Virgin losing virginity

[quietgrl]

Is this "normal" but everytime i hear that a virgin about to lose their virginity.I become sad and lonily.I'm a virgin myself by the way.

[PRSOV]

All I can say is that I respect you a lot more, you have a lot more pride in yourself and holding it for the right guy I must say.

 

May I ask why you have held out for such an extremely long time?

[Batya33]

Yes - it can seem sad if seen as a "loss" - but there are gains - like a different level of intimacy with someone you already love deeply.

 

I assume you feel the same sadness for men as well as women? If not, why?

[rose2summer]

I think virginity is a beautiful entity,

 

And for some, should be saved for marriage,

 

Or at least a very serious relationship,

 

Because of the emotions involved in it,

 

You need some stability in your relationship,

 

Before partaking in it,

 

That being said,

 

I am not one, and I always valued it when I was,

 

But it was taken away from me by force,

 

Not by my own choice,

 

If I could go back, I would still be one,

 

Stick to what YOU feel is right,

 

And then go with that full force!

 

Hugs,

 

Rose

[ElektraHere]

All I can say is that I respect you a lot more, you have a lot more pride in yourself and holding it for the right guy I must say.

 

May I ask why you have held out for such an extremely long time?

 

I am not so sure that a virgin respects herself more than a non virgin? I think there are many people who have had sex that have pride and respect for themselves. There are also virgins who dont have pride and respect for themselves with other parts of their lives.

 

I am not advocating promiscuity but come on that is a bunch of hooey that just because someone is a virgin makes them so much better than others.

[southerngirl]

I admire you for holding out for the right person.

 

I too lost mine by force, one week after I turned 14... rape...

[rose2summer]

Hugs, southerngirl,

 

It's frustrating to lose your virginity by rape,

 

But I see it so often, it's saddening,

 

I really wish I could have chosen who I gave my virginity to,

 

But I was raped as well, by a man over 2x my age,

 

The past is the past, and I must keep moving forward,

 

I am interested, southerngirl, does it make you look at sex differently,

 

Since your first was by rape?

[FoxLocke]

Don't feel bad. I am a virgin too(been kissed a few times, but that's it). I think it is good that you are holding out for Mr. Right.

 

Don't feel bad. You are not the only person who hasn't been intimate yet.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Elektra, that tirade was a bit insulting. Many people who choose to remain virgins until they meet the right man, or until marriage, respect themselves and their bodies. Yes, many people who aren't virgins do to, but please don't devalue someone's choice to remain a virgin and get defensive about not being a virgin. Because society seems to place a huge emphasis on sex, anybody who chooses to remain a virgin until the right one comes along are sometimes treated as a freak and subjected to harsh criticism like your post. It is an amazing thing that someone chooses to be their own person and not conform to what is deemed "normal" by society just to fit in.

[ElektraHere]

Hey Crazy,

 

If you have EVER read my past post I do not promote sex nor do I promote promiscuity. I think you can't put a crown on someone who may or may not be a virgin. I was a virgin until I was 20 so hun I know what it is like to hold on to it.

 

If you want to stay a virgin hey more power to you, but before you a attack me read what I have ever wrote. I never said I was better nor anyone who has had sex is better.

 

Come on get real!

 

 

Elektra, that tirade was a bit insulting. Many people who choose to remain virgins until they meet the right man, or until marriage, respect themselves and their bodies. Yes, many people who aren't virgins do to, but please don't devalue someone's choice to remain a virgin and get defensive about not being a virgin. Because society seems to place a huge emphasis on sex, anybody who chooses to remain a virgin until the right one comes along are sometimes treated as a freak and subjected to harsh criticism like your post. It is an amazing thing that someone chooses to be their own person and not conform to what is deemed "normal" by society just to fit in.

[nottoogreen]

Hi quietgrl,

 

I think it is because you associate the event with being loved and happy and that makes you lonely and sad.

 

I wish you the happiness which you may find once you go out there and find yourself a loving and respecting and caring partner. It ain't easy, but it can be for you too, once you do it.

[Sheyda]

Elektra, that tirade was a bit insulting. Many people who choose to remain virgins until they meet the right man, or until marriage, respect themselves and their bodies. Yes, many people who aren't virgins do to, but please don't devalue someone's choice to remain a virgin and get defensive about not being a virgin. Because society seems to place a huge emphasis on sex, anybody who chooses to remain a virgin until the right one comes along are sometimes treated as a freak and subjected to harsh criticism like your post. It is an amazing thing that someone chooses to be their own person and not conform to what is deemed "normal" by society just to fit in.

 

I didn't find Elektra's post insulting and I am a virgin who has waited for the right man to come along. All I saw was her saying that there are virgins who don't respect themselves and non-virgins who do, i.e. virginity has nothing to do with somebody's value as a human being and whether a person respects themselves or not. She was not, in any way, calling all virgins "freaks" or saying that they are abnormal.

[ElektraHere]

Thank you Sheyda!! That is exactly what I was conveying..

 

I didn't find Elektra's post insulting and I am a virgin who has waited for the right man to come along. All I saw was her saying that there are virgins who don't respect themselves and non-virgins who do, i.e. virginity has nothing to do with somebody's value as a human being and whether a person respects themselves or not. She was not, in any way, calling all virgins "freaks" or saying that they are abnormal.

[quietgrl]

I have so many reason why i get sad and lonily over hearing virgin losing thier virginity stories.It's sad when i hear virgins having sex before they are ready.I feel like i'm the only virgin waiting for the "right" man.I'm also feeling lonily because i'm not having luck in the dating scene.I'm not a big man fan right now.I'm just tired

[melrich]

i.e. virginity has nothing to do with somebody's value as a human being and whether a person respects themselves or not.

 

That is perfect Sheyda.

 

Quietgrl, don't define yourself as a person by whether you are a virgin or not.

 

On the list of things that make up Quietgrl that would be about number 769 in order of importance.

[nottoogreen]

I have so many reason why i get sad and lonily over hearing virgin losing thier virginity stories.It's sad when i hear virgins having sex before they are ready.I feel like i'm the only virgin waiting for the "right" man.I'm also feeling lonily because i'm not having luck in the dating scene.I'm not a big man fan right now.I'm just tired

That sounds like you are too rigid. You desire/expect but you do not act. That makes depressed.

 

When someone else is ready is hard to judge.

 

You say you are waiting. Are you waiting?

 

You can't count on luck.

 

You really got 3 ways to be happy:

• You could accept being single forever
  
• You could find a man
  
• You could find a woman
  

The choice is yours. The rewards too.

[quietgrl]

nottoogreen,

 

I've had my heart bruised by 2 men and I keep meeting the same men.Men with issue who want sex.That's why i'm going on a man fast because I'm alway chasing men.It's time a man chase my butt.I never had a man pursue me.

I see some virgins just give up and it makes me feel like the last virgin standing.

I'm just tired of men right now and i don't understand why no man hasn't pursued me ever.

[nottoogreen]

Men with issues who want sex - could you please elaborate about their issues.

 

Men want sex, women want sex, it's natural.

 

About you chasing men, would you have a profile of those you chase?

 

You feel no man ever was interested you?

 

Do you feel attractive?

[quietgrl]

nottoogreen,

I think i'm attractive but i keep meeting the same men.I meet men who have ex wives and ex girlfriend issue.I do something and the guy thinks i'm his ex wife/girlfriend.

Well i got a seriuos reality check just a mintue ago.I check my email and a male friend i really like is starting to ask women out again.Another man blow in my life.What a big surprise.I am so tired of men not seeing a good woman like me in front of them.That 's why i'm starting to hate men and just stay by myself.

The only time a man wants me is to have causel sex not to establish an relationship.

 

The last american virgin

[ElektraHere]

nottoogreen,

I think i'm attractive but i keep meeting the same men.I meet men who have ex wives and ex girlfriend issue.I do something and the guy thinks i'm his ex wife/girlfriend.

Well i got a seriuos reality check just a mintue ago.I check my email and a male friend i really like is starting to ask women out again.Another man blow what a big surprise.I am so tired of men not seeing a good woman like me in front of them.That 's why i'm starting to hate men and just stay by myself.

The only time a man wants me is to have causel sex not to establish an relationship.

 

The last american virgin

 

I have to say dont you think that your attitude is coming out and men can see that? What you put out is what you get back. No I am not talking about "putting out" I mean if you are putting out the vibe that men only want casual sex or you have this preconcieved notion "ALL" men are the same...what do you expect to get back?

[nottoogreen]

We have a 47 year old male virgin here. Perhaps he is the last male virgin in the US too. PM me if you want his handle.

 

You can't expect men not to have relationships by the 30s or 40s.

 

You are bitter and I do not want to give you a hard time but you are your limiting factor. There are many men, they are not perfect, nobody is perfect. When will you compromise?

 

I think mature men are not interested in casual sex as it is not very enjoyable. I loving respectful and caring relationship including sex is what nature evolved us for.

 

You could stay by yourself, but I am fearful you do not accept staying by yourself.

[quietgrl]

nottoogreen,

 

I'm trying not to cry but i knew this moment would come.I knew my male friend would tell me.He was getting back into the dating scene .He stop dating after divorcing his ex-wife.

nottoogreen I give men sooo many chances but no man gives me a chance.The male friend that i want doesn't want me because he doesn't think opposite attract .He doesn't realize we are so much alike.I'm starting to hate men.

I don't want to be alone. I want to go on my first date and have my first boyfriend at 36 but i can't handle another man blow right now.I'm tired of putting myself out there and men just want casual sex from me and not a relationship.I'm just tired.

[nottoogreen]

I am sorry quietgrl, I really am.

 

Hating men makes you put off men.

 

Firstly you have to like yourself regardless. Then look at men as a whole.

 

Have you considered counseling to resolve your issues?

[quietgrl]

nottoogreen,

 

The only issue i have is befriend men with ex-wives/girlfriend issue.I know i'm attractive and can be a very good girlfriend but i can't fight a man's baggage.

Do you know i'm playing Dr Phil to these men?

[ElektraHere]

Have you listened to any of the women who have responded to your posts? You have this issue with being a virgin and then you are crying over a man who just wants your friendship. You want a man but you are wrapped up mentally with this guy.

Plus you have to get the thing about men only wanting casual sex from you out of your head. Do you really have a problem with yourself being a virgin.

Another question where are you meeting men at???