Are women more accepting of men they find physically attractive

[Salucious]

Everyone can be self-conscious about their looks, and I've posted before about it before; and the kind of responses I get from women is that women put personality/confidence before looks? But how important are looks when guys are making a first impression? I can't help but think about this, as I've never met a girl that found me attractive. Even if I am confident when I speak to a girl, if she doesn't find me physically attractive am I just wasting my time? I guess my question is in all honesty, will a girl be more accepting of a guy who they find obviously attractive whether he seems confident or not? I don't think it is conceited to put looks as a high priority, I mean don't we all want to be with someone who we feel looks sexy? I think I'd be WAY more confident if I knew a girl that found me attractive but I don't. Isn't it easier for a person who knows the opposite sex finds them attractive to be confident? How are the rest of us supposed to be confident in that way?

[Batya33]

I think there has to be physical attraction but that doesn't necesarily depend on the particular physical features of a person.

[melrich]

I think if we are being honest, people who are very attractive/good looking are are often given more allowances and are the subject to different expectations (good and bad) than those who are not.

[Aurian]

There has to be something about the face/body that appeals, but it does not necessarily have to be handsomeness. I've been attracted to homely guys who have great smiles for instance. Someone with a great sense of humour who makes me laugh can easily jump up the attractiveness scale!

[JynX]

Physical looks are what people look at first...it's what the first impression is of a person you meet. That doesn't mean that it's the deciding factor, though. Personality runs deeper than what a person looks like, even if looks are what you notice first.

 

I wouldn't want a drop-dead gorgeous guy who looks like a model, but can't hold a conversation and is as exciting to talk to as a carton of milk. To me, yes, looks matter, but there has to be personality too. Looks aren't the most important decisive factor.

[Salucious]

It is like every good-looking person I see always has a lot of friends, and members of the opposite sex around them. How can a person be confident when no member of the opposite sex has been attracted to them? I believe that acceptance in that manner is the best boost for confidence. Once you know it is possible for the oppostie sex to find you attractive, it is easier to be confident. I think this is a big issue keeping me from having true confidence. If only I knew the feeling of being desired...

[TheRedQueen]

Physical attraction is moot in comparison to being mentally and emotionally attracted to someone's personality.

[orangecounty]

Just recently I had this massive crush on this guy. I soon realized it was just a purely physical attraction. Then I met this amazing guy, he has the most attractive personality of any guy I've ever met. I completely adore him, yet he's average in appearance. But his personality makes him so physically attractive, if that makes sense?

[heloladies21]

Dude, go back and read the old posts. I already addressed this with you. It's very obvious that you have developed a complex about your height/physical and this is most definitely affecting your interactions with women. I'm not sure what else to tell you other than your fundamental belief is just wrong and it's been proven time after time that your looks, height, moeny, (insert any other superficial characteristic) can only help you when opening with a girl, but quickly go right out the window when you get into a discussion with her when she becomes focused on what you communicate to her. Until you believe this fact, there's no moving forward.

[Anna.]

I think I get what you're saying.

 

Yes, confidence is definitely attractive.

But you're gonna have to get comfortable with yourself. Even if you don't believe it, keep telling yourself: I am a desirable person with a lot to offer some lucky person.

 

I agree that it's hard to just be confident, I have that problem myself. But I just had to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. I am what I am and I have a lot to offer.

 

I read some of your old posts. And about the height thing, don't worry. I'm a tall girl (5'9) and I always thought I would never be with a guy shorter than myself. But when I fell in love with my 5'7 boyfriend, that just didn't matter. And it wasn't like I fell in love with his personality only; I was instantly attracted to the way he looked. I love his height, it's just part of who he is.

[ultraviolet]

Salucious, Genuine confidence (not arrogance or cockiness) is sexy because it comes from knowing what qualities are truly worth knowing and loving about ourselves. Looks are important in the sense that there has to be some semblance of attraction for a romantic relationship to build, but that doesn't mean you have to be coventionally "good looking" to win a girl's heart. In fact, none of the guys I've ever been attracted to, are "handsome" by society's standards (lol my friends are always saying "You like him??? Why???), but to me they're irresistible because they have the mysterious blend of inner qualities (intelligence, wit, verbally playfullness, creativity, kind-heartedness and romanticism) that drive the woman in me crazy.

 

I think it's easier for anyone who's consider "attractive" to be confident, but I don't think that those of us who aren't conventionally pretty or handsome (me included) to use that as an excuse to give up on trying. We need to find confidence in who we ARE, instead of dwelling on what we lack or what we're "not."

 

If you're shy or insecure, focus on what you like about yourself and what inner qualities you have to offer because more likely than not, when a girl does fall for you, those will be the things that make you irresistible to her.

 

Sincerely,

Someone who's shy, but playful, intelligent, kindhearted, sensuous, and fun-loving

 

Your turn!

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I can't help but think about this, as I've never met a girl that found me attractive. Even if I am confident when I speak to a girl, if she doesn't find me physically attractive am I just wasting my time??

I always think this is true. after all, how we look is probably 3/4 of the first impression. What comes out of our mouths is the rest but somehow I think if a guy is super hot, just as long as he's not a jerk, he could read a phone book and have her hooked.

 

I can't find out how I can be confident approaching a woman when I don't feel attractive. Where do I get this confidence, especially if I plan on approaching a girl in a club for example, when there are hot guys aplenty and I want to ask her for a drink or dance. I can't imagine her thinking anything else but, "Of all the guys, why him."

[RufusDawes]

Physical attraction is like a switch, its either on or off. The personality of the person is like the voltage. It will measure how strong the current (attraction) will be.

 

From what I have seen. A lot of women will tend to say it is all about the personality because we (men) generally decide how attractive we think we are and aim for women in the vicinity. They have a lot of attractive men approaching them and can virtually take their pick as men come and go. That pick, often depends on a few personality traits. What they are I do not know, but I am fairly certain you cannot properly ascertain what a personality is from brief meetings with that person. So I suppose to get the first date, mostly it has to be about looks.

[itsallgrand]

Whattya mean you are not attractive? Whatcha doing deciding for all the women out there that you are slotted in the 'unattractive' category?

 

harumphh. I might just find your looks hot if you'd give me a chance.

 

Case in point: I met a guy tonight (who I will be working with, so I will not be pursuing) who I had instant attraction to. His whole aura was simply..beautiful..to me.

 

Would he be chosen as 'most gorgeous in high school yearbook'. No. Actually, he has pock marks and he is slightly overweight and his teeth aren't straight.

 

It doesn't matter, actually, all those little things make him all the more interesting to me - physically. That's not even scratching on confidence, personality, intelligence, heart whathaveyou.

 

Fitting a mold of 'attractive' is boring. Dull. Ordinary. That's how I feel.

 

- - Give the girls a chance to love those bits about yourself that you may be hard on yourself for. Not everyone likes the same things - -

 

And the others had excellent points too.

[TheRedQueen]

I always think this is true. after all, how we look is probably 3/4 of the first impression. What comes out of our mouths is the rest but somehow I think if a guy is super hot, just as long as he's not a jerk, he could read a phone book and have her hooked.

 

I can't find out how I can be confident approaching a woman when I don't feel attractive. Where do I get this confidence, especially if I plan on approaching a girl in a club for example, when there are hot guys aplenty and I want to ask her for a drink or dance. I can't imagine her thinking anything else but, "Of all the guys, why him."

I find "hot" guys to be less attractive than "normal" looking guys. And for the record, what comes out of a guy's mouth, for me at least, is equivalent to 4/4 of the first impression.

[Aurian]

i think women are lying when they say, "looks arent that important"

 

i know that in junior high school, i was a tad on the chubby side ... but when i got in shape by the time i started college, girls treated me totally different - and that always made me upset, so ya - women tend to treat good looking men alot better than a 900 pound guy who cant even bend over to tie his shoes.

 

i grew up on the false sterotype that men only see on the outside, while women only see what's on the inside ... but in reality, it couldnt be more false.

 

sure, there are genuine men and women out there who truly do see people from the inside ... but it seems like it's so rare to come accross people like that, these days

 

So will you pick a 900 pound woman over an average one on a first glance? Its not just a woman thing. When I lost weight, I got more male attention than I ever did in high school (which was zip).

[RufusDawes]

yay its all about the looks

[heloladies21]

In general, guys and girls think differently. To ignore this is to ignore the truth.

[New_Horizons]

i know that in junior high school, i was a tad on the chubby side ... but when i got in shape by the time i started college, girls treated me totally different - and that always made me upset, so ya - women tend to treat good looking men alot better than a 900 pound guy who cant even bend over to tie his shoes.

 

 

Hey, at least you were able to change yourself physically to attract more women. I am normal weight but I'm extremely short and there's nothing I can do about that. Zip. Women have never paid any attention to me and there's no reason to believe they ever will.

[PrincessJOA]

Looks does play a part. But it doesnt determine attraction. Personality does. Period. and another full stop to that.