why compliment if not interested

[Gratsy]

How is that a guy can tell you that you're attractive, intelligent, and fun but not be interested in you enough to ask you out? Is it because he likes attention, is flirting for fun, isn't ready to commit or does it boil down to that ever-so-popular book these days, "He's just not that into you"? Or something else?

[annie24]

well - they can think that you are a great person, but they may not feel the "romantic chemistry" necessary to date you. For instance, he may think that you are smart and sharp and he'd hire you at his company, but he just may not feel the need to kiss and be close to you, if that makes sense.

 

aren't there men that you think are great, but you just don't want to date?

[Batya33]

Happened to me many times including on first dates. Could be any number of reasons that you listed or others. Also could be that the very next day he met someone he did want to ask out. It's much easier when you just decide that until the man asks you out, you will assume he is not that into you and the reasons really don't matter unless you are aware of something you said or did that might be a turn off and you would like to change that aspect of your personality for yourself.

[rocio]

Take the compliment. Whether or not he wants to date you, he thinks you're attractive, intellegent and fun. There could be a thousand reasons that he's not ready or willing to date you. Just take the compliment and walk.

[Beec]

My question would be just the opposite, do you think a man should only compliment you if he wants you or wants something from you? Can't it be that a man could compliment because he thinks it to be true? Can't it be that a man could compliment because he is just being nice?

 

It's a compliment. Accept it, don't think there is always an ulterior motive behind it.

[itsallgrand]

Why would someone treating you decently and maybe liking you as a person mean they want to date you? I mean - why are you jumping to that conclusion?

 

Compliments can warm up a person's day. There is not necessarily any secret motives in them. At least, it seems easier not to be paranoid and do the guess-work, and rather take what comes at face value.

 

Face value: He would like you to know he finds you are smart, attractive, and fun. End.

[Cadence308]

A compliment is a compliment and people should smile and appreciate them when they get one. However, if a person is always flirting, always complimenting someone, and being attentive I would think that they were interested in something more, too. I think there's a line between just being complimentary and actually leading someone on. I have no idea why someone would do that. Maybe they need the attention, want reciprocated flattery, ego boost...

[shikashika]

whats wrong with giving a compliment?

 

I give compliments to people all the time... doesn't mean im interested one bit!

 

....if we only complimented people we wanted to go out with, the world would be a pretty sad place!

[rocio]

Let's all compliment someone today!

[rikka]

Let's all compliment someone today!

 

Agreed!!!! It is nice to receive compliments (it makes you feel good) and it is nice to give compliments (it makes someone else feel good).

 

I know I tend to read too much into certain situations (I think it is a natural response really) and I am working on not doing that. That may be the case here. Perhaps you find him funny, clever, attractive and would like to date him, so you begin to read alterior signs into his words.

 

Conversely, I know that I have gotten "in trouble" because I am friendly and polite and some guys have read into that that I want to be "more than friends" with them. So you see, it goes both ways.

 

A compliment is a compliment. Graciously accept it and pass one on to someone else!

[Caterina]

I wouldn't tell a guy that I thought he was hot and smart unless I liked him. Maybe smart, but definetly nothing to do with looks, I don't think.

[Ineedtoknow06]

you all have a good point. makes me wonder if i read into compliments in my relationships. I think you have to read body language to know if there is some attraction.