gradle Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Hi there everyone, It's me again, gradle. I was just wondering if I could get your opinion on some relationship matters…. I met this great guy about a month ago, we met at a party, and he seems great, really smart, sweet, a successful lawyer. He talked to me all night at the party, and some mutual friends gave him my number, he actually asked them if he had a chance with me, we went out on a date a few days later, it was great…. After the date, he called me every day for the rest of the week, then I went on vacation for a week and didn't see him, but he did call to check up on me. When I came back we set up another date, and again, we had a great time. I told him he could stay the night (not meaning having sex, just cuddling, etc, especially b/c he'd have to take a cab home), but he declined. Said we could spend the night on a weekend, because I have to wake up at 530 and he doesn't have to wake up till hours later. He called me the next night just to say sweet dreams… He's really busy, but during the dates he always talks about stuff that we have to do together…he's like, well we're going to have to go to this restaurant or this place…he said he wanted me to help him pick out a puppy…I've really enjoyed that time, at first I freaked out a bit, b/c he kept holding my hand and putting his arms around me and I felt like it was too soon… but then I realized this is what really sweet guys do…they're more open with their feelings… But since then, (it's been about a week since our date) he has continued calling me, but I haven't been able to see him. He had a sister come into town this weekend, but he had mentioned to me on the first date that he wanted me to meet her, but he didn't invite me to do it when she got here. And during his calls, they always end funny, like he doesn't mention when we're going to see each other next, he's just like, I'll talk to you …..later…. I'm fine, I don't react and I stay super busy as it is anyways and even am going on a date with someone else tomorrow, but I'd much rather be with this first guy…. I know he's busy, I'm just trying to gauge if he's interested or not….i guess i'm just a bit disappointed Link to comment
Goodfun88 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Well as I see it you have two options. Either call the guy and make plans with him, or wait till he makes plans with you. He could be feeling the same way you are wondering why doesn't she ever suggest that we see each other again. Why don't you suggest dinner or a movies, or some other date type idea and present it to him. He's calling you, so he must be somewhat into you. If he doesn't accept your date you know where you stand. Or like I said you could just wait it out and wait for him to make the move. But I think you said you've been on 2 dates, I don't think its totally out of the question for you to suggest plans to him. Good luck. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 yeah, he seems pretty interested! just see where things go, don't get too freaked out. and yes, you also have the option of asking him out once in a while! Link to comment
Jayar Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I wouldn't ask him out. If he wanted to invite you to see his sister, he would have. I mean come on, it would have been silly for him to expect YOU to invite yourself to meet his sister, right? I think in this case you have set yourself up very well with a guy who is extremely interested in having a relationship with you. In my opinion, part of that is because you're busy and you haven't really pressured him. I think if you invite him for a date you're going to ruin things. There's time for that when he's already asked to meet up with you 2 or 3 times a week for MONTHS, has told you he loves you, and cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with you. Obviously now celebrations are different (i.e. birthday) but I honestly wouldn't start putting MORE effort into the relationship. Experience teaches us that either pushes them away, or they end up dating us then break our heart in the end anyway. He's convinced he likes you and you're fun to be with. Let him keep calling you he's not shy! I wouldn't answer the phone every time, and I wouldn't tell him what you're up to when you cannot meet him. Just counter that with being very sweet and nice to him when you're with him. He'll know you're interested. He's the male, he pursues. Also, don't invite a guy to spend the night if you don't intend to have sex with him. Either you have to specifically SAY then that you don't want to have sex, and that makes you look silly if he wasn't planning to anyway... Or you look like a tease. Try to end the date first. Link to comment
NJRon Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Things look like they are going pretty well from what you say. He sounds a bit too busy to get a puppy, I hope he changes his mind. Aside form that though, just make sure he knows that you have a good time with him and that should be good enough. Link to comment
gradle Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 awwww! thanks guys! i hope he's interested, he's a really great guy. i guess he had his heart broken about 2 years ago with someone that he was with for 2 years, and hasn't dated anyone since **possibly b/c he's so busy? . and the same thing happened to me about a year ago....and it is hard to trust/keep your own life sometimes for those of us that were really devoted to someone else who didn't give the equivalent... if we get together again this week i'm debating on inviting him to go camping wiht me and my friends, there's about 20 of us going so it's not like it would be something serious, just laid back and fun. not all of us know each other so hopefully if he were to come he wouldn't stand out too much. anyways, he's probably too busy to come. i guess i just freaked out b/c my friend started datin g somoene, and she'd see him once every few weeks, but this guy would make plans with her, like claim they should go to europe or something and she'd be all excited and then he wouldn't call her for a week or 2. i think part of it is that she would hook up wiht him though. and i don't? even though i won't lie, i really want to, it's just not time yet.... is it too early to ask him to go camping? bad idea? Link to comment
NJRon Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I don't think it's ever too early. It is with a group of people. The worst he can say is no. I don't think I would be scared off if someone invited me to a group thing. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 I don't know about that.... that is very 1950s! I think in this day and age, there is nothing wrong with asking out a guy. I'm not saying bombard him with phone calls or anything or constantly invite him out, but if you two are in the beginning stages of dating, I don't see anything wrong with asking him to go check out some new movie with you, or go to the bon jovi concert with you. It's not like you're asking him to marry you! I think more of the important thing is that if you ask him out, you're not really so much as "pushing for a relationship" as you are just wanting to hang out and see the martini bar. If you get what I'm saying.... It is the year 2006, women shouldn't have to pretend to be meek little mice in order to snag a husband. I know lots of men that like a woman who is open and confident enough to ask a guy for a drink. Link to comment
gradle Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 arrrghhh! i'm getting frustrated! still no phone call from him. i'm debating on texting him and asking if he wants to come camping this weekedn, but i hate hate hate feelign like i'm bugging someone. i don't understand what could have happened to change his mind? i know it's only been two days since the last phone call. but a text? or a quick call? neither of those are hard to do. am i being unreasonable? Link to comment
gradle Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 i'm an idiot he just called. i didn't pick up, i'll call him soon Link to comment
Lansing Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Did you not pick up on purpose?? if that is the case, don't play games... If you missed his call, call him back if he left a message.... I have this situation where I almost wrote off a girl totally because I thought she was being "flakey" ... I think she just didn't want to appear to be over eager... but, things almost ended before they started because of her "play hard to get" type thing she thought she should do.... Link to comment
gradle Posted July 20, 2006 Author Share Posted July 20, 2006 whoa.... wait a sec.... i don't think it's a bad idea to wait an hour to call him back...why rush to pick up the phone every time he calls? why appear overeager? and i'm also the one inviting him camping...he obviously knows i'm interested and not hiding my feelings, but why do i have to show him that i was in a hurry for him to call me back? plus, it never hurts to hear the message they leave so you can prepare for the conversation. perhaps his message was going to tell me he was away for the weekedn. then i'd save myself the trouble of asking him to go camping. Link to comment
NJRon Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Anyone who sits there, bemoaning the fact that someone isn't calling, and then doesn't answer it when they do is playing games. Playing games has a greater chance of backfiring than succeeding. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now