Victory

Yah, the guy I was seeing and really liked just up and left me for his ex too. It really, really, sucks. I guess it feels better knowing that lots of other people go through this too, though. It's not a fun situation to be in at all I guess all we can do is hold our head high and find someone who's not going to just bail. Good luck to you, hang in there.

Hey, I just wanted you to know that it seems as if we're going through the same thing. Here's my story, if you want to take a peek: The guy I was dating left me for his ex too. I can't stop thinking of them being together on Valentine's Day and stuff, it hurts so much. But you know, I think that in both of our cases they chose what seemed easier over what could have been worth more in the end. Maybe someday they'll figure that little gem out. Anyways I wanted you to know that there are others going through this too, feel free to send me a message if you need to talk.

It just sucks because it seems so easy for some people and yet for me... Like, for her she found someone else as soon as they broke up, and then as soon as she got upset about him, she got to have him back too. It just hurts that for her it seems so easy, like she gets whatever and whomever she wants. I mean, I guess they have their work cut out for them, getting back with your ex isn't the easiest thing in the world, but I still feel like he's getting back with her out of comfort mainly. Oh well...

Hello, I just thought I would share my story quick as I'm a little hurt and annoyed and I just needed to vent to someone. A few weeks ago I started dating this amazing guy, and I thought things were going really well, he acted as though he really liked me and was really into it, even moreso than I was. Long story short, his ex, who was in another, five-month relationship herself, found out about me. Apparently she got really upset, and saw a picture of us together on facebook and started crying about it. She broke up with her boyfriend. He found out, and of course he went from being into me to...really back into her. It hurts that he's willing to just jump back to being with her without really trying to get to know me at all, but that's the way it goes I guess. Of course I don't know the entire story, I'm assuming there are pieces I don't know, but it seems as though she only wanted him back when all of a sudden, she couldn't have him. And of course she took him back and now they're trying to work on it together. I don't know, I just wish I hadn't met him at all now. I feel like if it hadn't happened we might have got a long great, if we had actually gotten a chance to get to know each other! Aaah this whole thing is lame. Knowing my luck somehow this whole post is going to get back to her, too. I'll be laughing about this someday (hopefully), but for now I'm sorry but I just needed to vent.

I don't know what to do. My ex and I are broken up, this has happened numerous times. Each time he breaks up with me, and then time goes by, and he realizes it wasn't what he wanted, and he comes back. But a bunch of things have happened so that it's pretty much unfixeable now. Basically there was a big misunderstanding, and things got out of hand, and set off a chain of events that no one can take back. I want to get back togehter, but I know that there's no way we ever could, now. I know it isn't the right thing to do. But I don't know what to say or how to face him when we meet. I feel like we could be friends, or maybe I should just say goodbye forever. I dont' know. Any thoughts? Or maybe I should just call him and tell I can't meet, and that will be that..?

I hope you feel better...you are not alone. I'm pretty sure my ex left me for someone else too. it feels like a stab in the back and in the heart at the same time. If you want to talk about it, feel free to email me.

I guess that is what part of the month is for, as well...if he spends it actually working on himself, I will fight. If he spends it with her...then quite obviously it was never meant to be. I guess only time will tell.

Here is my sob story, lol: My ex and I broke up the first week of February. I love him so much, and don't want to lose him. Since we live together I did everything I could to win him back, and it almost worked. But he is in major debt, has no job, and basically doesn't know who he is or what he wants. Then I find out there is also another girl involved, a girl who has been friends with him since they were little. She has always liked him, but even during all these years he has never returned her feelings until now. He kissed her three days after we broke up, then said it was a mistake. Now he says he likes her as more than a friend but doesn't know what he wants to do, and that he still wants to be with me too. We have dated for a year and a half, and lived together since last summer. Yesterday was the last day of our lease. I don't understand because all of his friends said he loved me so much, he thought about having a family with me all the time and I was all he ever talked about. He never saw this other girl in a different light until things started to go rocky with us. We went out to talk the night before the lease was up and again yesterday morning. He doesn't know what he wants, but he's pretty sure he can't be with anyone right now until he gets his life in order. He told me he hasn't decided what to do about the other girl yet, but "why are you worrying about her so much, you have lots of things on her". We have agreed to do a month of no contact, then I will call him at the start of March. I told him it was a dangerous situation to hang out with her during this time. He said, "I don't know..." but as soon as we started talking about ME (I've been trying to move on and date a little too) he immediately backtracked to, "Hey be careful! I'll stay away from my dangerous situation if you do too!" I don't know how serious he was. We both kind of agreed that if we did get back together, it would be better the second time around, because now all of this is out in the open. After I lay on the bed while he was packing and he was looking at me strangely. Finally he asked if he could lay next to me and I said yes. I asked him why we couldn't just take things day by day and live in the moment, with no expactations, at the end of the month. He said he would think about it. He mentioned he already has had moments when he wishes I was there, but he also said he feels weird about me right now and that is why he needs a month. We gave each other a long hug at the door and now I won't see him or talk to him for a month. I think this month is actually a good thing, although it will be hard. I need time away from him too!! It pains me to think of what he might do with her during this month, but it is his choice. They do live about 3-4 hours apart, although her spring break is during March... If they do something, and it doesn't pan out, that's a lifetime friendship down the drain, and he knows it. Meanwhile, I am going to go do my own thing, I've already started to casually date someone, and wait. Dating someone else has already made me understand that perhaps it is an easy distraction, but not what he truly wants on the inside. At the end of the month when we meet up I plan to look as gorgeous as I can (he makes it no secret he still finds me drop dead sexy), and then just enjoy his company with no expectations. In a way it will be like meeting him all over again, as we both know we have major improvements to make during this time. I don't want to start going out with him right away, I really just want to try and take the slow path to that destination again. Deep down I think he does love me and wants to be with me, but that is not the easy road right now and I hope during this month he will come to realize that life with me is better than life without me. He has never said there is no chance we will be together ever again. Meeting after a month was also his idea. I guess I would like some advice or opinions on the situation please. Thank you.

Wow. I didn't think I would receive so many responses so fast. Thank you all. I mean, he hasn't gone to her YET, but I feel like it is inevitable at this point. He is breaking up with me to work on himself, which is not a lie (but probably not the complete truth either), but he did kiss her three days after we broke up. Then he said it was a mistake. Now he tells me is not sure what he wants, he doesn''t want to be with anyone at this point, but that he does like her as more than a friend. He said a part of him still wants to be with me as well. I still don't see how he could know her for 12 years and then just start liking her. The general consensus among those who know us is that when things started getting rough between us, curiosity got the better of him and now he wants to test the waters with her, so to speak. Anyways I gave him my letter, we have to meet tomorrow to discuss bills (we shared an apt), and then we are going to NC for a month and discuss afterwards. The do live about four hours apart, so there is not too much they can do in this time. I am going to try and move on. I personally feel eventually he will regret his decision and come back to me, but I also feel that when that happens it will probably be too late. I suppose it is his loss.

Well, I had been dating my ex for a year and half. For the last 12 years his best friend has been a girl. She has always had a thing for him. She has always tried to be with him. And I guess it has finally worked. He is leaving me for her. I cannot even begin to describe the pain I feel right now. I feel so betrayed. I don't even know what to do. She basically stole him away. She hasn't given up for 12 years. I wrote him a letter saying I still feel that we should be together, that if she has to steal him to get him for herself that that is a very selfish thing to do, but that the only thing he can do is follow his heart. Whatever. I don't know what will happen now. All I know is my heart is breaking. Has this happened to anyone else?

I like "Move Along" by All American Rejects, as you can tell by my signature...

Hello, this is my first post on this forum. I have followed the posts here for a while. My ex broke up with me the first week of February, I've been trying to win him back for the last two weeks. But then I realized that when you try and win your ex back right after you break up, it will never happen. All of the emotions and drama are just too fresh for either of you. So finally I have decided to just let it go until my head is clear enough to decide what *I* really want. Not what my ex wants, but what *I* want. Of course we all want them back...now. This week I've just been staying away from him as much as possible (we share an apt till the end of the month), and surprise surprise, I feel a lot better already! I've even started feeling like I don't WANT to see him. Of course I still love him. Of course I still want to spend the rest of my life with him. But right now that is not an option. You don't want your exes to see you right now...when you are sad and confused and hurt. You want them to see you some time from now, after the dust has settled, when you are healed and happy and back to the person they originally fell in love with. If you take this time to really work on yourself, you might find that the need to be with them will turn into a desire, which might turn into a want, which might turn into "it would be nice to have them, but if not it's no skin off my back." So I guess my point is, I think the only HOPE you have to win back your ex is to try and move on. That way you can not lose. If they come back, you win. If they don't, you still win because you have moved on. And maybe, they will want you, but you won't want them! (Which actually happens a lot more than you might think.) Good luck to everyone and I'll keep you posted as to how my personal journey goes.