What's the deal with women wanting older men?

[FortunateOne]

Hi everyone. This is a questions that's been bothering me for a few years.

 

I seem to enjoy the company of women around my age (+-3yrs). I find that I have a lot in common with my generation and I want someone within my age to someday wed and grow old with, yet quite a few of them tell me they want an older man (10 yrs on average) for a serious relationship or possible future husband. Go figure.

 

I've been told it's a security and maturity thing as an answer, but I offer quite a lot of both along with my emotional and physical health. Strangely I attracts younger women in their mid 20's that are too immature. Do you women have some sort of fatherly thing going on or what? Just curious.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It is refreshing to hear of a man who wants a woman around his age. I find that most men seem to want a woman at least 8 years younger than themselves, if not more. If you check out dating websites, you find that men in their forties often want a woman 25 to 35. I gave up on dating profiles because I am looking for a man in his forties and the men looking at my profile are all over 50. I, like you, want someone within my age range because it is within the same generation, more common "history".

[Entomon]

You and I are on the same page. I'd much prefer my company in ages closest to mine. The oldest man I've ever dated and this is just for one date only was 13 years my senior - least to say - we had nothing in common. And the youngest I dated, who's six years my junior - well let's just say - all he wanted was just a good time.

 

Then again, I find that men my age are more or less attracted to women way younger or older than me.

[FortunateOne]

In my opinion men that are attracted to younger women are in it for their libido rather than a relationship. As Dr. Laura says there are males and there are men; males being the child like idiots that are shallow and men being the responsible person one needs to be to raise a family.

[Entomon]

What's your take on men who are attracted to older women? Are they just looking for a motherly figure?

[rose2summer]

Well, I used to always date men who were older by 5-10yrs,

 

Because I figured that they would be done with school and stable in their careers,

 

And be much more mature than younger men,

 

What I have found, is that older men might just carry more baggage,

 

And men tend to live 8 yrs less than woman, so I figured,

 

If I date 10 yrs, older, that means I will be widowed for 18yrs, hypothetically speaking,

 

For that reason, I am opting for men closer to my age now,

 

So I think that's why woman want the older men,

 

Is that they figure that they are more stable career-wise,

 

But in the end it just becomes a fallacy that will soon break.

 

Rose

[Yvette84]

I've always liked older men, most of my exes were like 10 to 15 years older than me. It's just nice to be with a man and not a "boy" mentally, physically, emotionally....I dunno, just a prefrance. But it doesn't always matter. It really depends on the guy, My bf now is my age and I love him to death

[FortunateOne]

In a disfuctional way, YES! They are looking for support (cash, emotions, resposibility, etc.) instead of fixing their mental state towards a more productive life. Then if the guy is in his teens or early 20's it's a sexual experince thing.

[renaissancewoman101]

I like older men because they are more emotionally stable and more apt to be adultlike and more responsible about things. I also think they play games less and are more honest.

 

But that being said, I have only dated men around my age, give or take 5 years.

[hosswhispra]

Like you, I prefer men +/- 5 years within my age range.

 

However, I noticed that men in this age group do not show any interest in me.

 

On the other hand, (I am on an online dating website) men who are 20+ years older than me state their interest in me

 

Just a few days ago, a man 55 (23 years older than me) stated his interest in me.

 

I don't think I have that much in common with a man that much older than me. Biologically, he could be my father.

[miserableme]

I like older men because they are the type that go for me. Guys my age won't go near me. I don't know why this is. A few years ago they were always 2-4 years older than me, now they are 4-9 years older than me. This is also strange because I can rarely pass for 18.

 

I don't mind though. I like the types that are past the party years.

[FortunateOne]

I do agree that women mature faster than men, yet there are a few men that are beyond their years, so I can understand womens maturity needs, yet I don't like to be stereotyped.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Not me. I prefer them around my age or maybe younger. I couldn't picture being with a 45 year old, because most guys who are only 28 to 30 already look like they could be my dad, so guys 45 often look like they could be not only my dad, but maybe my grandpa. That's just not something that attracts me. Also, as Rose said, the older they get, the more likely they are to have accumulated children, ex wives, etc.

 

Also, it's been my experience that older men tend to feel sorry for themselves and be bitter, and tell me all about all the money they spent on their last gf(s), and all the grand romantic gestures and gifts they bought them. Now, I don't know why any guy in his right mind would think I want to hear that, but they do. The younger guys I've dated are the opposite, they seem more happy and more focused on me, instead of focused on their ex. I just don't want to hear about that.

 

That said, I wouldn't rule out a somewhat older guy (and no I don't mean 50). If he has taken good care of himself, as I have, and he has no children, as I have, etc. It just depends.

[SarahRose]

I'm not sure that older = more mature.

 

Older men seem to be more set in their ways. I have a feeling that for a lot of women wether they admit it or not like older men for the economic benefits they can provide.

[FortunateOne]

I'm not sure that older = more mature.

 

Older men seem to be more set in their ways. I have a feeling that for a lot of women wether they admit it or not like older men for the economic benefits they can provide.

 

 

 

For this reason most men I know tell they prefer youger women since they didn't get their stuff together, but these men won't admit to it. Not to add fuel to the battle of the sexes they also say that's it's easy to manipulate impressional young women.

[SarahRose]

For this reason most men I know tell they prefer youger women since they didn't get their stuff together, but these men won't admit to it. Not to add fuel to the battle of the sexes they also say that's it's easy to manipulate impressional young women.

 

Oh I definitely agree with that. It's about control. Having a relationship with a mentally and financially equal woman might just be a bit too intimidating for some.

 

Maybe it makes sense as the guy will usually die sooner and she will have all his assets and then can hook up with some hot 25 year old stud.

[SarahRose]

I understand this too. After being with a man in his 20s, someone 10-20 years older than me just isn't that appealing. Out of shape and not as virile in the bed. I easily pass for mid 20s so why shouldn't I go for it if I can?

 

I wouldn't deal with anyone with kids under the age of 18 either. I raised mine and I have the freedom to do what I want and I don't want to be burdened with someone elses small kids.

[FortunateOne]

Good one. LOL.

 

Don't think that thought hasn't crossed my mind. That's why I EXTREAMLY careful when younger women chase me.

[shes2smart]

Last bf I had was 18 years older than me.

 

He was also a habitual liar and cheater.

 

My husband is 11 years younger than me.

 

He's more responsible and mature than my ex ever was.

 

When I first met my older ex, I made a lot of what turned out to be incorrect assumptions about him based on his age. When I first met my husband, I wanted to run for the hills because he was "only 26." Lucky for me he was persistent, or else I'd have missed out on the healthiest, sanest, happiest relationship I've ever been in.

 

So much for stereotypes about older men being more stable/mature/responsible/knowledgable, etc. The only way to get an accurate picture about someone is to get to know who they are as a person...not a number.

[Anna.]

My boyfriend is 6 years older than I am. I tend to like older guys b/c in my experience, the older a man gets the more he cares about women themselves and not just physical appearances or sex.

I've never really connected with a guy my own age. I don't want to stereotype younger guys, but I think everybody agrees that with age comes wisdom the majority of the time.

 

Another thing nobody's mentioned I don't think is that older men (once again in my experience) tend to be more comfortable with all things female b/c they've had more experience with females. They seem to be more in tune with women's needs.

 

And last I think there is a bigger difference in a guy in his early twenties and a guy in his late twenties than a guy in his early thirties and a guy in his late thirties. So I think it matters to me right now, but probably wouldn't later on, if that made sense.

[engagedkitty]

Hi everyone. This is a questions that's been bothering me for a few years.

 

I seem to enjoy the company of women around my age (+-3yrs). I find that I have a lot in common with my generation and I want someone within my age to someday wed and grow old with, yet quite a few of them tell me they want an older man (10 yrs on average) for a serious relationship or possible future husband. Go figure.

 

I've been told it's a security and maturity thing as an answer, but I offer quite a lot of both along with my emotional and physical health. Strangely I attracts younger women in their mid 20's that are too immature. Do you women have some sort of fatherly thing going on or what? Just curious.

 

No.

 

Anyway, in the county (in the south) that I live in- all the men, and boys, want girls far younger then them. Waaaay younger. Like dudes in their early to mid 20's are always dating the teen girls. It leaves no men left for people my age and I'm only 20. And that's why I always date older guys. There are too many 23 year olds trying to date 16 year olds and 20 year olds dating 14 year olds (what the hell?) Nice to see someone who feels they should be dating around their own age.

[PhilliesFan001]

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not dating my boyfriend because he is older, because I need a father figure, or because he's financially stable (he's seven years older). He's the first guy I ever dated who was more than a year older than me.

 

I'm dating him because he's sweet, and funny, and we share common interests, and I love him. If he were 2 years older than me, 6 months older than me, or 15 years older than me, it wouldn't matter.

 

I fell in love with him, not his age.

[itsallgrand]

No.

 

Anyway, in the county (in the south) that I live in- all the men, and boys, want girls far younger then them. Waaaay younger. Like dudes in their early to mid 20's are always dating the teen girls. It leaves no men left for people my age and I'm only 20. And that's why I always date older guys. There are too many 23 year olds trying to date 16 year olds and 20 year olds dating 14 year olds (what the hell?) Nice to see someone who feels they should be dating around their own age.

 

Akkhh!! Have a hug from me to you. This is my personal nightmare.

 

I like men close to my age range. I'm open to age-gaps that are not large, but I'd prefer to be with someone near my age.

 

As I get a bit older, I get this sinking impression that the available men in my age range is tightening. But whatever! lol.

 

This is only my opinion and feelings; but I really don't like seeing young women with older men. I'm talking young teens and early 20's with men signif. older than them. It screams to me of "hot piece".

Particularly icky to me is a teenager with a full-blown adult. My mind goes "the dude hasn't grown up yet, eh"...and it's depressing.

[doyathink]

I like men younger!! If I were to go older, I might go three years but that would probably be it. It depends on the person more than the age when it all boils down to it.

[onmyownagain]

I have nearly always dated younger woman than me, my wife is 6 years younger than me.

 

Why do we date woman younger than us, because we can.