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Hi, all. Longtime reader, first-time poster.


I think my girlfriend and I are pretty much through. We've been seeing each other for just under 4 months. That's the classic deterioration mark, isn't it? Anyway, she persued me, came on strong, and used to call me frequently and want to see me all of the time. The sex is fantastic. She started in with the "I love yous" and "I refer to you as my girlfriend" last month. I felt happy, a little hesitant, because I was in a serious relationship with a man a year ago, so I know what getting burned feels like, but at any rate, I'm pretty content.


She stops calling so much. My colleague's anniversary party is earlier this month, and she is sitting in her apartment down, all dejected, and expecting me to call her and ask her to step up to the plate. She's drinking more, always out with her buddies from the gay bars, somewhat of a rough crowd. The other day, she yelled at me in a nasty way, in the very nasty way that my ex used to, in a way that *just a bit before that* she told me that if she ever yelled at me like that, I should DUMP.HER. * * *.


I think that's as good a sign as any. I didn't think about it then, but I do, now. After we'd made up, I asked her if he wanted to get together after I hung out with another friend. She said, "Maybe." She meant, no. She went out with the stooges again. Never called me. I went out with my ladyfriend -- and she's fairly well-known in politics, where I'm from, and we MADE OUT. We both like women, and she made no bones about being attracted to me. And she has a hubby, ugh. Next morning, crack of dawn, the GF calls, I minimize the details of my night with the politico, and she tells me about her awesome night on the town. Hasn't called since. I had a panic attack this morning, couldn't leave the house, hyperventilated and felt like the walls were closing in. Cried all day, I also have made plans for suicide, which is the second time I've done that in a week.


I asked on Friday if she was tired and wanted out. She said no. I bet she's lying; I think she wants to get to be the good guy.


I also think I need to be hospitalized. I lost my job this month. I can't function anymore, and I'm supposed to be prepping for med school and going on all of these interviews.


Advice, please...

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