UnderBear Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Day 9 I dont feel anything, just watched Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind ... uhm..nice film I've decided to move on and leave these memories in some drawer of my brain, someday maybe few years later, Ill look at them again.. They got any of those drawers on eBay? I want one! Now! Link to comment
Pending Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Day 3 Well away from home finally for a few days, and I gotta say i've just been far too busy to think about her(lucky me). With still no attempts at contact from her(going onto 4 weeks), I think i'm finally starting to just not wait on her anmore. Link to comment
Karhu Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Day 16. First contact. She knows my routine too well! She just happened to turn up at the salsa club that she knows I always go to every single Monday night, and then said “oh, what a pleasant surprise to bump into you” Actually I knew she was there when I walked into the place and ran into her brother in the rest room. I saw considering slipping out the back without meting her, but then knew that her brother would tell her that I was there, and it’d be strange if i vanished. So I was civilized and made an appearance. She nodded when I came in, but was in the middle of a dance with a guy, so I waited for them to finish their dance to greet properly, but she just went on to chat up the guy for an hour or so. It was a bit strange, but didn’t really bother me as I went on to do my usual dancing as if she wasn’t there. Later we got to dancing together, there was the usual chemistry when we danced, we always get wild together, and do a lot of crazy dance movies. Then the guy from before interrupted (don’t you know it’s polite to wait for people to finish the song) as he was leaving and wanted to give her his phone number. I could see the intentions, with clear body language, flirtatious looks and smiles from both sides. Then she came back, and said that she wanted to learn Spanish, and he was willing to teach her. Sure, I believe your motives… NOT! Well that doesn’t matter if she does it in front of me, as she’s my ex. Although she is a very flirtatious person, which bothered me a bit before, and if she wasn’t interested in me then why was she still flirting with me last night? Anyway, she gave me a lift home (in the spirit of NC I probably should have refused her offer and taken the bus). When we got to my street, we ended out sitting in the cat chatting for an hour, not talking about relationships, or any of the issues, just light hearted joking etc. I know in an unrelated conversation (can’t remember exactly what it was about, but a different context) she said “I couldn’t hurt anyone”, which I replied “at least not intentionally”. I didn’t elaborate on it, but could see in her eyes that she was affected, maybe she’ll go home and have a think about what she’s been doing. Anyway, we mainly had light hearted fun conversation, it was a lot of fun! But that doesn’t change things, if she’s going to not respect me and my beliefs, and also be flirtations with everyone then I don’t want to get involved and would prefer to move on with my life. I only want something that is real and serious. So I’ll be friendly, but I guess I should still be moving on. I am wondering about all this no contact stuff that is so popular in the forums. I think that a lot of our problems came from misunderstandings, so communication through friendship could be beneficial. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Day 1..again! LOL I will actually reach 30 days and beyond one day! Well got no further reason for contact as phone sorted for time being. She has a new guy so no reason to contact to think she will come back anymore and got past that stage some time back.. No reason to contact her on her birthday end of the month as was considering it but now she has the new guy dont feel it is a good idea anymore not even just a simple text. So NC it is.. Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 15, 2007 Share Posted May 15, 2007 Day 14 Been on a long down period now, it seems. When will it pass? Getting harder to remember this is supposed to be ME time Link to comment
MsBear Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Day 10 Aww, missed him a bit this evening Gotta keep it up, im gonna disappear from his whole entire world, so dont worry babe, U'll be just fine and dont ever think that we still have something left, and I decided to deny the existence of this relationship. Maybe he just emotionally blackmailed me all the time, trapped me in this whole relationship thingy, kicked me out of it, aww so hurt Thanks anyway,P u made me realize how naive I was...old days.. Link to comment
kate111 Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Ok update on my situation. It has now been almost 4 months. Wow. No contact since a few days after the split apart from contacts dividing assets, belongings etc. I am dating someone new. My ex knows about it through a mutual friend. He said he "misses me" but has not made any contact. Link to comment
kate111 Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Can I just say that no contact works. Do not contact them. Out of sight IS out of mind. Better to totally cut them off and start anew. I am very happy with life at the moment. Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 This is great news, Kate. You've really come a long way. Link to comment
Insidious1 Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 ***************QUESTION******************** Should i take her off my myspace "Friends" list. So long as she is on there.. she can see my page... view the comments and pics people leave me... etc etc etc... I SORTA want her to be able to see it as there are LOTS of woman and friends commenting on how good a time we have been having.... BUT... i also don;t want her to get the urge to know about me.. go on Myspace... and see me and what i've been up to. I DOUBT she has/does do this.. but i think IF she even thought about contacting/knowing about me. she would choose THIS path as it requires NO real effort from her. Any ideas? I DON"T wanna just do it out of spite. And its not exactly "Easy" to do. If she did try to look at my page.. it would be VERY obvious that i had done this intentionally. My profile is NOT set to private (which she knows) and she IS on my friends list (somewhere...). I would have to take her off my friends... and then go and change my profile to "Private" so she can;t see me. BUT.. her friends could see me as they are on my "friends" list too. So to COMPLETELY disappear.. i would have to go through.... find her and ALL her friends... delete them... THEN set everything to private. It seems like a bit of a hasssle... Anyone think that her seeing my profile is THAT big a deal where i should do this? Link to comment
The Wheel Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Day 27...I think. It's been a few days since I last wrote, but I think it's around 27 days into NC. It's all about ups and downs. This morning was down. This evening is up. Ignorance is bliss though and I am quite grateful that I handled this whole situation with the utmost class and dignity. No urge to call or checkup on her. Do I still think of her? Of course, but I'm looking forward to the day when I can look back on this with fond memories and nothing more. Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 It's been well over a month since i spoke to her. I have gone about 4 periods of no contact lasting about a month. something in the back of my mind makes me want to pick up the phone and call her. I guess i'm just feeling lonely right now. i miss the way we talked. i miss the little jokes we used to share. i miss her kid. i miss her. however. i do not miss her flirting. i do not miss her lies. i do not miss her making me feel like i'm nothing. i do miss her accusing me of cheating when she is the one that is doing so. i do not miss the nervous feeling of waiting to see how she would react if i told her i didn't like these behaviours. maybe i'm just hormonal. mabye the constant dreams i'm having about her are making me fell this way. i know there are going to be days when i feel down like this. i loved her. she hurt me. tomorrow will be better. shoes Link to comment
UnderBear Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 i know there are going to be days when i feel down like this. i loved her. she hurt me. tomorrow will be better. shoes I am on my first of my downs. Been lasting for several days now. Really hope it will be better soon... Let's hang in there Link to comment
comfyshoes Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 YES! lets hang in there Underbear! Lets prove to ourselves (if not them) that they may be able to hurt us but they cannot break us! stay strong my friend! shoes Link to comment
Tshwane Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Day 1 again - Tested the waters and hung around her the past 7days. She lied to me about having someone else, i went to visit and found him there. I didn't go in. Later "sorry you had to find out this way, didn't knw how to tell you". Whole week she was telling how i was still the man for her but she just needed time to sort her life out. Lost it, bottomline she says she likes him(not love) but she has no baggage with him unlike me. I'm hurt but at the time i did what i thought was right, so i forgive myself. I'm trying to pick up the pieces again. She made a choice and im trying to resppect it, just wish she would've told me straight up. Hopefully this time is third time lucky with NC, meaning i won't break it. Link to comment
SLBG Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Im on day 3 of NC, have broken NC a few times but this time really feels different... Ive really started to let go of her, I feel a hell of alot better about things.... Link to comment
papalazarou Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Can I just say that no contact works. Do not contact them. Out of sight IS out of mind. Better to totally cut them off and start anew. I am very happy with life at the moment. Blimey Kate. I remember when you could see no light at the end of the tunnel. That is excellent news babe! Link to comment
Aldo25 Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Two weeks and one day, and I'm slowly being eaten away at inside. Sure on the outside I'm able to put on a brave show, but I keep dreaming about her every night. Little things, nice things, us reconciling etc. Only to wake up and have those good feelings snatched away, just as they were when she broke up with me I so desperately want to get in touch with her, just a "hey how's it giong?" type message. I know deep down I shouldnt, but I just want some kind of contact with her again, I havent seen her for near three weeks and I miss her so terribly much. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Day 2.. All is well in Andyland.. Well not too bad anyhow. Got a date later tonight so that should be fun.. Hope everyone is well and doing good... Link to comment
omayra Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 It is a nice challenge but i know i can't stick it out all he way. we talk on the phone like everyother week and hes my ex. its just weird. thanks Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Day 2 Well..he is not really my ex boyfriend, but a guy I've been obsessing about for the past 4 months after a wonderful evening/night we spent together. He's in a foreign country and has been playing cat and mouse with me ever since, both saying that he really likes me and wants to see me again AND that he is now involved with another girl and doesn't want to hurt her or my feelings Until now, I had decided to "stay friends" and was in touch with him on a regular basis on MSN (but I was ALWAYS the one actually starting the conversation). A few days ago I finally came to my senses and realised it only brings me heartache as I am still hoping for something that will not happen....](*,) Anyway....I've decided to take the NC challenge in order to stop obsessing/fantasizing about him and move on !!! Link to comment
MsBear Posted May 16, 2007 Share Posted May 16, 2007 Day 11 Feeling a bit down at the moment Nevermind this will go away sooner or later Have to concentrate on my study and my goals I'll try my best. god bless me Link to comment
supercalifragilistic Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 Day 42 I think... Well, no more bad days related to the ex since last time I posted about being sad over him. I still love him and want him back but I could go quite a bit longer without seeing him...I'm not needy and desperate anymore...it would be nice to have him, but if I can't, what can I do? I might try one last time, but then that's it... I'm starting to feel like breaking NC to ask him about this one item I have that's his...whether he wants it back because it's sort of taking up space here...but at the same time I don't want to contact him before he has the chance to do it...if he's going to do it, that is...if he's not, then it doesn't matter when I contact him...but I have no way of knowing that so I guess I just have try my luck...I'm finally starting to feel ok about seeing him and not expecting anything and not being upset...I guess if this lasts for a whole week it's safe to say I can contact him...but we'll see...anyways, I'm just rambling... Bottom line is, NC RULES and I can't imagine any other way for me to get over the sorry state I was in...and in less than 40 days..other than having the ex back, of course But that wouldn't have fixed all the issues I had. So anyone who's having doubts, keep it up, it works wonders if you let it Link to comment
kate111 Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 Blimey Kate. I remember when you could see no light at the end of the tunnel. That is excellent news babe! I'm sure I will have my ups and downs. But on the whole I feel fine. If I can get through this then anyone can. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted May 17, 2007 Share Posted May 17, 2007 Day 3 Feeling fine for now. I think its not going to be so hard not to contact him now that I have removed him from MSN. I know it sounds silly to be so obsessed with him since we were not even in a real realtionship but I have never clicked with someone so quickly and was completely infatuated from day 1 (or should I say minute 1, it was "love" at first sight on my side). I've been in much longer relationships before where I was not feeling the same way so I don't quite understand it, I feel like I'm 15 years old !!! Anyway...the point is that it is not healthy to be obsessing so much (given the fact that he obviously doesnt want the same thing I want). So it is definitely NC for 27 more days...and then we'll see.. Link to comment
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