THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[Steve 7745]

Day 5.

 

I feel like crap. The ex emailed me yesterday with a whimsical little message. I know from the timing that she's only emailing me because she noticed I removed her as a friend on Facebook, although she "claims" it was to check whatever it was I called her about before I took this NC challenge. She's just trying to get a response or a rise out of me.

 

I am considering responded, but I haven't yet nor will I rush into it without a lot of forethought. I probably won't. I shouldn't.

 

Today, it's more exercise and work. Got up early to do the dishes and take out the trash. Never enough time in the day.

[The Mad Pagan]

I never thought I'd make it to 15 days, but here I am. Half the challenge is done, and I'm getting stronger by the day.

 

I admit to a bit of a relapse of anger and regret, though. I can't help but think of what could have been, over and over again. It pisses me off to no end that things had to end the way they did. I wonder if I'm missed, or if the face that I'm really sticking to my guns this time has started to freak him out.

 

Oh well, there's no use in speculating. It is what it is.

[ghostgirl116]

you just sound like a lovely woman. mark is missing out. i think what makes things so hard is that we have this need for control. it feels good when you realize you just have to give it up and hand it over. i'm struggling with that, too.

 

i'm at this point today where i feel a little afraid that i won't ever see him again. i know some people will scoff at something like that, as we weren't together very long at all. but i haven't had a bf that i enjoyed and felt so comfortable with since i was very young, and its so hard to know that i have to let that go. i try and comfort myself knowing that whats meant to be will be.

 

xoxo gg

[ghostgirl116]

24 hours down.

and guess what?

best 24 hours in the past month.

im not saying i wont have a bad day soon.

but its no longer about him missing me.

or him talking to me.

 

its about me.

 

keep it up, mattysfun!

 

xo gg

[ghostgirl116]

I never thought I'd make it to 15 days, but here I am. Half the challenge is done, and I'm getting stronger by the day.

 

I admit to a bit of a relapse of anger and regret, though. I can't help but think of what could have been, over and over again. It pisses me off to no end that things had to end the way they did. I wonder if I'm missed, or if the face that I'm really sticking to my guns this time has started to freak him out.

 

Oh well, there's no use in speculating. It is what it is.

 

o my gosh,,, i feel the exact same way today!!! well, i don't feel the anger, but some regret. ok, lotsa regret today. and wonder if i'm missed.

sending good thought your way...

 

 

xo gg

[suzie q]

ah! back to day 2.

 

a little advice: do NOT watch the notebook! haha. that totally did me in last night. it's one of my favorite movies, but it reminds me of him so much. not so much the story line, just that his sister and i made him and her husband watch it with us one time.

 

i really missed him a lot last night. maybe it was just the lonely feeling.

 

yesterday was just one of those days that i was like, "whoa, did we really break up?"

 

my whole life is different now and i'm starting to really miss the one i had with him. i know it'll pass and this is just one of those days.

 

"those days" seem to be the longest ones.:sad:

[surfjon]

Hey guys.......

 

Just wanted to post to support you all.

 

What you are doing is so hard, was one of the hardest things I did too.

The days add up so slowly, those first days were then a week.

 

The week then became 2 weeks and then finally a month had gone by.

I used to want to text or call her so bad that I'd dig my nails into my palms until they bled.

 

I'd leave my phone at home, sit on my hands....whatever.

 

Keep it up, it's going to keep you sane. You won't get the answers you don't want to hear. You won't simply be ignored or worse......if there is no contact, you can't be hurt further by them and their words.

 

I'm over a year out of being left.

I was married 20 years and now divorced.

I was unable to go full N/C full-time due to our kids,there were very long runs (2 months) where N/C did occur. We only spoke of our kids matters, and often via email.

 

N/C is very hard, especially in the beginning when we are reeling from the injury and I commend you all for the hard work, and it will help you.

Keep counting those days., they go slow but at least they do go by.....

[StillSmiling]

Day 15

 

Thanks SurfJon! Appreciate the support from someone who has been through this. *sigh*

 

Having a tough morning. Drank too much wine last night and spent it in tears with a friend. Always makes me feel crappier the next day ...

 

I think yesterday was the first day that I really thought about "forever". That's hard stuff. I too worry about ever feeling such happiness again as I felt with him, right to the end when he shocked me.

 

Have to focus on myself and my business now. Awful that I watch him on the dating sites and see how active he is. So it was not for "another", it just was right with me. My list posted above my desk keeps getting longer of all of the reasons why I would not have been right as a life partner. It's so clear to see ... yet I still hurt so badly.

 

Hang in there all. There will be light again.

[brizzle]

Im on my way to work right now so I can't write about how I'm feeling (hard to sum it up in one sentence), but I CAN say that any of you who are feeling like crap/thinking about your ex foremost should NOT be taking up the drink! It's a depressant...so of course its going to make you feel crappier if you start out feeling even a bit crappy. And take it from me, having embarrassed myself thoroughly by doing this, it's not worth the try to "forget your pain" or "drown your sorrows". No matter how much you try to drown it, pain can swim and float like a mothertrucker.

[GoldenHillGuy]

DAY 5

 

Feeling better. The thought of forever isn't as haunting as it was a few days ago. Heck, my first ex from 11 years ago just added me on facebook. First time I've talked to her since our messy breakup. I didn't miss her one bit after about 6 months after it. So, its getting better. Hang in there people.

[xxmacbethxx]

day 3,

 

tomorrow morning im going over there, well planing on it now we did text i told her what i thought and she agreed that it might help with everything,if we did no contact she even sayed she would stop texting me and calling, i told her that i was only going to come over tomorrow if i thought i could handle it, right now im not to sure.

 

i dont have anything planned today i guess i do have to go work my dead end job, which only depresses me more,

 

i dont know

i am just confused

all i am 100% sure on right now is i love her

=(

sad panda

[vimora]

ages since my last entry...

 

Been with a new guy for more than a year now and things are sooo great!

 

It took me some time but now I can only think back on my ex with fondness and not hurt, I can speak to him without wondering why or how or wanting him back.

 

Sure, I went on this site to maintain hope of getting back together with my ex, but moreso, you guys (and SUPERDAVE) just helped me get over the worst so I could move on.

 

Thanks!

[xxmacbethxx]

any one got any tips, EVERYTHING in my room reminds me of her,

 

my ps3 she bought

her fish tank im caring for tell she moves

the sheets she picked out

my computer with over 147784238915781587 pics of her

my cell phone she loaned me money for my tv she split price on

my dvr filled with her fav shows

all my close she helped pick out

my guitar i use to sing her to sleep with

 

thats basically everything i have =(

[StillSmiling]

ages since my last entry...

 

Been with a new guy for more than a year now and things are sooo great!

 

It took me some time but now I can only think back on my ex with fondness and not hurt, I can speak to him without wondering why or how or wanting him back.

 

Sure, I went on this site to maintain hope of getting back together with my ex, but moreso, you guys (and SUPERDAVE) just helped me get over the worst so I could move on.

 

Thanks!

 

Thank you for coming back with such words of hope for the future.

 

I think we all know there is life after "him/her" ... but it is painfully hard to see it right now. Thanks for the inspiration.

[mattysfun]

days one went great.

DAY TWO IS KILLING ME.

been awake for a half hour.

and ALL i want to do is text him.

and i have nothing to say.

 

must avoid.

 

must be strong.

 

if i can do this you can do this.

[mattysfun]

on that note. someone come take my god damn phone away.

[StillSmiling]

any one got any tips, EVERYTHING in my room reminds me of her,

 

my ps3 she bought

her fish tank im caring for tell she moves

the sheets she picked out

my computer with over 147784238915781587 pics of her

my cell phone she loaned me money for my tv she split price on

my dvr filled with her fav shows

all my close she helped pick out

my guitar i use to sing her to sleep with

 

thats basically everything i have =(

 

 

Pack away anything you can do without.

Save all the photos and songs to disks and addthem to the "Memory Box".

Erase the DVR

Go shopping for some new clothes

 

Trust me .. you NEED TO CLEAN YOUR SPACE to get through this. This I have learned.

 

Hang in there. My breaking heart is right there too but we will make it ...

 

Hugs

[DavidWRosario]

Day 11 - I am in hell. I wont call her or contact her there is no use. That would make this all worse. 2008 will forever be my worse year ever. I lost my wife of 20 years in May, and today I heard two songs that started the day of totally wrong.

 

She never cried in front of me by Toby Keith and

 

Better as a Memory than as your man by K Chesney.

 

to make matters worse, Had a huge fight with my roommate who is the Godfather of my Kids, and my Best friend.

 

They say bad things happen in threes, what's left to lose. My son, My Parents or My life. Getting to close to the bottom of the barrell. Dont know how much more I can take.

[StillSmiling]

Day 11 - I am in hell. I wont call her or contact her there is no use. That would make this all worse. 2008 will forever be my worse year ever. I lost my wife of 20 years in May, and today I heard two songs that started the day of totally wrong.

 

She never cried in front of me by Toby Keith and

 

Better as a Memory than as your man by K Chesney.

 

to make matters worse, Had a huge fight with my roommate who is the Godfather of my Kids, and my Best friend.

 

They say bad things happen in threes, what's left to lose. My son, My Parents or My life. Getting to close to the bottom of the barrell. Dont know how much more I can take.

 

David, you have to hang with us. We are all going to have days that fall wrong, start wrong,times and songs that hit a hard spot ... trust me .. mine was a professional musician who sang to me the perfect song in front of thousands. Turn off the radio for now.

 

It's a bad day David. Nothing more than that. A step backwards, which we are allowed. It's like a lightening bolt coming off of the ground. Not a straight line up, but jig-jag with the ups and downs .. but still heading up.

 

If you care to talk, write here and we can email to an open phone. I have found such inspiration in you at times I thought I would not make it .. if you care for an ear .. we are here, and I can be too.

 

Hang tight guy. And turn off the radio.

[xxmacbethxx]

I got a letter from her in the mail today, it said everything i wanted to hear from her, i think that i still have a chance with her i do just need to give her room i txted her today saying that i dont want to come over tomorrow morning , but maybe later this week we can get something to eat, so im stay on this a bit longer the letter made this best day i have had in a long time, even work didn't suck to much. i hope tomorrow is a better day, im not sure it can be since i don't work and that is all that i have lately to keep me busy and not thinking of her

i reactivated My world of warcraft account that should keep me busy if it can keep my attention again, i lost 10 pounds in 14 days its been 2 weeks since we broke up, my emotions are unpredictable sometimes im so angry and sometimes im so sad. but i still think she is as near perfect for me as any one could be for each other.

 

teh reason she wrote me is because a few days before i started this challenge i wrote to her "100 reasons i love her" im not going to write back.

 

i know we have had minimal contact but its all just so we can have no contact at all.

yesterday to tell her to not try contact me and today to let her know that im not coming tomorrow.

 

i think im going to get back in to my music a lot more college kinda pulled me away from it me and a friend that moved to Florida use to have a joke band, making random music i think we are gonna start it back up and im take it more serous just to keep me busy.

 

stay strong every one

 

we can do this and find out what we really want and need

[KaylaJoy]

you just sound like a lovely woman. mark is missing out. i think what makes things so hard is that we have this need for control. it feels good when you realize you just have to give it up and hand it over. i'm struggling with that, too.

 

i'm at this point today where i feel a little afraid that i won't ever see him again. i know some people will scoff at something like that, as we weren't together very long at all. but i haven't had a bf that i enjoyed and felt so comfortable with since i was very young, and its so hard to know that i have to let that go. i try and comfort myself knowing that whats meant to be will be.

 

xoxo gg

 

thank you gg...

 

I understand your sentiment about being afraid you'll never see him again...I have had that fear in the past, not really so much now, but right after our breakup I almost had a panic attack over being afraid I'd never see him again, which is ridiculous really because his family and I are so close and we hang out all the time, so chances are sooner or later I would run into him.

Isn't your breakup relatively recent though? It makes even more sense when you have that fear especially when it's a recent loss - it's still very new, and you sit around wondering what you're going to do now that he's not there. I used to sit around and try to remember what I did before Mark and I became Mark and I, and I couldn't even think about it. We had been in our comfort zone for so long, and that merged into a relationship, and then back out just 4 months later. Now, two years later, and another whole relationship later, I'm still healing. And grieving at times.

[KaylaJoy]

Day 11 - I am in hell. I wont call her or contact her there is no use. That would make this all worse. 2008 will forever be my worse year ever. I lost my wife of 20 years in May, and today I heard two songs that started the day of totally wrong.

 

She never cried in front of me by Toby Keith and

 

Better as a Memory than as your man by K Chesney.

 

to make matters worse, Had a huge fight with my roommate who is the Godfather of my Kids, and my Best friend.

 

They say bad things happen in threes, what's left to lose. My son, My Parents or My life. Getting to close to the bottom of the barrell. Dont know how much more I can take.

 

Dave - remember what I told you....PRAY! He'll listen, I promise.

 

Haven't heard the TobyK. song, but don't you remember Mark just called me two weeks ago and said when he heard Better as a Memory that he thought of us? Tore me apart too! BOOOOO KENNY, for putting that dreadful evil song out there!!! BOOOO, I say!!!!

 

Do you not have custody of your daughter? You mentioned losing your son, but not your daughter?

 

Hang in there, and post on ENA 30 times a day if you need to, someone will listen and respond, and like still smiling said....this is just a bad day, that's all...there's a good one coming around the corner up ahead, like your weekends with your buddy or your son that you've been having.

This too shall pass! Eventually!!

[ghostgirl116]

Day 11 - I am in hell. I wont call her or contact her there is no use. That would make this all worse. 2008 will forever be my worse year ever. I lost my wife of 20 years in May, and today I heard two songs that started the day of totally wrong.

 

She never cried in front of me by Toby Keith and

 

Better as a Memory than as your man by K Chesney.

 

to make matters worse, Had a huge fight with my roommate who is the Godfather of my Kids, and my Best friend.

 

They say bad things happen in threes, what's left to lose. My son, My Parents or My life. Getting to close to the bottom of the barrell. Dont know how much more I can take.

 

i'm sorry its such a tough day for you. its like that... good days/rotten days, days that start good and end rotten, or the other way around. you have so much on your plate... go easy on yourself. "this too shall pass"

 

(((()))) gg

[mattysfun]

today seemed like everyone brought him up.

typing this made me feel better.

[mikeca]

Havent been on this website in awhile...Ex was out this weekend at the clubs. Doesnt sound quite odd? Well lets just say I thought she was still 2000+ kms away. Living her life in another city. I stayed away, and continued on, havent talked to her since giving the All or Nothing speech one year ago. Keep up NC people.