What have you learned from breaking up?

[SeaBisquit]

just a few things i have learned. can't say i'm doing well moving on but there are just a few things i know that i will never do again.

 

trust him- i will never ever allow myself to trust or fall into that trap again.

 

what i will do is LOVE myself and put myself first.

[Meow18]

I realized that I deserve to be respected. If someone can't respect me, why should I give myself to them?

[SeaBisquit]

i also realized that love isn't suppose to feel this bad.

[MyTeddyBear]

people don't always mean what they say and ALWAYS go with your gut feeling. Also, always say what you mean. Don't waste time. And don't let others rule how you feel about yourself. (that's what i'm still working on)

[laboheme]

I learned that:

 

- I can't take him for granted

- I need to be more optimistic and positive - I would always cry on his shoulder and use him as a scapegoat

- I work entirely too much and don't bother to make time for love

- crying about the breakup doesn't make either of us feel better - I feel depressed, he feels like a jerk

- you don't have to hate someone to break up with them

- you really don't know what you had until you've lost it

- nice guys DO exist

- I'm a selfish, pessimistic, generally unpleasant person who brought it on myself. I probably didn't deserve him

[eremy]

I hope you mean you won't trust that guy in particular, and not just that you won't trust any guy like that again. I mean...sure you're hurt and all that but if you don't have trust in a relationship, you don't have a relationship...least that's the way I see it. Love is great, love yourself, definitely. As far as relationships go...they are about compramise...you can't always put yourself first, maybe just set limits on things you're willing to give up?

[lunatic]

I hope you mean you won't trust that guy in particular, and not just that you won't trust any guy like that again. I mean...sure you're hurt and all that but if you don't have trust in a relationship, you don't have a relationship...least that's the way I see it. Love is great, love yourself, definitely. As far as relationships go...they are about compramise...you can't always put yourself first, maybe just set limits on things you're willing to give up?

 

^^^^^WOW!!!!

 

I could not have SAID THAT BETTER MYSELF!!!!

[Closure]

I've realised that this weekend I might meet someone who deserves a decent bloke in their lives

[lunatic]

Things I have learned:

 

-Never loan her money as you will be the one to pay it all off when things end.

-Never stay with someone just because your afraid to be alone.

-I need to love me before I can truly love another.

-If they cheat or lie then they MUST GO!

-If they raise a hand to me they MUST GO!

Most importantly

-Never let someone control you and force you to do things you don't want to do.

-A relationship is a two way street and if the other party is not willing to compromise then they have to GO!

[Dako]

I learned that as hard as it was to recover, it was a magnificent time in my life that I treasure. No regrets.

[krieg]

how can you not trust someone thats new, you have no reason to not trust that individual(assuming you dont know them), if you dont go into a new relationship with a open heart and open mind why you bothering in the first place?

[rose2summer]

I have learned,

 

Not to trust every word someone tells you,

 

If you have doubts, your gut is telling you that something is wrong,

 

It's probably right and should be followed or at least considered.

 

I also learned not to be manipulated or told what to do,

 

My life is mine and not that of anyone else,

 

So no man has the right to demand I follow X or Y or he will leave.

 

I came out with many great lessons and no regrets,

 

Relationships and life are a learning experience.

 

Rose

[SeaBisquit]

because i think it will be another break up. so i don't allow myself to trust or like anyone.

[Dako]

That's a healthy reaction to a breakup.

[kellbell]

Good topic. I have learned...

 

1. Always trust your instincts

2. Never move around your boundries

3. Communicate, communicate, communicate

4. Never loan credit cards or large sums of money if you are not married, I do not care how much I love the guy or how well the relationship is going, I will never do it again.

5. Never take on the other person's issues or problems thinking you are helping.

6. Never settle for less than what you feel you deserve.

7. Do not make your partner your whole world, maintain your hobbies and spend time with your friends.

[eremy]

If you don't allow yourself to trust or like anyone, it WILL be a break up. But I don't imagine you're about to just jump into another relationship anytime soonish anyways. Once you've moved on completely I imagine and hope that you'll see things in a better light

 

I've learned that relationships are a beautiful thing, whether they turn out good or bad. There isn't a better life experience. What once started out for me as being a way to give meaning to my life, has turned into something beyond what I could have imagined. Much to my rents dismay, I've always followed my heart, and let me tell you, it takes me some crazy places...as of now, it's about to take me to australia for a while!

[SeaBisquit]

well i have learned from reading back on my posts that i am really hurt and i'm being more caucious now.

[SeaBisquit]

lol jeremy thats pretty cool.....

[Entomon]

I learned that sometimes, the one person we come to care about misled us. That's reality. We can either choose to let it cripple us emotionally or move on; become jaded or learn from the experience and grow as a person. How we deal with it is what defines who we are and our character(s).

[Scout]

I learned that real, true love is absolutely incomparable. And the next time it comes my way, I'm going to put everything I have into it so I can keep it.

 

But I'll also remember that there are no guarantees I can hold onto a love with one person forever.

 

However, now that I have that realization, I refuse to be ruled by it. It's just going to make me honor and treasure love that much more when it knocks on my door again.

[chai714]

To believe more in myself and my capabilities of overcoming anything life throws at me.

[vfunkera]

The break up opened my eyes up to a lot of things people have already mentioned, but more importantly it taught me about ME. It was a turning point. Since that day, I know what i want from life, my career, my values, my dreams, my happiness, my girl etc. It was bad and painful, but it completely changed the course i was heading for, and is pivotal to who i am today, and what i will become. When i look back now, it really was a magnificant time in my life, and one that i would never change.

[renaissancewoman101]

I learned what it was like to have a "real" relationship for the first time, where actually someone really cared about you and liked you and liked being around you.

 

But then I also learned that relationships dont last forever and that with all the ups of a relationship, the downs can be devastating too.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Kellbell- i could not have said it better myself.

 

I also learned that I'm much stronger and smarter then i have ever given myself credit for.

 

That i can endure pain ...and still come out on top...on my terms.

 

Good topic. I have learned...

 

1. Always trust your instincts

2. Never move around your boundries

3. Communicate, communicate, communicate

4. Never loan credit cards or large sums of money if you are not married, I do not care how much I love the guy or how well the relationship is going, I will never do it again.

5. Never take on the other person's issues or problems thinking you are helping.

6. Never settle for less than what you feel you deserve.

7. Do not make your partner your whole world, maintain your hobbies and spend time with your friends.

[desertnomad]

I learned like others who posted on this thread to trust your gut instincts. If there is something you constantly feel is wrong then its probably the truth. And the more the other person denies it or says your just being suspcious then its probably true even more. Those people who defend themselves the loudest and point the finger of blame are most likely hiding something not the least a guilty conscience. On top of that make sure like hell you have your own world so when that person up and leaves you your whole world doesnt blow up all around you. One last thing never be with someone who cant communicate their feelings and never be with someone who cant stop communicating their feelings. I have been with both extremes. Time for a little sanity.