Broke up with boyfriend and pregnant

[MyTeddyBear]

A little of the back story

 

I decided to keep the pregnancy. He was very upset at first and we didn’t talk for two weeks.

He finally called me up and said he was sorry and he that overacted.

He said, he was just scared.

We got back together. He went to my first doctor appointment. He was seemed very interested.

I smoked and he wanted to make sure I had stopped. I did. He spoke with the Dr and asked about certain tests. He was great. Loving and very kind to me.

We talked about money and were starting to make plans. We were going to move into together and he seem overwhelmed with the enormity of the project but pretty positive. He even talked about marriage many times.

I was finally feeling a little relief and I was relaxing with the pregnancy. I was happy. I felt very loved...

Well, last Wednesday he finally told his parents. After he told them, he got very weird on me.

He called me and said, he wasn’t ready for this, it’s just not right. I can’t do this... and so on and so on.... Basically the same things he said before.

He said, I should have had an abortion. I was so pissed! Not this again!

After that phone call, I avoided him when he’d call. Then, Sunday he called and I answered.

The first freaking question out of his mouth was “is it still possible to have an abortion?”

I am 14 weeks along. I said NO it isn’t. The phone called went totally down hill.

He said, because I decided to keep this baby... then I’m on my own so to speak. He said, "why should I do something I don't want".

I told him I am done with his crap. after going back and forth for over an hour, I hung up the phone.

 

Why did he do this? Is he psychotic? I will not take him back. He had so many chances. I am so moving on....

 

Thank God I have the support of family and friends.

Thanks for listening ....

[rocio]

He was completely out of line. He was an equal participant in making the baby, so he can't claim that it's not his choice now. Try to see it from his perspective, though. As women, we have control over whether or not we keep the baby (and with good reason, of course, since it involves our bodies). Sometimes guys can feel trapped and cut out of the equation. Try to give him some time to come around. I'm not saying you should get back together (his lack of support at this important time may be unforgivable) but don't become too upset over it. He's probably a momma's boy and was easily swayed by his parents' opinions.

 

And congrats for making it through the first trimester!

[BornToResist]

I agree with Hazey completely.

 

However it is out of line for him to act that way and you do deserve total respect and support from him.

 

I think you should put some distance between you and him for a bit and concentrate on YOU. Congratulations by the way!

[Hope75]

He helped you make this baby- so whether he wants to or not he at least has a legal obligation to help support the child, and I hope that you pursue that once the baby is born.

 

As far as the rest of it... it sure sounds as though something changed when he went to tell his parents- I wonder how much influence they have on his decisions.

[itsallgrand]

I'm sorry to hear he is being such a ditz. Still your post made me smile.

Congrats, and way to go.

You clearly are excellent mommy material. You've really stepped up to the plate to do what is right for you and your child.

 

I don't know what his deal is, but, unfortunately he doesn't sound very mature. Not ready to be a daddy, maybe still a bit of a boy himself. :sad:

 

Hope's right. Whether he is ready for it or not, he is going to be a dad in some form or another.

 

I just hope he can get himself together soon and not make things too difficult for you.

 

Stay strong, you're doing great.

[Kalika]

Wow.. what a loser!! Not you, him Congrats.. I'm sorry that you're in this position, but I've heard this story so many times that I'm really starting to wonder how some people can do things like this and still be able to look at themselves in the mirror.

 

Anyways... Your best bet is to completely ignore him, his phone calls, etc. When the baby is born, FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT IMMEDIATELY. He may contest it; let him. He'll lose if he's the father. Don't let his back and forth affect you. Stress = him going back and forth, making you miserable. Stress has negative effects on the baby and your baby didn't do anything to deserve that.

[sandyv]

Hey Teddy, been there, done that, and my son is now in his teens. I think you've been mature about this.... but he hasn't....

 

If he can let other people sway him, when you and the baby should be the most important people in his life, well so be it.... you can do it if I did.......

 

And CONGRATULATIONS, you'll be a wonderful mom, I know...

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Wow he is really scared. Well, tough luck. I'm glad you're being true to yourself and standing up for what you know is right. If he wants to be a child about it, let him. Don't ever let him make you feel bad about keeping this baby. Men know the risks when they have sex, same as we know the risks. Tough.

 

You're going to be fine and you're going to do great. Avoid him if you want; you've already shown you're strong enough not to bow to pressure from someone asking you to do something that you're not ok with.

 

Congratulations!

[tweedledum121]

I'm 29 weeks and a couple of days, to be exact. And I'm battling the same thing! He has decided he's got other plans and is leaving me to figure everything out on my own. It's hard!

 

It kills me that he has been so flippant and has decided to listen to the people around him who say I am dragging him down. It took two to make my son, it wasn't just me.

 

Hang in there! I can't say that it has gotten easier overnight, this back and forth stuff. But my baby isn't here yet and I am so attached and anxious for him to get here!

 

Once you can start moving past his irresponsibility, I've really found it empowering to know that, without all the drama from him, I'm going to be able give my baby a life that is as drama free and happy as possible.

[MyTeddyBear]

This man isn't a kid, he is almost 38 years old.

I think he's afraid that this child will take away this precious freedom and lifestyle.

It's funny because for the past two years our relationship have been his focus.

He was so “in love”. Riiiiight.

Sorry, but I’m a little bitter about “love”.

 

My focus is about this baby now. I can't wait to see him or her.

 

Thanks everyone for your support

[Dilly]

Hang in there girl! This baby might bring things into better focus for your ex. He's bucking because that's what alot of guys do when they feel trapped. Hang on tight! You will be fine!!!

[scarew]

I can't believe that jerk!

 

I could feel my baby moving at 14 weeks. There would be NO WAY I would get an abortion. But thats just me. And I know you want this baby, I am happy you decided to keep it.

 

Let us know how this progresses. But be straightforward with him. Tell him you are having this baby, how he chooses to let this turn out is up to him. He can be a dead beat dad with a few visits a year and pay child support his whole life, and stay angry and grumpy. OR he can realize that he has been a jerk, take responsibility, and enjoy this together with you!

 

Its not like its uncommon for the mans parents to put a bunch of ideas in their sons head. But why do they do these things. It sounds like they probably were shocked and told him that he should get out. He shouldn't be such a tool.

 

Teddybear, we are all here for you. Focus on the ppl in your life who support you and forget about the ones that are missing out on this wonderful thing!

[urbanfairysmiles]

This is happening to me too. My boyfriend is 34 and is pressurising me to have an abortion and has told me he will leave me if I don't. He says it is my fault we are pregnant as I didn't like using condoms so we went on the pill instead. But my pill made me hemorrage.... so I got pregnant...

[rocio]

This is happening to me too. My boyfriend is 34 and is pressurising me to have an abortion and has told me he will leave me if I don't. He says it is my fault we are pregnant as I didn't like using condoms so we went on the pill instead. But my pill made me hemorrage.... so I got pregnant...

 

Okay, what if you did have the abortion? On what planet would you stay with a guy like this anyway? Either way, he's out of the picture (unless he decides to grow a brain and step up to his responsibilities). It's up to you to decide what is best for yourself and the child.

 

What do you think you'll do?

[Scout]

As women, we have control over whether or not we keep the baby (and with good reason, of course, since it involves our bodies). Sometimes guys can feel trapped and cut out of the equation.

 

Bottom line, they are cut out of the equation on this decision, because it is ultimately in our control whether we can have the child or not.

 

However, it is entirely within their control to impregnate someone or not.