locolady Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 This came up the other day when chatting with some girls (i blame the wine!) and i thought i'd get some more opinions on it....' Does anyone actually use condoms when giving blow jobs? i guess you really should to protect yourself against stds but surely it would hardly be worth the bother to do it if you use a condom? Most of my friends and i have had the luxury of long term relationships in which we felt safe and we happy to only use the pill as contraception. However, since i was cheated on last year, and i'm finally getting myself back in the dating game, i've been thinking a lot more about this. I'm kinda a bit paranoid about stds now, just wondered whats the deal with this....i know as women we're at more risk, so is a condom the only way to be safe? It seems like it would take ALL the fun out of it for both parties? Thanks Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Unless you both carry with you a recent test that says you're clean, yeah, condoms are the only shield. What really takes all the fun out is to catch something from someone you don't even know that well. Link to comment
katie831 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 to be honest i have never used a condom when giving someone a blowjob, mind you i have never made a habit of doing sexual acts on people i do not act or trust. Until you know someone well and are in a trusting relationship i would use a condom. Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 The real question about any sexual act involving direct contact is not "is it a risk" because it is a risk. The real question ought to be "is it a risk I am prepared to take". I think you will find most people are prepared to take the risk of not using a condom for oral sex. For some STI's there is similar risk between oral and intercourse, such as syphillis. A healthy sex life, in my opinion, is about knowing the risks and making the decision to mitigate them appropriately according to the level of risk you are prepared to take. Link to comment
Luck of the Irish Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 If you give blowjobs to random people, then it's a good idea. If you are monogamous, then I don't see the point in it. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 You can pretty much get any STI from oral sex that you can from regular sex. If you use a condom for regular sex, use one for oral. Its your body and you have the right to protect yourself. If a guy won't wear a condom then he doesn't respect you. Link to comment
chai714 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I've heard of this but never have had anyone I know tell me they actually used a condom during oral. I don't fully understand the concept of using one for oral except for the disease factor. BUT, if you know your partner well enough and don't go blowing guys left and right, then you won't have to worry about this. I understand people lie but that's part of the risk of any and all relationships that involve sex. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I have never engaged in that behavior outside of a committed relationship so I never felt the need to use them. Some of my single friends who have more "casual" sexual encounters/one night stands use oral sex condoms and dental dams. BellaDonna Link to comment
DizzyDoris Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Sorry for butting in but whats a dental dam!?!! Link to comment
deleted_x Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 You can pretty much get any STI from oral sex that you can from regular sex. If you use a condom for regular sex, use one for oral. Its your body and you have the right to protect yourself. If a guy won't wear a condom then he doesn't respect you. You can get STIs from giving/getting a blowjob, however, there is something that you said thats wrong... There are a Very few amount of STIs you can get or give from giving a blowjob. That being said, there still are some, and I've no clue about anyone else but outside of a committed relationship - I doubt Anybody would want to have that risk even if there was only One STI you could get from giving a blowjob. One STI is really all it takes to make life a living hell. Edit Dental dams are small, thin, square pieces of latex that are used for oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. They get their name from their use in dental procedures. Dental dams help to reduce the transmission of STIs during oral sex by acting as a barrier to vaginal and anal secretions that contain bacteria and viruses. They come in a variety of sizes and flavors - so you can find a dam that satisfies your tastes. ^-- Thank you google ^_^ lol. Link to comment
locolady Posted January 10, 2007 Author Share Posted January 10, 2007 i've never heard of dental dams before, i'll do a bit of research, thanks! I have only been with 2 guys both long term relationships and am certainly not in the habit of doing anything sexual casually (no intention of starting either!) Its just that ive been seeing someone for about 5 months (casually as we live 2 hours apart but im soon moving to the same city) Neither of us has been with anyone else in that time (not even kissing) well at least so he says (i was cheated on in the past so have a hard time trusting - that said he has given me every reason to believe he tells the truth) I'm pretty sure we're going to make more of a committment to each other now and as such i'd be happy for a sexual relationship to begin. I just cant stop thinking about how devastating it would be to get an std....i love giving oral though and it seems like it just wouldnt be the same with a condom. I'm frustrated because i never wanted to be in this position....i fell in love at 17 and wanted to be with that guy for the rest of my life, i felt so secure and safe to explore all things sexual with him. Then he cheated after 4 years and we split up. That was a year ago and this new guy is the first that i've been interested in since. I just feel so paranoid now because i trusted my body with someone once and got betrayed. I guess maybe i should ask the new guy to get tested first and then take it from there? (i've been tested and not been with anyone since) maybe this is the only way to eleviate my worries? but even then, he could still lie to me? Grrrrrr, are there any honest men out there?! Link to comment
Mark1016 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I've heard of this but never have had anyone I know tell me they actually used a condom during oral. I don't fully understand the concept of using one for oral except for the disease factor. BUT, if you know your partner well enough and don't go blowing guys left and right, then you won't have to worry about this. I understand people lie but that's part of the risk of any and all relationships that involve sex. I think you hit the nail on the head. Don't go around blowing anything that walks. I have 2 teenagers and I have learned that girls nowdays give blowjobs like its no big deal. When I was in high school, if you got some "stinky on the pinky" you had scored big time. Now it seems everything starts with a BJ as part of the "friends with benefits" thing. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I have heard of this but it sounds uncomfortable. What does getting back in the dating game have to do with having sex? I have dated over a hundred men but only been sexual with the few I had a serious relationship with (and after being tested, waiting, etc). Obviously there are men who expect sex early on but you can date to your heart's content without being sexual. As long as he has been with no one for at least 6 months and gets tested, you are probably ok without a condom - but I would wait for a serious committed relationship so that you have that added level of trust about his sexual history, the testing, etc. Link to comment
Deviant_Kate Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I'm pretty sure we're going to make more of a committment to each other now and as such i'd be happy for a sexual relationship to begin. I just cant stop thinking about how devastating it would be to get an std....i love giving oral though and it seems like it just wouldnt be the same with a condom. I guess maybe i should ask the new guy to get tested first and then take it from there? (i've been tested and not been with anyone since) maybe this is the only way to eleviate my worries? but even then, he could still lie to me? Grrrrrr, are there any honest men out there?! If you've been dating for 5 months, it shouldn't be any problem to ask him if he's been tested or to ask him to get tested. Just tell him you wouldn't be comfortable becoming sexual with him otherwise. You could even toss in that whole "I love oral" part when you ask him to get tested- that should be incentive enough to get him to a clinic. Link to comment
applepie Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I've heard of this but never have had anyone I know tell me they actually used a condom during oral. I don't fully understand the concept of using one for oral except for the disease factor. BUT, if you know your partner well enough and don't go blowing guys left and right, then you won't have to worry about this. I understand people lie but that's part of the risk of any and all relationships that involve sex. Does it really make a difference if you don't go blowing guys left and right? It takes 1 person who has an STD to pass it on. You can get an STD the first time you have sex/oral sex. If there is one dishonest person in a chain of millions, people can get sick. It always frustrates me that people think it's ok, just because you are in a relationship. The only way to know is for both people to get tested. On another note, if I had to wear a condom during oral sex, I just wouldn't have it. Latex tastes disgusting and flavoured condoms are even worse. I just tend to abstain from oral sex all together. It's more risky and less enjoyable (for me) than regular sex. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 There is nothing wrong with asking for a copy of his test results. As far as trusting that he has not been with anyone for 6 months, I would question though why you are willing to be that intimate with someone you don't trust. Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Does it really make a difference if you don't go blowing guys left and right? It takes 1 person who has an STD to pass it on. You can get an STD the first time you have sex/oral sex. If there is one dishonest person in a chain of millions, people can get sick. It always frustrates me that people think it's ok, just because you are in a relationship. The only way to know is for both people to get tested. On another note, if I had to wear a condom during oral sex, I just wouldn't have it. Latex tastes disgusting and flavoured condoms are even worse. I just tend to abstain from oral sex all together. It's more risky and less enjoyable (for me) than regular sex. Well, yes and no. STI's are really a numbers game. Its statistics. If you're having any sex at all you are exposing yourself to risk. The risk increases depending on how many encounters you have, and decreases where the other person has exposed themselves to less risk also. There is no evidence that oral sex can pass on HIV, despite quite extensive research. Should you have any open wounds or sores (such as untreated herpes or syphilis sores in your throat and on your partners "member" then HIV transmission is possible, and other STI transmission is likely. Testing is NOT a "be all and end all" solution. There are many strains and STI's that are not able to be tested for. A good example is HPV. And while an HPV vaccine has been developed, it is worse than useless for people exposed to any sexual activity at all. HPV effects a massive portion of the population, causing genital warts on only some of those affected. If you have sex with 10 different people, its like you have been exposed to the virus. The virus is transmitted by skin contact, and can be transferred without warts being present. I think the key is remembering that sex is a risky business, but you just need to get yourself comfortable with the risks. Link to comment
forza2 Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 My first BJ was w/a condom. It was this girl in the party I didn't know her so I wasn't prepared to take any risk, but wanted that BJ so the condom was used, but the only way she was ok w/the condom was cause it didn't have spermicides, and she wasn't that good either (found out after receiving other BJs) Link to comment
applepie Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 There is nothing wrong with asking for a copy of his test results. As far as trusting that he has not been with anyone for 6 months, I would question though why you are willing to be that intimate with someone you don't trust. You can trust someone all you want, but some people don't get tested regularly and don't know they have anything. People get deceived all the time by people they trust. I'd rather use the defensive tactic. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Typically the kind of infections you get from oral sex are bacterial and in those instances a condom is going to help but as far as hpv and herpes, a condom is not going to provide much protection. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now