A guy tells you about his dating conquests??

[ItsYourChoice]

Ok there is a guy who I met on link removed probably 3 months ago. We went on 3 casual dates (i was casually seeing a few guys, no expectations..jsut dating) and then communication broke off as my interest skyrocketed for another man I was seeing.

During the 1.5 month hiatus, he called me several times, we talked twice...he commented my myspace page..you get the idea. So about a week ago I called him to catch up. We had a nice conversation, at the end of which he asked me out for a drink.

So last night we went out, he treated..we had a nice time. I asked how he'd been since we'd last gotten together and he told me things were good. He then proceeded to tell me about his "options" so to speak. Apparently he's been casually dating a girl for about 3-4 weeks and is going to see her this weekend or next. Also hes being set up by a coworker with another girl. I played it well and referred to the girls and myself as contestants

 

He told me then not to worry, I has seniority and then started saying why they wouldnt work. Also he mentioned how he loves being single (hint??)

 

I like being single too, im not in a hurry to find the wrong guy..but honestly im getting tired of the game...I feel like I have the same couple of dates with different men over and over!

 

SO anybody with some decoding skills on his behavior? INterested? No? Hes funny, we have a good time, i could def see him as a friend is dating isnt in the cards.

[Iceman26]

Hahaha....it sounds like he is trying to make you jealous to see if you have any interest in him like he has for you.

 

Other than brash arrogance, I don't see any other reason he would brag about all these dates he was having.

[Batya33]

Typically that means he is not interested in dating you with any serious intentions. I had a date with a guy who bragged like that - even telling me he dated three women who lived in the same building near me - and he asked me out again, more than once. Maybe it was just his style. I found it tacky.

[Iceman26]

He told me then not to worry, I has seniority and then started saying why they wouldnt work. Also he mentioned how he loves being single (hint??)

 

In rereading this I think he is playing games. Like he wants you to know he is interested in you without directly telling you he is interested in you. Kind of like baiting you to get talking about your feelings for him without him revealing anything concrete about his feelings. It is so hard to put into words what I think he is doing but I have had friends that act this way.....

[cantexplain]

I agree with the idea that he is trying to tell you: "don't string me along".

 

Its a bit tactless, 'though. He could be bigger and more straightforward. I can do tactless things in romance -- and especially when I am losing faith. Unrequitted romantic feelings can definitely bring about insecurity and some substandard behavior, I've found.

 

Also, to speak of other dating possibilities - trying to evoke jealousy to control your emotions and insecurities - if that is what he is doing - that would be a bad sign.

 

Trust your gut, I say.

 

Either way he is a moving target!

 

In balance he is showing some commitment at this stage to his pursuit of you. You could pursue him in turn (reciprocate) and see if he relaxes on this substandard message. If he does, and after some time, you are still liking him - ask him about this message and tell him it made you uncomfortable and see what he does. See if he is sincere in his response to your feelings. Do this in person, not over the phone, I say.

[Saturn2006]

Just out of interest what is the situation now with the guy you really liked, are you still interested in him?

 

I don't think this guy from link removed sounds like dating material, sounds like he is bragging about his dating conquests. If he loves being single that much, why all these dates? Sound a bit strange to me.

[ItsYourChoice]

Thank you all for your responses so far.

 

On every date ( 4 at this points) we've had a great time laughing and joking around. So he is definitely fun to hang around with if nothing else.

 

Im not sure what signs hes sending if any? After the date he commented my myspace again. When we parted he said "I know youre really busy so i wont try to set anything up, hopefully youll call me."

 

I countered by telling him he was the dating guru..the busy one..all in fun though.

 

Saturn..the guy I liked..personal issues..and then the other one has to prioritize his son right now and im understanding of that.

[cantexplain]

yes from what I am reading he is not ready to be open and straightforward and fair on your feelings

 

i only talk about my dates with women I don't want to date.

[Day_Walker]

He is being honest with you. He told you that he likes being single. Why would you do anything else but take him at his word. I cannot say that he does not have an interest in you but his intentions may not be to have a relationship. It is your call on this one.

[cantexplain]

He is being honest with you. He told you that he likes being single. Why would you do anything else but take him at his word. I cannot say that he does not have an interest in you but his intentions may not be to have a relationship. It is your call on this one.

 

still I think it is tactless to speak too much detail of others other than that you are indeed dating around.

 

yeah, probe to discover his relationship style.

 

I keep telling myself to do this, but often wait too long - after I've made myself too emotionally vulnerable.

 

[EvaGina]

to me it sounds like he was trying to tell you how attractive he is and how you should be interested.. not in a malicious way tho.

 

the "i enjoy being single" thing is probably a ruse. I do it all the time, regretably. IMO, he wants to settle down but doesnt want to scare you off, nor let you know what he wants in case it makes him vunerable

 

he probably feels like a tool, btw, for telling you that

[Batya33]

In my opinion that is bad advice. In almost all cases a stable mature person will tell you the truth and I have found with men there is no way - if they want to date you seriously - that they would say anything except that or risk you getting the impression they don't. If he is too scared to tell you how he feels and instead of being quiet on the topic chooses this silly bragging approach I don't think you need that in your life. Be ready to hear more about his "conquests" after you are intimate - how will that feel?

[cantexplain]

so he is either telling you the truth or he is not a stable mature person.

 

I do not tell prospective partners about any of my previous or current situations. If I do, then they are entering into my friendzone.

 

This does not come naturally. In came through hard knocks and reflection and practice.

 

But before I learned to do this, I know if I was interested in one person as a one and one only, insecurity drove me to use past relationships or current dating prospects to illustrate how great a guy I was.

 

And I always felt like a tool.

 

And dang ya'll - if we don't enjoy being single we better stop telling people that!

 

Let me tell you how confusing things can get:

 

I had a two year good friendship which escalated into a sexual attraction (at least on my part and I did sense this was the case for her, too). So I escalated my language from you are my friend to I want to date you. She came back with "I don't do romance for lack of a better word perhaps if we become better friends I can tell you what this means and by all means lets continue to go out - I will go with you to this show" (the show my overture of asking her out in a dating sense).

 

Instead of saying, "well you know I am interested in you intimately so it is not a good idea for me to hang out as just friends until I can get a better grasp of what you mean by romance" - I respected her (more than I respected myself) and went through with the 3 dates accross one month we already had on our calendars. The very next day after the third date her old boyfriend started staying nights at her house. I was completely shocked and confused. I know this because I can see her house from mine. Plus we have friends in common. During this time she invited me to dinner and wine while reminding me "no romance now". I did not reply. She also told me she and he were going to New York from Christmas until after New Years. On December 28 she e-mailed me "back home lets go out". So I said sure. She invited me to her house for dinner. I was still in this "no romance and not knowing what this means zone" so I did nothing. The next day she went quiet - no contact.

 

Was she using him to say something to me?

 

Between the old boyfriend showing up and the no contact thing after dinner at her house I got irritated. What kind of friend would leave me in this lurch of "no romance for lack of a better word perhaps if we become better friends I can tell you what this means"? After confronting her in this way she told me then that "no romance" means "no relationships".

 

So I accept that about her and did not pursue her anymore. That kind of stuff is just not in me.

 

I have stopped contacting her and she me.

 

Now Eva you say you tell people that you want to be single and you do not.

 

So should I think that when she says "I don't do relationships" that she really might want one?

 

If a woman EVER tells me that she enjoys being single (which is understandable I do, too) -- after what I recently experienced I will drop pursuit entirely and move on.

[cantexplain]

by the way ... interesting note to above experience: while dining at her house I had planned to talk about this no romance thing - like does that mean no kissing and cuddling, or does that mean no flowers and starry eyed boys, or does that mean if she feels loved she will turn into a pit-viper black widow monster? But before I could have this discussion she brought up her blow-up on her trip and even questioned whether she had misbehaved - wanted my take. I tried to change the subject from this guy. As I did she went quiet, my talk filled the evening, there was no way I wanted to get intimate in this situation.

 

So she talked of her ex. It turned me off.

[annie24]

He is being honest with you. He told you that he likes being single. Why would you do anything else but take him at his word. I cannot say that he does not have an interest in you but his intentions may not be to have a relationship. It is your call on this one.

 

I agree. I have been in that situation, being on a date and having the guy tell me about the 4 other women he is dating. Not really a turn on for me. I am not the jealous/posessive type. I am the type that gets bored and annoyed by those games. I don't want to join a man's harem.

 

I don't know, he doesn't sounds all that interested in you. I would walk. Unless you really really don't want a relationship, you just want to mess around. then call him if you feel like. But if you are looking for a relationship, I wouldn't look for it with this man. he sounds too flakey. plus not asking you out for 6 weeks is pretty much a sign he is not so interested.