Letters to our ex's

[NCTuskie]

Dear ex,

 

If you really want to be friends, show up at my door in your Class A's with flowers. Then we can talk.

 

Me.

[Duchess1]

My Goodbye Letter to the most afraid man on the planet Earth after his Divorce and is afraid to get "burned again" by anyone, so pushes me "Angel/Babe" away... for good this time.

 

 

 

I've been thinking a lot about your words lately and I have come to realize that my behavior has been immature concerning what you have been trying to say to me and what you are going through in your life right now.

 

I guess I just wasn't thinking about what a confusing time it still is for you.

 

All I was thinking was, Wow, I have met the most down-to-earth guy, a friend and amazing lover…….who puts me on the ceiling. Whom I could hardly wait to hug and just hangout with.

Remember when we used to just sit and talk and talk …till the birds came out.

That is what I miss.

Your refreshing logic and way of thinking was the biggest aphrodisiac for me.

I love how smart you are.

Not to mention how you used to pull me accross the bed towards you and have your way with me ….. That always sent me straight to the moon.

 

So, you see, I really thought we had something special between us……...

I'm only more than a bit embarrassed to say that it's taken me this long to clue into the fact that you do not have the same feelings.

Cuz, if you truly did, we wouldn't be having this Mexican Stand-off and you wouldn't be with someone else . . . . . I'm afraid I can't deal with that.

 

You never let me in………and always kept me at arms length.

But, what's confusing me is that my stupid heart is telling me that you did have feelings for me.

That's why it's been so hard for me, because my heart is such a dumb dumb.

But, it's also a very true heart ……

So, I thought it was time that I finally "broke" the news that your heart just didn't feel the same way and that it said, "I don't love you".

 

I had the most wonderful time with you but, I don't want to cry and be an emotional wreck anymore.

 

So, be good to yourself.

 

Have a super fun (and safe) time with the kids this summer.

 

I love you, always ....

[gaiden]

Meh, hey you.

 

I think the guy you ditched me for really wants you to come back home to him or at the very least call him back. He claims you took off with all his weed and pills and he's pretty pissed. It's only been a month girl, and you've already burned his bridge too? Come on now!

[tictactoe2006]

Your leaving was the best thing that could have happenned to me. Even though you devastated me financially thanks to our liberal New England state's bias against fathers, I am now learning a lot more about myself and what I want out of life, and I will make sure that our child grows up to be nothing like you.

 

Just because the family court system in our state rewards people for lying, cheating amd stealing, does not mean that you 'won' anything. I hope that you are happy now with your alcoholic co-workers. Once everyone there who wants to %^(%& you gets to, you will be just another used up piece of human garbage, whilst I will be happy.

[lilac_indi]

hey F

 

i have now realised (and about bloody time too!) that i am totally better off without you. i have had a very lucky escape. ive escaped from your lies and your betrayal. i feel sorry for your current gf. karma has a strange way of coming back to you and believe me hunny your time will come - karma will bite you on the * * * and i will be there to witness it.

 

good riddance

 

the lass who has finally seen the light

[Silentlyfor]

Dear Whoever you are(I don't think I know or care anymore),

 

Ya know what. I know why you broke up with me. It's so simple. I was too much for you!!

 

I was way too sexy. I was far to intelligent(and my noetic prowess shows), I was SOOO much better than you in bed(which really sucked for me), and let's face it, my strong, robust, 'in your face' personality frightened you away. I was too strong for you. I was too bright for you. I was even too sexy and too hot for you. Damn. I was EVEN TOO SANE FOR YOU!!

 

We we're meant to part ways and never see each other again. I was right. I did make the right choice to excise you from my life and never become your friend. I have a future with somebody I can trust and respect, neither of which by the way you earned from me. I'm sorry, but I'm... well just high.. HIGH above you. I'm brave, smart, attractive, creative and driven. You are not.

 

Thank you. You did me the biggest favor any man could want.

[lioness726]

Dear YOU,

 

I was doing so well. Then you HAD to take me out for my birthday. I gave in too. You knew I would. Well, I hope it didn't help you to get over me. I hope it tortured you even further. Maybe it was a quick fix for what you're going through, and that feeling of depression and hurt will come creeping back to you. You always did do things slowly and felt things last.

 

I had a really good time. I did. I know you did too and I know a lot of the time you had to remind yourself that we weren't together anymore. I think it was hard for you to. But I also think you're trying to have your cake and eat it too. That's not going to happen.

 

I still love you. Before I thought I didn't anymore. Because of all the sh*t we were going through while we were together, and everything leading up to the break up... I really started to question if I really was still in love with you. But after hanging out with you, I realized that I do still love you. I was just hurting soo bad while I was with you that it was hard to see past it. And now that we've broken up, it has been soo much easier for me to let that hurt go. When I was with you, there were a couple times where I felt it again. I hated it! Once when you befriended that girl at the bar while I was in the bathroom, when I came back and met her, I felt that horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. That panicky, jealous feeling. But I just calmed myself and convinced myself to let it go.

 

I knew you weren't really trying to hit on her. And I didn't really think she was interested in you. Besides, she looked like she was MUCH older than you. So all that rationale helped me calm down. Plus, I just pushed it out of my mind and reminded myself that I'M attractive, I'M desirable, and I'M funny. I don't need you anymore to make me feel that way. I don't need you anymore for my confidence. I've discovered that I actually am a lot more confident now, without you.

 

But I do still miss you. I miss lying next to you. I miss you being there. I miss experiencing new things with you. I miss your sense of humor, your eyes, your face, your hands, the way you carried yourself, and I miss how I just kept growing and learning from and with you...

 

I'm not angry anymore. You say that you haven't given up on an "us" in the future. You say that you can see yourself settling down with me. That you can't imagine your life without me in it... I feel the same right now but I don't really know if it will happen. You put me through soo much that the logical thing would be to let you go and for me to find someone else. That there is just soo much baggage there. I know I'm not going to wait around for you and the chances that I will find someone new are fairly high. You know me. I always have a boyfriend.

 

But my family hates you because of the things you have done. My friends think you're bad news. And do you think they're opinion is really going to change? They weren't the ones that were in love with you. So they're less likely to forgive. I mean, the heart wants, what the heart wants. And there is NO logic when it comes to love and emotions so maybe I would be able to forgive you sometime down the line...

 

But one of my girlfriends asked me if I would take you back. I said, "Not right now. Not like this." And I'm sure you know that just as well as I do. Which is why you told me that you haven't 100% given up on us. I think you also say that because you know how good I was to you. You know how much I loved you. You know you could have had it all, had you not messed up. You blame our past. When we were teenagers. But really, you could have proved to me that you weren't that same dumb teenager you were then. But you didn't. You proved that you matured only a little, but you still had your issues. I'm glad you're working on them, by the way. I just hope you don't jump back on the dating wagon...

 

But really, I know seeing you has set me back. I'm pretty sure it has set you back too. I just have to pick myself up again and keep moving on like I was. I'm not too bad off. Just a little sad. When I was with you I had to keep reminding myself why I can't be with you. Why I have to be strong and know when to say, "Enough is enough." And that's what I did when I broke up with you. I had enough. I had enough of the fighting. Enough of the jealousy. Enough of your selfishness. Enough of the resentment. Enough of all that was sour between us. It wasn't pride that made me let you go. It was the fact that I had no pride left. I couldn't find the strength in me to fight for us and to push away the anger, resentment, and jealousy and tell you that I loved you and I wanted to be with you. I couldn't because I had a hard time believing it myself. It's one thing to be heartbroken WHILE in the relationship. And that's what happened.

 

So I'm sorry if I don't return your sentiments about a future for us. I have me to look after. And I've been down that road with you before and you showed me where it ended. It would take you moving not only that ROAD, but the MAP the road is on for me to think about the possibility of a future.

 

But until the next letter...

 

Signed,

Someone you KNOW you still love.

[GreatGuy]

I get the slight feeling that while writing these personal letters for ourselves might be good in the short time, one must be careful not to live in hope they'd come back or fear. The reality will be obvious at one time or another, and while writing can help us express deep feelings, reinforcing and celebrating US will help in the longer run.

 

I have ready others letters, and the feeling that jumps out is that there are still pain, anger, loneliness, almost a sense of being the victim. While this doesn't apply to all, i just wanted to share something with you:

 

The people we loved, came into our lives for a reason(if they're meant to come back later, that so be it), but the gift they've offered us is huge and we can CHOOSE to ACCEPT it...or continue on our path. I for one see that I have grown in ways that wouldn't have happened should the break up hadn't taken place. I am so greatful for that, i hurt at times, but i have STOPPED A TREND. That is to not put the entire focus on them...rather on myself. When i read these letters, they seem to be focussing on the other person, and how they did this or that to us. This is a time FOR US NOW. What I would rather read more is things about How WE feel now, how Empowering this has been and how WE WILL SURVIVE THIS, just as we WILL SURVIVE THE NEXT BREAKUP. This is life, so LIVE!!

 

ps: Trying to pick ya'll up. Hang in there!

[Silentlyfor]

Dear Whatever you are,

 

OVer you.

[moonunit]

Ok heres another one heh.

 

Hey ex

 

man i'm feeling great. sure i think of you occasionally but it's nothing like before. funny thing about keeping mutual friends, they told me some interesting observations like how i seemed full of life and you though nice enough were always one dimensional. they never got us though thought we were a beautiful couple.

 

i also heard that everything you thought would happen with our breakup - women would flock to you, you'd gain riches beyond your imagination, your star would shine even brighter...hasn't, infact i've heard it's been quite the opposite and i kind of get a guilty pleasure in knowing this because in the past year my star HAS shined bright took a moment but now more than ever the brillance is blinding.

 

i get a feeling that you will try to contact me eventually. you've glanced at my myspace page a few times, i wont lie...i've glanced at yours too. and funny, you're not as attractive as i once thought you were. i look at you and i am starting to feel slightly sorry for you.

 

your constant criticism of me, your blaming me for you cheating on me and because i freaked we couldn't get back together, your calling me chubby, wrecked my self esteem and i never had a problem with it before! i realize now because of clarity and the help of my friends and believe it or not...YOURS - there's something wrong with you. and im sorry you don't see it yet. no wonder you've never had a ltr until me. no wonder you always referred to ALL of your exgirlfriends as crazy. dear ex...it's not them i realized...it's you.

 

your sense of entitlement and your treatment of others and your ego will be your downfall. i didnt see it before - too in love - but i see it now so clearly it's funny.

 

i know you'll eventually contact me...or we'll run into each other. this town although BIG is actually kind of small and i refuse to run and hide from the thought of accidently running into you. do me a favor if you see me...keep walking. i know you won't but...at least i said it.

 

thank you for releasing me.

 

unfortunately there will always be a piece of me that loves you (which i think can be dangerous) but the complete total love has completely faded. hell i'm not even mad at you anymore. i just shrug and say 'karma man...karma'.

 

apparently you're beginning to feel the effect. treat people like sht and guess what...you are sht.

 

me.

[lilac_indi]

dear...um...er....dear.....

 

haha

[now_better]

i wrote two letters i'd like to share. one as a follow up response to another...

 

i've written a lot of letters to you in the past few months. you'll never see them. i think when we broke, it was for the best. it's a good chance to reflect on our time together and the future we would have had. i'm not going to share what i wrote because it'll just make you cry and you know i always want to see you happy and laughing. that's how i'll always remember you... my little girl. thanks for breaking up with me and giving me the energy and confidence that i wasn't sure i had. life is beautiful, don't forget to enjoy it. thanks for everything.

 

...

 

i told you i didn't want to share my previous letters with you. let's take a look at how things ended. at some point over the last couple of years, i lost my self-respect. i became worthless. i've had a chance to look at my actions. i'm not worthless. i'm a good person, one of the best people you will meet in your life without a doubt. a heart of gold, a giving spirit, an undying will. you took me for granted, you treated me like i wasn't a real person without real feelings. that's the kind of person you are. i ask myself, why do i want someone like that in my life? and the answer is simple... i don't. you made your choices in life and i've made my choices, hopefully our decisions take us down the right paths.when you feel like talking to me, i recommend you go read the last letter i wrote in that journal i bought you. when you grow up, when you become a better person, when you think you deserve someone like me in your life, then you give me a call. but not now, not anytime soon. if you feel like you redeemed yourself in a few years, you can try again then.

[beebee]

is it just that you cant handle the responsibility of screwing up my life that makes you hold back saying that you regret what you did to me?... i dont get it!... i dont want to hate you... i just want to feel nothing for you... i want to be so indifferent to you and your life and not care... who?... did you say dave?... who is dave?... o yeah... him... thats the one i loved and trusted for 4 years and gave everything i worked my * * * * * off my whole life for... o yeah... the dreamer... the "your everything ive ever wanted in a women"... the "your my needle in a haystack"... the "your so beautiful... what are you doing with me?"... the "i called your husband to get you to move out of the house" man... bas$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!... selfish to the max!... and now what?... now what?... do you fall for everyone your with?... i mean what gives?...

its been 2 years and i still cant get you out of my mind... i pray and pray every day that this will eventually go away and im scared to death it wont... i cant live like this anymore... its destroying me and my life... i have to move on but i dont know how... therapy didnt work, pills dont work, working 7 days a week doesnt work... i dont know... sigh... i trusted you with my life!... i trusted you because you made me!!!!!!!!!!!... no warning, no nothing... just like that huh?...

im just rambling... welcome to my mind... crazy isnt it?...

[Roxari]

Dear You,

 

The last thing I wanted to see when I checked my mail yesterday was a letter from you. An actual handwritten letter, which is something you claim you never do. Ughhhh....I'm happy that you made it safely and I'm sorry it is a zillion degrees. You miss me????? * * * is that about???? Oh and you want me to write you back? Seriously?

 

The worst part of it all is that you are doing the exact same thing to her (your ex before me). My one up on this though is that I know what you are doing and just ignore your attempts to contact me.

 

Please just stay safe and come home for your family. Other than that I really don't have much else to say to you. Unless you can return the broken heart you still hold, or give me back the last year and a half of my life and remove yourself from every memory of it. Can you return my trust in tact instead of shattered and reeling from such deceit? NO? You can't do those things? Well, then you really aren't too much use to me are you?

 

Please go away. Game over.

 

Melanie

[Victory]

To the most selfish person I know:

 

Although I am still sad that things had to end this way, in a way I'm glad because now I can finally see how you've been simply using me this entire time. It's a sad waste of potential to see how you've changed from one of the kindest, loving people I know into one of the most selfish, ignorant, and cruel people I know. I can't believe I let you take control of my life like that and I hope that one day you'll wake up and realize that the reason you're all alone and have NO FRIENDS is because of the person you've changed into. I was one of the last people to stick around, and I loved you the most, and now you've decided your life will be better without me. While you may tell yourself that, I know it's not true and I know that either way, *my* life is better without you.

 

It's been real, it's been fun, but not real fun.

[LONESOUL]

D,

D*mn. This hurt you know? In fact allot of what happened hurt. I don't know if you are ever going to find whatever it is that is missing in your life. I don't know if you are ever going to be happy. People say you won't because you won't deal with your baggage. That part is true, you won't deal with it, and you should. I want to get to the point where I can hope you are happy..right

now I am too hurt. I have a feeling all of this is coming back around to bite you in the a**, but when it does, I won't be around to see it. I'm glad

because by then I would just feel sorry for you.

Thanks for being so much fun though, every once in a while when life was going well. I don't think I have ever had so much fun with anyone~and I

know I have never had so much pain. You are really confused. I got really

confused when I was with you. I lost me. I finally had to say NO MORE.

Maybe you are starting to figure out this time, I really meant it. Messgae

is the same as the day I left, you need help and you should get it.

[desertnomad]

I know it must be hard for you considering this but we are both scared of the same thing and I know that and you know that as well.

 

I am not reading what you are saying, I am hearing the meaning behind what you are really saying and what I am hearing is an intelligent woman who is trying to push me away because she is hurt and scared, a girl that wants to be with me but fear is controlling her.

 

I know what we have been and if we are leaving the past as the past than I see no reason for bringing that into the present this isn't about chances, about the could have been or even the should have been this is about understanding and communication.

 

But if you could see past our faults, if you would find your true self the girl that has a heart of gold the one that claimed to look for the good in everything than you would see we are the same person with the same wants and needs.

 

This isn't about moving on, this isn't about giving up because all of those I can do if I thought I was making the right decision than I would and could do that this isn't a pity party this is about understanding.

 

Ask yourself these questions. Do the pros out weigh the cons? Is it worth losing a relationship over, is it worth taking that risk. This doesn't go just for the discussion last night but for anything.

 

In this case it's not my place to either A. make your decisions and/or B. tell you what to and what not to do but on the other hand I should be able to bring up to your attention while we were together things that have the possibility of bothering me its called COMMUNICATION. Now I would think we could talk about these things with out having a world war 3 battle.

 

Don't worry about me I will work on my own faults but for right now lets work on this relationship as a whole, we need to get past the small pictures or the small things and starting seeing the big picture.

 

The pros out weigh the cons by far I would say I mean we do what any other couple would do in stressful situations we take it out on each other and then when things get really ugly and we get frustrated we say things we don't really mean just to hurt the other person because we are hurt ourselves but aside from that its not like its abnormal to have disagreements.

 

I'm sorry about a lot of things but most of all, the one thing I am not sorry about is meeting you, the day you walked into my life was the day that my life changed forever.

 

There we have it we all have boundaries but we all cross those same boundaries now is the best time to move in a forward direction.

 

Love has no boundaries. But if you want me to move on than consider it done if there is one thing I will not sacrifice it is my dignity and that has no price similar to my love for you nothing can take that away.

 

I am comfortable leaving on this note that the reason you want me to move on is because by me moving on means you will be able to get over me easier and if you are comfortable and willing to accept that you are making a poor decision and understand you are going to have live with that than have at it I will not stop you.

 

She moved on....this was sent before I found out she left me for another...Still sucks...dont know if this even had an affect or not she didnt even really respond to much

[Silentlyfor]

Dear Crone,

 

Thanks for the abuse. I really hate you for it. Even if you're part of my group of friends.... I want nothing to do with you. Please just * * * * off.

[Silentlyfor]

Damn you!! Damn you for all the pain you put me through!! Damn you for leaving me!! Damn you for finding somebody else!! Damn you for moving in with him!!! OH gods!!! Why did she leave me!! I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be miserable. Damn you fate! Damn you earth! Damn the world! Make this pain stop. MAKE THIS PAIN STOP!!!

[LONESOUL]

Dear D~

 

Had a rough weekend. But I will not always have rough weekends.

Have a told you lately that you are the most selfish person I know? Oh, no

I haven't. why? because I haven't spoken to you in 28 days and if the Lord

will help me, I won't talk to you for many many more. You have no right to hurt people the way you do. And you have no right to just breeze through life and not be responsible for any of your actions. I hope that oneday I can

think of you, and FEEL NOTHING. I had an okay holiday...thanks.

[Donster]

just wanted to bump this thread up. this is highly therapeutic!

[thelonelydoll]

yeah, there's a similar thread on the ex-boyfriend/girlfriend relationships forum, and some of it's really funny with all the brutal honesty.

 

Dear Mike,

 

How tricky of you to write me from a brand-new email address for your "company" - and I was missing you today. But I am still ignoring you, I am not going to let you know how the cervical test goes on Wednesday, I survived cancer before I ever knew you existed, and if there's a problem, you're the last person I'd turn to. I was thinking about you today, though. I heard that KT Tunstall song you said made you think of me, back in January. I know you want a big fricking pat on the back for your 52 days sober, but I'm not ready to talk to you even though without me you'd have ZERO days sober - how many more times are you going to ask if we can talk? I guess I have to spell it out, you are relentless and can't seem to grasp the fact that I have disappeared from your life.

 

I think if I wanted you back, I could have you - and that's satisfying enough. I will probably feel ready to talk by the time you've got 90 days sober - but I can't say for sure. I could never get back together with you, I have remembered who I am and you are not worthy.

 

gotta run.

 

the woman who saved you

[firefly08]

To You,

 

Since my first real relationship was with you, you will always hold a special place in my heart. I shall always remember our good times together. But now I realize that your treatment of me in the last few months was completely unacceptable. Your actions hurt me horribly, but now I realize just how weak and cowardly you are because of it. Even when you were trying to break up with me, I had to walk you through it because you didn't have the strength. You were just too self-centered, even up until that last day. Everything was about you and your feelings, without a second thought for how I felt. Do you remember those last few months? That was when I got extremely sick and had to go to the doctor almost every week. That was when I got put on new medication almost every week, and my looks and vibrancy and energy went down the drain because of it. You said we lost our connection and that you couldn't "handle" me anymore. In the last month, you stopped calling, stopped acknowledging me in public, stopped caring, but still slept with me. Every time I'd ask, you'd say you were just awfully busy and that it'd pass. And I trusted you and believed you and loved you for staying with me through my hardship when I was most in need. What a fool I was, because all that time you were planning on breaking it off. You even told me that, remember?

 

Because of you, I know that I deserve better in a relationship, with someone who is less superficial and self-centered. I deserve someone who won't run away at the first sign of struggle when it's something nobody saw coming or can't control. After you, I know I'm a stronger person and that I can handle anything that comes my way because I have determination and a willingness to work hard. You? You have neither and cower away at the first sign of pain and struggle. Just because I couldn't be perfect anymore, suddenly I wasn't the perfect match you always told me I was. It is hard getting over you, but it gets easier everyday and I know I don't need you.

[thelonelydoll]

I just finished work and stopped off to buy cigarettes. "Tell em I'm Surfin'" came on over the soundsystem. I had never heard that song before we drove to Newquay a year ago, and you were having problems on that job in Plymouth, and that was sort of the theme song for the start of our relationship - you running away from your responsibilities, with me, the jet set yank with no strings. You couldn't wait to get some strings on me, and I let you. I'm glad you turned me on to rock climbing, but the symbolism of literally getting me into a harness and ropes was never lost on me. Anyway, I'm tired and tired of thinking about you. But of all the songs to hear tonight, I couldn't believe my ears. In a few days it will be exactly a year since that escape to Newquay, and I wish I'd just left it as a little holiday romance. Of course, I didn't realize that your hot pursuit and ultra-quick attachment was part of your illness. Now I know.

[SadOldMan]

Dear Lynn

 

Is it really 5 months since you decided you no longer wanted me? After 13 years together, I felt as though my world had collapsed. But, so much good has come out of this. If you hadn't dumped me, I wouldn't have gone into therapy. I wouldn't have addressed/confronted my issues. I had lost myself in a relationship. I had lost who I really was.

So, even though, after 5 months, I'm still thinking of you each day, it isn't with hatred or too much anger anymore. More a feeling of regret. I hope you find what you're looking for in life. I wish you all the happiness in the world. I really men that. Thank you for giving me myself back.

 

Love Neil x