Hello, I'm Furious

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I promise you, this IS relevant.

 

I am suddenly utterly repulsed by sex. It's a completely stupid enterprise that has become completely twisted out of all proportion. People seldom fall in love you *you* anyway. I mean, lets be honest.

 

Nothing whatsoever has "happened" to me at all to make me think like this. It's a purely organic revelation I've had, completely unaided, in the past few weeks.

 

it's part of the reason I can't bear to read a lot of ENA anymore. Sex sex sex, "how can I make her want me? Why does he look at porn? ETC ETC ETC".

 

My boyfriend has done nothing wrong. I just now want to hurl when I think of sex. It seems awful. Its not a lack of desire, its active repulsion.

 

I've never been abused. I havn't joined a weird cult. I've just had this realization. Why might that be?

[RayKay]

I don't know....but have you talked to a therapist or anything about it? I am concerned of the impact it will have on your relationship; even when you are together for MANY other reasons, the rejection and "repulsion" tend to make someone feel resentful and unattractive themselves.

 

Sex is not the answer to everything, but it certainly is a healthy, normal part of life.

 

I think this is really something you need to discuss with a professional though to figure out where it comes from, why, and what choices there are. As this is different than even asexuality, if you are repulsed by it.

[The Law]

Life is for us to enjoy in a positive constructive way. Sex is just a tool to show us our love for eachother. Its not a tool of torture or designed to make you unhappy. As said to give and receive love , a life of a human doesn't last long,and the same counts for almost all living creatures in nature, compare a life with the time that the earth is around and you see that are lives are flashes that's why everything is so focused on reproducing, not just humans. Its also how we as species survive, and why males are so obsessed with having sex. Woman seem to find everything interesting exept sex.

[Norway]

Honestly, sex is what you and your s/o make it...

 

If you see it as an intimate way for you and someone else to show you're love then how is that repulsive?

 

If you see it otherwise, then imho, you might be looking at it in a wrong way.

[Dako]

AL,

 

To be truthful, I also cringe about the subject here.

It's almost as if a quest for the perfect bj or position trumps love or caring to some folks.

Scoring, getting some and all that.

 

"Should I leave her? She's perfect in every conceivable way but won't ----- me." Me me me..

 

I'm not put off by sex, but in some contexts it's pretty vile.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

"Women seem to be interested in everything except sex?"

 

Its THAT kind of sex attitude/generalization which is so awful. I know many women who enjoy sex. I know a few guys, shock, who are INDIFFERENT to it. I don't have the energy to sugar coat that. Sorry.

 

I do definitely need professional help. Sorry, I mean even more professional help.

 

I want to be alone, I want no one to touch me in THAT way.

[Norway]

so... you're telling me some guys are pigs and some girls are equal pigs?

 

Why judge the whole population off of a low percentage of immature/sex fiends?

 

Make sex whatever you and your s/o make it to be. Don't let others sway your perception.

 

Ultimately it's your choice so I am only trying to show you that you're theory about how sex is repulsive is what your own percieption others make it to be.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

NO.

 

I'm talking about my distress at my IRRATIONAL and *sudden* hatred of it. I don't care tremendously what others do, although this site triggers manically angry feelings sometimes.

 

There will always be jerks of both genders. Absolutely.

[Spugly Fuglet]

There are many who do not have sex and many who feel just as you do, not just thows who take the cloth or monks life.

 

There is nothing wrong with it many go throw life feeling like sex is over played.

 

I have often felt odd becouse my sex drive dos not seem to be like others,

when Im working and my minds in the zone for week, mouths and years on end then sex is well reposive.

 

Then just as fast im back on heat could be a bi-poler thing

[Slacker]

I want to be alone, I want no one to touch me in THAT way.

 

I know someone who feels that way about now, it might be chemical, if you work on it then it's temporary. Someone on these forums once said "sex is 99% of a bad relationship, and 1% of a good one"

 

In the mean time, i'd just express as much as possible to you s/o (to clarify things) keep your distance from sex, and talk it over with a pro. maybe even some time away from it will reverse your repulsion.

 

Theres not much else that you can do, i mean what fun would it be if we could all control how we felt about things?

[DN]

It is not that you are thinking this way at the moment that is important but why.

 

There is a reason for it - and that is what you need to discover.

[chai714]

If anything in particular makes you feel bad about yourself, I suggest you take that particular element out of your life until you can one day cope with it again. If it's visiting this website, so be it.

 

Like RayKay, I also suggest getting professional help regarding your emotions and thoughts.

[doyathink]

AL,

 

To be truthful, I also cringe about the subject here.

It's almost as if a quest for the perfect bj or position trumps love or caring to some folks.

Scoring, getting some and all that.

 

"Should I leave her? She's perfect in every conceivable way but won't ----- me." Me me me..

 

I'm not put off by sex, but in some contexts it's pretty vile.

 

Thank you Dako, I need to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

 

So many young girls think that by having sex with a boy, you will earn their love. I really dislike hearing ppl say that sex is a way to show someone your love. There are way too many ways to show someone you love them without having sex. This type of thing confuses young girls into thinking that by giving it up, they will be loved.

 

Maybe it's just me, but sex is simply pleasure. If your not in the mood to have sex but your s/o is and you do it anyway to please them, you're only building resentment. It becomes less of a pleasure when you feel you have to do it to keep them pleased or to keep them from straying.

 

Maybe you are feeling this resentment because you feel it is something that must be done so the pleasure has been removed. If I am made to feel I 'must' do it then I am repulsed by it also.

[gattsuga]

why don't you just abstain from sex then. it's your body, u can do whatever you want. nobody is forcing you to have sex, or even do any sexual acts.

 

i watched a documentary about a group of people who boycotted sex completely from their lives... they have a wesite, but I don't remember what they're called. You don't need to give in to the pressures of society. Just b/c other people enjoy sex, doesn't mean you need to.

 

the reason i remembered this documentary was because two of the leaders of this boycott sex group eventually got married... and guess what? they tried out sex for the first time to experiment. at the end of the documentary they said they've stepped down as leaders and have sex frequently.

 

maybe there's just something more you need to make sex good.

[Dilly]

Dako's perspective does hold some water.

[turqoise]

is this true?

 

"sex is 99% of a bad relationship, and 1% of a good one"

 

I went through a phase where I was just disgusted at the thought of sex. For a couple of weeks, it wasn`T too long. I`m not sure what triggered it, but when it happened I jst abstained for a while and tried to understand it. Even cuddling made me think of it so couldn`T do that. I don`t know what I`d recommend, everyone else seems to have good advice, but in my case, one day when my ex and I were having fun, it just naturally progressed to us getting intimate and me feeling the love and finding I wanted to do it with him.

[Layword]

If your repulsed by it then don't have sex. Simple as that, we can't help you, you have to help yourself.

 

It's obviously stemmed from something, most likely stress. In anycase, if you don't want to have sex then don't. Cheers~

[Survictor]

Sex is great, Love with sex is so much better.

 

Maybe you are sick of the sex without love?

 

It can feel pretty icky if this is what you want and it ain't there!

[itsallgrand]

Anti, I agree with RayKay here. Really understand the reluctance to go get yet more therapy as you said, but hey, if it helps, it helps.

And it is your best shot right now.

 

On a personal note, I have been through periods of time where sex has repulsed me. And this was with my ex, who I loved, and who I felt safe with.

It was during one of my 'switch'es where my perception kinda turned inside out: usually, I enjoy all that good stuff and saw him as beautiful, sexy, all of this.

At that time though, all I could see was wriggling flesh. Mechanical nature.

And it repulsed me.

(also led me off into philosophical meaderings re: life and death)

 

Just keep your eyes on the prize: a healthy balanced life. I know X is important to you.

 

take care Love.

 

p.s. It's nice to see you here again..though I understand the need to leave sometimes.

[silky88]

yeah, i've gone thru phases, too, where i;ve been repulsed by sex... not the physicality of it, per se, but from a detached analytical viewpoint. it's like -- why do we do this, why do we find it necessary, why does everyone see it as a terribly important part of life... sometimes you're confronted with the notion that it's just a big mess of hormones and slippery spots, trying to get off, or to get others off, and for what?

 

in addition, i recently came accross a funny blog of an older lady who characterizes her past sexual urges as just a biological drive -- she's a great writer, check it out...

 

link removed

[Dako]

Interesting link, silky.

 

It is hard to watch some young folks screw up their lives for the sake of sex. Unwanted kids, using each other, diseases and angry relationships, all just to get off. Love's the thing.

[pregnantkitty_1985]

Sex is great, Love with sex is so much better.

 

Maybe you are sick of the sex without love?

 

It can feel pretty icky if this is what you want and it ain't there!

 

I don't think that was her point. Based upon my observations of some of her other posts, she and her boyfriend are in love. And she stressed that her boyfriend has done nothing wrong.

 

I agree though, love with sex is so much better.

[eriko]

Hmm...a world without sex...hmmm..I can think about that for about 20 seconds, because that's approximately how long that world would last..

 

What others have created from their sexual desires (insecurities regarding sex..this "sexual enterprise" you speak of) should not affect you. Why should you take two seconds from your day to be influenced by what others have done to contort the beautiful and natural act of sex?

 

Idk..it just seems to me that you may be in search of attention...you might subconsciously be trying to be someone so radically different from others that they are actually (oddly enough) drawn to you...

 

Just my opinion though..

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Of course I want attention!

 

I'm surprised this produced three pages, but the good news is that I'm worrying about other things now and am having more sex than just about everyone else I know. Hoorah.

 

I never felt I needed to have sex with anyone to earn their love. I've had people tell me how much they loved me after merely dating them, maybe a few kisses. I'm entirely clued up on that aspect.

 

Simply put, a lot of people sicken me, I suppose.