The subject of Sex (from a guy POV)

[heloladies21]

I think you think you have more of an impact than you thought.

Oh so me and my brother just got lucky at the exact same time after making the exact same discoveries after both dealing with a lifetime of the same garbage you're complaining about? Come on, too much of a coincidence.

 

And "that's just the way it is" (as what you said in the 1st post) doesn't fly with me. Should minorities have accepted mistreatment because "that's just the way it was?"

Nah, male/female interactions and racism are completely different animals. The motivations are different and everything is on a case by case basis when it comes to guys and girls.

 

You shouldn't have to work so hard.

Who said this is hard work? I had to work hard to learn and finally get to the point where I know what I'm doing, but now I just simply act and react. Now I don't have to try at all.

 

You should just be yourself.

I am always myself.

 

 

Most women don't ask out guys, don't initiate. Sure some do, but it's not the norm.

?? I never said they do. I'm the one who said this is the way evolution has set it up and it's pointless to argue against it or try to change it. Good luck fighting against millions of years and the will of the man upstairs.

 

My g/f initiates it as much as I do so it's not a problem I have experienced anytime recently. The reasons I am with her is because she is exactly the opposite of what I was describing.

Again, I'm not sure as to your true motivation here because people usually only complain when there is a problem. And if your girl is acting right, then it's because you act right.

 

But again, we live in a society where the "size" of the engagement ring supposedly illustrates how the guy feels about his woman. On that note, that is another "tradition" that needs to be updated. Wedding rings, I agree with because it's a marriage and both get it but engagement rings may have to be the silliest invention ever.

Again I'm not sure what you're really so mad about. If you don't wanna buy an engagement ring, don't. If you wanna buy a small one, go ahead (it won't make a difference to how much she cares about you, that's a fundamental misunderstanding of how women think, and if you think I'm wrong then look at all the girls who are completely obsessed with the most broke losers). If you just wanna complain because it's expected of you, fine waste the space and energy. But if you want to change the expectations of ALL men and women in society, good luck. There a great prize (???) in it for you when you reach that finish line.

[dogheadma]

No, I'm just trying to understand the statement you made when you said, "some women are more interested in sex than their man, but more often then not they will not initiate it." On what information are you basing this?

[TiredMan]

It is NOT the will of the man upstairs, as you said, that women are thought of in this manner. Every country has it's own customs. Doesn't mean some people don't agree with it.

 

So you and your brother are representative of the entire male/female situation? Cmon!

 

"Nah, male/female interactions and racism are completely different animals. The motivations are different and everything is on a case by case basis when it comes to guys and girls." As if racism isn't a case by case basis too?

 

No my girl is the way she is not because of how I act. It's because if she wasn't, she wouldn't be my g/f.

 

Again, I'm not mad. That is the 2nd time that was said. It makes you wonder when people do that. I made this one post and if anything, people got all defensive rather than me being mad. Oh and believe me, I detest the whole idea of an engagement ring. I also detest the whole "valentine's day" thing. I barely acknowledge it because why should I tell someone I love them on that day? I tell her every day. Just because someone made up that "holiday", I'm supposed to buy flowers/chocolate? I think I did that once and never again lol.

 

Evolution did not set up anything when it comes to that. it's very simple. The women who act this way do so because they have their whole life and have gotten away with it. Just like there are women out there who think a man "should take care of them" but it's VERY rare that you will hear any guy say that a woman should take care of them.

 

Again, you point out some exceptions as if that makes any difference. I didn't post every single woman on the face of the earth does these things. But many, many do.

[heloladies21]

(Tiredman) You have your woman and she acts the way you want her to so I'm not sure exactly how any of the things you complain about affect you.

 

Why did you write this post in the first place? What is your goal?

[melrich]

So you and your brother are representative of the entire male/female situation? Cmon!

 

No, according to you TiredMan, your personal experience is representative of the entire male/female relationship.

[Daddy Bear]

nice to have you back, TM, and i'm sorry to see that you're still struggling in relating to women. i wish i could think of something to say that would convince you that they are no better or worse than us, and that the world is not slanted in their favor.

[TheRedQueen]

1) Why is that when the woman is not in the mood, the guy just has to deal with it but when the man isn't, there is "something wrong" or she starts to worry that he's not into her anymore? How ridiculous is that?

 

If I'm not in the mood, my man's gonna have to deal with that fact, and if he's not in the mood I'm gonna have to deal with that too (though I can often change his mind/mood, and in all fairness he is also allowed to try to change my mood/mind as well ).

 

2) Why, in so many relationships, is it the guy who is "supposed to" initiate sex? I can't tell you how many things i have read where a woman complains that the guy doesn't initiate sex like he used to. But he won't get off her lazy butt and initiate herself.

 

In general I think that guys initiate sex more, simply due to the fact that they tend to be more horny, or "sexually-inclined" (I myself am an exception to this rule). In regards to girls initiating sex, I know that all the girls I acquaint myself with have initiated sex with their partners on multiple occasions.

 

3) Why do so many magazines tell the guy that he has to make her feel special and do all this stuff for her, and she will reciprocate by making love to him? As if sex is just for HIS benefit.

Perhaps, just maybe because these magazines are totally full of crap.

 

4) Why do so many women want to be treated and thought of equally (which I completely agree with) but then still expect the guy to fix everything, protect her, hold doors, open door, and all that other "old school" stuff? They claim they are old fashioned that way. I think it's more of a case of wanting the best of both worlds.

I think every woman would not only want to be treated with respect, but in regards to their boyfriends, would also want to be treated like a "lady". I'm sorry but I see absolutely nothing inherently wrong with this.

 

5) Why do so many women who dress provocatively complain when people look at them like a piece of meat? If I went outside wearing a cop outfit, should I really complain if people think I'm a cop?

 

I don't get this, if she were dressed as a piece of meat i.e. as a slab of tenderloin or a lamb chop, then and only then would it be fair for onlookers to infer that she "was" a piece of meat (for Halloween let's say).

6) Why is it accepted in society for a woman to slap a guy hard accross the face if he says or does something she doesn't like? But a guy can't get away with that? And the argument on the guy's strength never flies because if I find a guy much bigger and stronger on me and I slap or hit him, I deserve for him to beat me down.

 

I've never slapped a guy who didn't want me to, but in general I feel that physical harm should only be inflicted when with consent, or out of self-defense.

 

7) When a man gets turned down by a woman, why does he, in most cases, accept it, while when the opposite happens, she almost always gets mad. Case in point: watch any of the dating MTV shows. One in particular is that show NEXT. Almost every time the guy turns down the woman, she has to get in a cheap shot insult at him. Does not happen even nearly as often when it's the other way around.

TOTAL CRAP!!!! Just the other night I watched 4 or 5 of these shows in a row, and both men and women say snide remarks when they get nexted.

[New_Horizons]

I've never slapped a guy who didn't want me to, but in general I feel that physical harm should only be inflicted when with consent, or out of self-defense.

 

 

So would I be justified in slapping a girl in self defense if she threatened me or hit me? I nearly had a physical altercation with a girl once. She was slightly bigger than me and was very threatening. Unfortunately the odds were all against me. Even if she hit me, I knew that if I hit her back, *I* would be hauled away. If she were a guy, both of us would be hauled away.

[TheRedQueen]

If she is attacking you, you have every right to physically restrain her, but why would you slap her? I've never heard of someone slapping someone else out of self defense.

[Deviant_Kate]

Women are crazy. That's all I can come up with. We're raised that way. We're taught to act that way and think that way. It's a rare and special person who can look beyond the things they're raised to believe and see things from a more equal-minded, mature point of view.

[TiredMan]

(Tiredman) You have your woman and she acts the way you want her to so I'm not sure exactly how any of the things you complain about affect you.

 

Why did you write this post in the first place? What is your goal?

 

So you can preach about how you have all the answer. Actually no, but you do that anyway I see.

 

I clearly explained what came to me writing it. Maybe you didn't bother to read it?

[TiredMan]

No, according to you TiredMan, your personal experience is representative of the entire male/female relationship.

 

Not mine. Everyone I have ever met. You have no idea how many people tell me about their relationships and always have.

[TiredMan]

nice to have you back, TM, and i'm sorry to see that you're still struggling in relating to women. i wish i could think of something to say that would convince you that they are no better or worse than us, and that the world is not slanted in their favor.

 

Well I'm not having any more problems, thankfully. Everything seems to be going ok.

 

I never said that. These things are clearly slanted in favor of women. There are some thing slanted towards guys too and I dislike them as well. But women complain about them all the time and are never accused of "hating men". One example would be the unfair stereotype that if a man has a zillion sex partners, he is a stud. If a woman has a lot, she is a * * * *. Women rightfully complain about that often enough and aren't accused of "hating men" like a guy is if he dares say things like I have said. And many guys do think about this stuff but afraid to mention them because they would lose the sex they are presently getting.

[TiredMan]

 

In general I think that guys initiate sex more, simply due to the fact that they tend to be more horny, or "sexually-inclined" (I myself am an exception to this rule). In regards to girls initiating sex, I know that all the girls I acquaint myself with have initiated sex with their partners on multiple occasions.

 

Yes they do and it shouldn't be that way. And women are so used to this, many (again I use many because some women here will get defensive about it) just expect the guy to do it. Sure you said they have on multiple occasions but why not as much as the guy has? These are old traditions and customs that need to be updated.

 

I think every woman would not only want to be treated with respect, but in regards to their boyfriends, would also want to be treated like a "lady". I'm sorry but I see absolutely nothing inherently wrong with this.

 

Well going by old traditions a "lady" is supposed to clean the house and cook and all the other domestic stuff, which has changed with the times. thereforeeee, all of it should be updated. Women work now and make money. Guys shouldn't be paying for dates. Many guys pay for it even after the woman asks them out or initiates their meeting. So yeah as long as women don't see anything wrong with it, it wont change.

 

 

I don't get this, if she were dressed as a piece of meat i.e. as a slab of tenderloin or a lamb chop, then and only then would it be fair for onlookers to infer that she "was" a piece of meat (for Halloween let's say).

 

No but if she is half dressed or wearing provocative clothes, I'm looking at her in her a trampy way. Again, I'm not the whistling type and never have been. But they really have no right to complain, and they do, when it happens. If I walk through a high crime neighborhood with over excessive gold jewelry all exposed and out, i'm asking for trouble. If I walk around dressed like a space alien and it' s not Halloween, I can't complain if people look at me weird.

[PittItaliano]

I think you generalize a lot in this post on go by stereotypes in society. In my relationship I am ALWAYS in the mood and my boyfriend is normally the one that is "too tired". When I am actually tired and don't want to have sex he thinks something is wrong. I can't even remember the last time that my boyfriend has initiated sex because I'm always the one to do so.

 

I don't think anything needs to be "done" to get a "reward" of sex. Sex is something to be shared. My boyfriend doesn't need to buy me gifts or do anything special just to get sex.

 

Personally, I don't think my boyfriend needs to hold the door open, but he does. I just think it's kind of polite. I agree with you on your 5th point though.

 

I have only slapped my boyfriend once, and let's just say it was over an issue that was break up worthy. I don't think it is acceptable at all, and I apologized after the fact. Also, if a guy just wants to "accept" something it is his own choice. From my experience it's a mix. Sometimes you get guys who can be your friend after a break up, sometimes guys just accept it but don't want to really see you, and then you get the guys who can be totally jerks after a break-up. My ex- sexually harassed me for months after we broke-up.

 

I think you need to not look at stereotypes so much. It depends on the people and the situation.

[truthbetold]

1.) This is a generalization because when I'm not in the mood, my boyfriend accepts it, but when he is not in the mood I also accept it, this to me is how it should be. No one should try to force the issue of sex when the other is not in the mood period, cause in my situation it always leads to fighting.

 

2.)As for this issue, I think initiating sex depends on the person. I know when I first met my boyfriend I was a virgin and thereforeeee the first few times I would leave it up to him to initiate sex. After a while I became more comfortable with myself and was able to initiate sex. Now I think the ratio to me and my b/f initiating sex is about the same...actually his might be less lately, but it doesn't bother me. But I do understand because it would bother me if he gave up initiating it all together.

 

3.)Magazines are full of crap. My boyfriend has told me before that he likes to do stuff for me and doesn't need anything in return. Ofcourse this makes me want to do things for him too, and I'm not even talking about sex, I'm talking about buying him something or visa versa. Sex should not be used as something to barter with.

 

4.) I don't think that wanting your b/f to open your door is wanting the best of both worlds. Yes I agree for the most part that women should be treated equally, but on the other hand I believe that BOTH partners should do nice things (ex. open doors, pay for meals, give flowers, etc...) I myself have paid for some of the dates me and my b/f have been on, but he has too. The way you make it sound the couple should act like they are just friends and do NOTHING for one another.

 

5.)This one I agree with you on. All my life I barely ever dressed up, I hate it because I think I'm looked at like a piece of meat. I own mens pants and alot of dark blue and grays, and usually wear a hat. I don't like to stick out, part of it is social anxiety, and part of it is that I HATE when people look at me like I'm a **** when I'm just not, i've had ONE sexual partner my whole life.

 

6.)It is NEVER alright for anyone to hit another human being. As for the comment someone had about Funniest Home Videos, do you think that women are the only people who laugh at those antics??

 

7.) This is a big generalization based on STUPID reality TV. I was stalked for 6yrs everytime I said no to this guy he just tried harder to be with me. He insulted me when I finally told him I was going to file for a restraining order!

 

To be completely honest, I think what you said just generalized everyone by what part of the population does. All the things you've said can be related to both genders and you have to realize that everyone is different. My b/f had a problem with this when I first met him too, because he was with someone for so long he just had it in his mind that I would do things the same way, I had to keep reminding him, I am not her, I don't do those things, I would never do that to you, and so on. So basically I'm just trying to say you shouldn't generalize even if it is based on all your prior experiences, some people really are different.

[dogheadma]

Well TM, I have to say you make a fine devil's advocate. Very entertaining and you make some good points as well. Well done. Overall however, I would say that if you relied less on the media and what other people tell you for your information and more on your own personal experience, the answers to questions you are posing here will become much more clear.

[TiredMan]

Truthbetold, you may not do these things (as well as other females who have responded) but it's not considered "the norm". Again, there are always exceptions.

 

"The norm" is men chasing after and wooing women. Men paying for the dates (during a relationship things change, im referring to dating) whether he asks her out or she asks him out. The man proposing and buying an engagement ring. I believe this custom was fine when women weren't working as much but now that they do, this one should be scrapped. Men having sex when she is ready or in the mood. Sure sometimes women do have sex with their guy if they don't want to but I'm talking in general. Again, if a man turns down a woman for sex, I guarantee she will think he is cheating, not interested in her anymore or there is something wrong.

 

"ex. open doors, pay for meals, give flowers, etc". Ok how many of these are done by women usually? It's pretty rare for a guy to get flowers from a woman. It's pretty rare for the woman to pay for the complete date UNLESS THEY ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP. Its pretty rare to see a woman pulling out the chair for a guy no?

 

Hitting anyone is wrong. I wouldn't hit anyone unless they are attacking me. But a guy hitting a woman is frowned upon even if she hit him first. This is just the warped view that is prevalent now.

 

And dogheadma, I'm talking from my own personal experiences in the past, to what I've seen and witnessed many times.

[Scout]

Tiredman, I have a question for you. In your title, you refer to it as a "Guy's point of view." Do you still, after reading posts from numerous males disagreeing with you, believe that what you're expressing is representative of the male gender?

 

I'm honestly curious. Because if so, I want to know what reasoning you are using to discount the statements to the contrary of the posters here.

[TiredMan]

Well unless I have a sex change operation, it is still A GUY's POV. I didn't say EVERY SINGLE GUY's POV lol.

[Scout]

Well unless I have a sex change operation, it is still A GUY's POV. I didn't say EVERY SINGLE GUY's POV lol.

 

Gotcha.

[TiredMan]

Gotcha.

 

Good.

 

I can't believe no more follow up questions. You post a few thoughts and it turns out to be like the most read and responded thread in the history of mankind hehe.

[Scout]

I can't believe no more follow up questions. You post a few thoughts and it turns out to be like the most read and responded thread in the history of mankind hehe.

 

Well...I have plenty of follow up questions! I just don't know where to start, lol.

[dogheadma]

Nothing to see here. Move along now.

 

Ah, I see where this negativity comes from. It's your attitude. I guess that's why you see and hear about all these other people treating each other so badly. Fill your universe with junk the universe will return in kind. The mind is it's own place. It can turn a heaven into a hell or a hell into a heaven. Something to keep in mind.

[TiredMan]

Well...I have plenty of follow up questions! I just don't know where to start, lol.

 

When u have them, feel free to shoot them at me. I don't get on this thing that much anymore except the last 2 days.

 

If I don't get to them, shoot them to me in PM in case I don't go into the threads later on.