lauramed Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 30 some odd days. Not going to count them anymore because then I start thinking of long it's been since I've talked to him. I actually was feeling better the last few days. Now though the hurt is starting all over again. I wish I could stop the questions that run through my head, like does he miss me, does he even think about me at all? I know at some point I will break NC. I figure if I do one of two things will happen. We'll at least be able to talk or he won't respond at all and maybe that's what I need to happen at this point. Then I'll at least know that he's totally over me and I'll have no choice but to finally let this go and move on. As for today just not strong enough to handle that outcome. Link to comment
cookiedough1 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Day ~13-14 I feel like things are so rough. I get through the day but every single day has its moments. I just want to have a day when I don't feel bad. I can't stop thinking about him, missing him, wanting him. I'm afraid I'll never find such an attractive, nice guy. I know I feel that way because I'm not looking for anything else. But, I can't shake that fear. I feel like I lost my chance at happiness. And all i can do is NC. There's no point in talking to my ex because he knows where I stand. He didn't even reply with a thank you when I sent him an ecard for his bday two weeks ago. I feel that he's just doing whatever he can to not lead me on. I really feel like some pathetic little girl, hung up on a guy who could care less Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I dont know what day im on..2...3...either way Im not gonna count anymore. Cos im not gonna contact her ever again. Have met someone else who has been in a very similar position to me with her last relationship which ended a few weeks back and have got really close to her as a result. Ive known her a while but only really started talking to her a few days ago and we had one of those weird conversations where you're so on the same wavelength you know what each of you is gonna say next. So long as she stays at least a good friend I hopefully wont feel the need to contact my ex. Im not aiming for a new relationship obviously...but having a very close friend who completely understands and I can help as well is a huge help. I really must say to everyone reading this: You're all great people and you deserve better than those who have cheated on you/dumped you/treated you badly. If you care enough to take it this badly, you deserve someone who returns your care. There are people who will make you happy out there and theirs always someone to make you happy within your reach. Dont settle for anything less. Link to comment
iminsane Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Hi folks, Hope everyone doing good in their NC. I realized as time goes things changes. I'm listening to an awesome song, which makes me happy. I sometimes forget my ex for 3 or 4 hours. I think i'm on the road to recovery. I don't know what's happening in her life. I'm single and happy now. Wish everyone here good luck in their NC. Nothing but time works !! Keep going strong Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Guys, day 8!! I have a question, is contacting the ex's family considered breaking NC? I love my ex in laws, and I want to know if further down the line it's ok to contact them? i've been wondering about this myself. i've had some contact with her brother in law...mostly because he contacted me...just to see how i was doing. it's hard when the family (especially a large one) feel that they were very connected to you. it makes me more reluctant to move on i think. it's just one more thing that i have going for me in the grand scheme of things. very hard to know how this kind of situation will play out. in my situation...the ex is going to be living with her sister and this brother in law that i've talked to. so i'm i feeling pretty unsure about continuing to talk to him...like somehow i'm hoping that he'll make a comment in passing that he's been talking to me... i think the whole situation might make me a little crazy. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 that's why NC is a good thing cookie...you'll stop feeling this way. it's empowering if you let it be. be strong... Link to comment
SaraNala Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Today is officially day 1 for me! Wish me lots and lots of luck! I love this forum and I wish you all the best as well!! Today qualifying as 02/25/09 Link to comment
philove Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Day 7 I'm feeling pretty good actually, going out tonight with a few colleagues from work and I will drink! I'm doing this as a test to myself to prove I can drink alcohol and still not get any urges to contact my ex, after I blew 9 days of NC last time. Wish me luck Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Day 2 Feel like crap... No change there. Determined not to break NC again until May. But then I've said that a few times now! Its got to start getting easier... Hasn't it? Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Day 24 for me - nothing to report apart from the usual. I seem to have regressed a bit this week, I used to go through periods of constantly thinking about my ex and her new boyfriend having sex (seeing as they are in their honeymoon period), then I stopped myself as I realised it was pointless and hurting me. After about a week or two of not thinking these things they have suddenly returned and are stronger than ever, I woke up this morning with some terrible images in my mind. Arg, I thought I was through this stage... I sometimes wonder if I should stop counting the number of days I've been in NC as it doesn't really seem to achieve anything. Anybody else feel this way? I suppose it helps me see how far I've come in a 'time' sense. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Just another day. Thinking of him....but there are more important things I have to deal with, like finding a new job. I need to get my own life back together first.... Link to comment
lauramed Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Thought I was doing better this week but the last two days have been bad. I don't know if he's seeing anybody but I'm sure by now he probably is and that was the first thought in my mind when I woke up this morning. I try not to count the days but I know it's been 5 weeks since I ran into him. I just wish he hadn't gone out of his way to talk to me because then I started thinking that he must still care, must still be interested in some way. What a fool!! I have such an urge to break NC right now because I feel like I'm running out of time with him. How pathetic is that?? If he cared at all he'd be calling me. Right now I actually wish I could hate him....would be so much better than feeling pain all the time. I guess it's baby steps for me in this healing process. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 day 10 ! Having my own problems with anxiety/panic but ill get over this without him! Link to comment
Sunkist09 Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 guys, should I block or unblock my ex on chat? we don't talk. Link to comment
rayah Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 i am sooo excited its officially day 1...well yesterday at like 11:30 am is when I really started it but todays the FULL day. I am not worried about him and I usually look at his facebook page like a bajillion times and i looked at it like only a thousand times [haha]. the more i think about everything the more i realized that i really was used. and it's a shame because im such a good and beautiful person. but it's okay. because this will only make me stronger. i have no desire, whatsoever, to ever talk to him today. at first when i was like thinking about no contact i was like, who am i going to talk to like about music and all types of stuff. but i can still listen to music, in fact i did it yesterday. i decided that im not going to talk about my ex to anyone [except to my counselor]. im not salty over the situation either. sometimes i get mad that he did that to me but everything happens for a reason!!!! loving life! Link to comment
ToodlePip Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Day 7. Ha. Tip n-23243234 for not thinking about our ex. Get your company to put all staff into a consultation period. Focuses the mind...! Gah. Link to comment
Sev Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 Day 1 Im back! My attempt at friendship ended badly. Well lets just say it was going ok but all she kept doing was reminding me we will only be friends, i was doing all the chasing and she just didnt seem to want to know me at all. When i saw her today she kept saying how i was seeing her all the time and dropping hints, i just just turned around and said "look this wont work im going" Then i turned and walked off and left it at that. I sent her a text saying i wished we could be friends but i felt like her heart wasnt in it and she was seeing me out of pity. I said i didnt want that and if she wants to be firends she knows were i am. Im leaving it at that now and taking some good advice and going NC again. I should of never broke it if im honest. But this time i intend to stick to it. I think ive finally hit a point now were i know its over, i dont want to be friends and i dont think i would weant her back now after the way she has treated me. I hope to god i get through this soon. Im sick of feeling bad over someone who couldnt give a * * * * about me. My advice to anyone is dont break NC and definetly dont try be friends, it doesnt work. Well for me anyway. Link to comment
rayah Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I have two questions: 1) how long had y'all been dating 2) how long had y'all tried to be friends? Link to comment
lauramed Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 OMG he just called me. What a fool I am....I answered. This was a bad day. Found out that I have to have major work done on my car, which I can't afford. Sitting at my desk crying and he was the first person that I wanted to call because I knew he would understand and would end up making me laugh. Then all of a sudden my phone rings. I'm sure that I didn't do the right thing by answering, but I couldn't help myself. I just knew that I would hear from him eventually. Wants to meet up over the weekend. I don't want to blow this and have it backfire in my face again. Help!!!! Link to comment
Sev Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I have two questions: 1) how long had y'all been dating 2) how long had y'all tried to be friends? 1) 2 years, lived together was planning a family 2) Since firday, i saw her friday lunch for 30 mins, then monday i saw her for 5 mins and 1 min yesterday to get some post off her. Apprently i seeing her "all the time" She has another guy who she hasnt told she is still seeing her ex as friends. I think she lacks morals to be honest. She is out for number 1. Link to comment
TLguy Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 She has another guy who she hasnt told she is still seeing her ex as friends. I think she lacks morals to be honest. She is out for number 1. I here ya mate. Same thing happened to me. Its nearly 2 months since the break up and Im feeling good because its friday now (allbeit 1am..) and Im finally starting to feel like Im close to the stange where I wont care anymore. Im on day 5 or something of this new NC. With the last NC I always wished she was contact me...then she did and it just made me feel bad again. I learned the hard way. Link to comment
rayah Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 1) 2 years, lived together was planning a family 2) Since firday, i saw her friday lunch for 30 mins, then monday i saw her for 5 mins and 1 min yesterday to get some post off her. Apprently i seeing her "all the time" She has another guy who she hasnt told she is still seeing her ex as friends. I think she lacks morals to be honest. She is out for number 1. Oh okay i was in the same boat as you...been with him for two years then he broke up with me b/c he 'wanted to be single' then not even 2 months after he was talking to a new girl [it's been 7 months now and they're still talking and he's not talking to any other girl]. he was the one that wanted to be friends [ so for the past 7 months we were friends]. but now i realized he was just using me b/c he knew i cared so much about him and would do anything. but he was still there for me too so i thought that it was an eye for an eye. but i see it differently now. p.s. i doubt the new girl [they're not official yet] knows that him and me were still friends. whatever...and he had the nerve to say [not even a wk ago] that we were 'genuine friends'...im so done with him that i really dont care about what he's doing or how he's feeling. its time for someone to worry about me!! we WILL get through this! Link to comment
ladyjp Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 guys, should I block or unblock my ex on chat? we don't talk. I say block. Why even make it look like you are waiting for something from him, you know he thinks that. If you block him it is like- don't want to hear from you. Better yet delete him completely from your friends list. Link to comment
rayah Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 you know what i realized. that even if we [let me just talk from me only] 'i' never want to talk to my ex again. glad to be moving on with my life, finally, i can't lie. i'm a little upset that he hasn't contacted me. i guess his new lady is enough for him. i mean i just want to be able to not pick up the phone or not answer his text. but he's not giving me the chance. hmph. lol ok ok that does seem a little childish. i take it back. lol. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 day 14...got an email. just letting me know that she'll be moving the rest of her stuff this weekend. also mentioned that this is hard for her too. almost feels as if she's trying to console me. i feel like i'm caught up in the circumstances that we find ourselves in. i'm almost completely alone...whereas she's been able to put her life on hold and depend on her family for a time. i don't know who has it easier. i'm wondering if she's only delaying the inevitable at this point...that when she really gets back out on her own...she'll start to feel the brunt of this. i'm having a hard time getting past this. feels like she has so much support in her life. i guess that's why i'm here. Link to comment
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