyfriend by poking him on facebook (is how I feel.) That's why I think its uncool? Maybe? Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Well, if he likes you then there is not much you can do that would be overly uncool...at least I don't think either of those actions are too risky. Who cares about the means as long as you get the results? Thats the way I think. Also, don't be mean to ugly people. Link to comment
rocio Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Everyone adds everyone as their friends on facebook. I have people on there that I only met a couple times and haven't seen in years. It's very casual. What I think is uncool is your attitude about "ugly" people. It's quite sad, really. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 I knew if I said "ugly" you guys would judge me... Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 I'm not mean to ugly people, I was just trying to explain I'm not some like ugly guy trying to poke the head cheerleader or prom queen on facebook. Link to comment
Parsley Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Aw, facebook and poking are 5 minutes ago? it's only just starting to gain momentum here. Man, I am UNCOOL. I say go for it. If he doesn't poke back then he's obviously a bit rubbish. But if he's arsey enough to ignore you or make you feel embarrassed about if he doesn't, he doesn't sound like the kind of person I'd want to waste a poke on! Plenty of people have met partners in similar ways. I met my ex because of myspace (NOT a randomer I met up with...a friend of a friend I agree it does have a kind of stigma attached to it, simply because of the connection to the internet, but you know it's nothing seedy, and that's what matters. Link to comment
Caterina Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Well good...feel JUDGED. Feel the excruciating heaviness of condemnation weigh down on your shoulders! Scream in agony! bwahahahhaha haha Lol, seriously though, just be a little more sensitive. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 Nothing seedy, I like that... I think I'm going to poke him lol. I think poking him is better than adding him as a friend. I think it might take too long to message him back and forth (and the class meets again on Monday.) I don't want him to ask me out in person. I'd rather just message him to have coffee or something on facebook. Rather then message him back and forth and have to see him in class before hanging out with him. Or should I add him as a friend? Help.... Link to comment
rocio Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 I don't think it matters either way. If he likes you, you'll end up going out. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 I would be a bit weirded out if someone I didn't know poked me on facebook, regardless of attractiveness. I think a better way to go about this would be to sit next to him in class and make small talk. Then ask him out. In my opinion, in person is always better, and you can get more of a feel for whether the other person likes you. Link to comment
Daligal83 Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 Why are you so afraid of him asking you out in person? Even if he does it over facebook..you'll eventually have to hang out with him in person anyway. Link to comment
wintersolstice Posted February 8, 2007 Author Share Posted February 8, 2007 Um I guess I care too much about what other ppl think and I would feel like they were listening/judging me if I tried to flirt with him in class (a place of learning, not flirting.) lol. My big fear is what other ppl think. Not of him rejecting me. I would be scared of looking like a loser if I showed interest in someone. I would feel a lot more comfortable hanging out with him somewhere (outside of class)... noone would be there to judge me... I guess this is weird. Also like I said he always sits with his friend so that would make it more awkward for me to talk to him. I guess I could approach him after class, but I've never done that and that is so not me. At best I could do a shot before class (the class is at 5) then I'd be a lot more relaxed.. but drinking to feel comfortable enough to talk to some boy would be even more pathetic than poking him on facebook... Also I'm a coward and I'm not going poke him... I can't do it... Link to comment
sophie274 Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 I don't think other people will think you're a loser. I bet his friends would LOVE to get hit on in class anyway, and would be jealous if anything. You don't have to be really flirtatious. You could just make a little comment about the class, introduce yourself, make a bit of small talk. Then maybe you could add him as a facebook friend and ask him out, or just do it in person once you're more comfortable. You might also see him somewhere else on campus and hang out with him then. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 my only question is, How old are you? the way you are describing this is the way peoople in grade school and middle school would react. If you're going to ask him out do it!! If youre going to get rejected its either going to be in person or on the internet but at some point you have to see him. Link to comment
real2 Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 Poke him. He likes you. He will poke back. You will send a wallpost, sayin "lol, so whats up", he will say "nm, you?" you will say "nm either", then you will feel awkward for a bit, because he hasnt asked you anythin of importance yet. You will wait for another facebook wallpost from him, to which you will be delighted to see he is interested when he responds with some kind of mishmashed, "im goin somewhere for some reason, but you wanna chill after class 2morrow? lol" etc etc, you guys chill after class, something or other gets established, you determine if he is actually cool or not, then it's all freestyling from there Link to comment
DizzyDoris Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 What the heck is poking?!! Over here in the uk it means something ENTIRELY different to what i think you mean lol Link to comment
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