beebee
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Posts
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beebee's Achievements
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The mp3 that saved me... literally
beebee replied to gaiden's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
thank you... God bless... beebee -
has it been a year don?... wow... life does fly by doesnt it?... i couldnt be happier for someone like you... be well and happy... God bless... beebee
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(Is it better to be alone? concentrate on work/school?) quote from buba yes darling... it is... what else are you going to do?... God bless... beebee "i love you but, you dont rollerblade"...
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buba... i see such a paralell between you and i... its so hard to forget... i dont think there has been a day in 3 1/2 years that i havent thought about him... goofy isnt it?... i wonder many times if im addicted to pain... anyway, after reading your thread, there was one thing that struck me... you are going for your PHD and he is a pothead going nowhere... id bet the "dog, farm and first born" on the premise that he felt inferior to you in many ways... instead of being proud of being with someone like you, he became resentful because he knew he couldnt compare with you... you were way above him in his mind... so thereforeeee, he had to bring you down to his level by hurting you... make sense?... not that it may mean a whole hell of alot at this time because your in such pain... im praying for you still... be well... God bless... beebee "i love you but, you dont rollerblade"...
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I never managed to move on. after reading other people's posts on ENA, I realise that it's abnormal to still grieve like this after two years...people usually move on after a while... dear buba... i too am grieving after 3 years... ive just managed to start accepting that he no longer loves me (crazy isnt it?)... so yes, i do feel foolish also and i understand how you feel... i will be following your progress and i will be hoping and praying for you to heal... God bless... beebee
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sigh... i feel everything you wrote also... i really dont have anything else to say... you know exactly how i feel...
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Oops!! Found out the ex is engaged!!
beebee replied to Orlander's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
i guess i understand... lol... how would you have hurt her if she stayed?... by disappointing her again?... im sorry darling... i remember exactly when my ex said those words to me "i see no future with you"... it took the wind out of my soul... he never spoke to me like that before and yes, you are right, he was angry... incredibly angry even though he admitted to me later that i had done nothing wrong... there were other things he said in anger that i just couldnt and cant get out of my mind... i wonder why?... ive had people say things to me in anger that i just shrug off and say "to hell with you!"... lol... but from him!... it was horrible... o well... onwards and upwards... life moves on... just a little snippet from the past that i wanted explained... thanks darling... God bless... beebee -
Oops!! Found out the ex is engaged!!
beebee replied to Orlander's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
"I did tell her repeatedly early last year that there was no future for us...all the while hoping to draw her back in, but I guess it didn't work out too well." orlander... i respect you very much... ive read your posts many times and i believe you have great insight in matters of the heart... i just have to ask one thing... why oh why did you tell her this?... my ex did the same thing to me saying "i see no future for us"... it broke my heart and pushed me so far away... why would you think that saying something like that would bring her closer to you?... why do people play mind games and say things they dont mean to get a different spin on what they want?... i just dont understand... -
this is a tough question... and intriguing... ive been both dumper and dumpee and as the dumper i felt such relief... a big huge sigh of relief... with that also was the realization that i must have had my head examined for even being in the relationship... like, "what the hell was i thinking?"... lol... as the dumpee, it was painful... really really painful... its hard to move on, etc etc... it does force you to examine yourself closely but it also leaves you with so many unanswered questions... again, maybe it is ego... i only felt betrayal, not ego... are they the same thing?...
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your right lovestragedies... he never did love me... ive understood that for a long time now...
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your amazing buba... truly... youve been through so much and weathered such pain... everyone on enotalone has felt the same thing but in different circumstances... its not pretty to watch or read... it hurts all of us to see you in such turmoil... i too am in pain after 3 years so i can understand... i will say one thing though... please look into having your anti depressants changed... i was fortunate enough to get a doctor that gave me an hour of her time devoted to finding the right medication for my dilemmas... it was cymbalta... at 30 mgs it wasnt working... then the doctor suggested that i "up" the meds to 60 mgs and to STOP DRINKING... one counteracts the other... this i didnt know or look into... it has helped immensely to the point were i actually not only think straight, but feel the consequences of my breakup and to lay the blame where it belongs... please look into it and keep up the therapy sessions... when its all said and done and you get your mind in order and see from an objective view, i think the one thing that we all feel is anger or disgust at ourselves for being foolish in believing in love (or our ex's)... dont fault yourself for trusting in him and hoping he would change... you have lost so much and there is absolutely NO NEED for you to feel foolish or silly for calling... weve all done it at one time or another... some of the crazy things we do when we are in love and in pain... amazing... look at the astronaut and what she did for love... i never went to that extent, but i can surely say i understand her obsession... know im praying for you... beebee
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sorry enotaloners... my quote was wrong... this is the correct quote (i think)... lol "relationships are like sharks... they have to keep moving forward or they will die... what we have here is a dead shark"... woody allen (annie hall)
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i used to think, way back when, that closure was another term for something you couldnt put your finger on... anotherwords, it was bs... i realize now that it isnt... i personally, was left with many questions, but the main question was "why?"... i waited until i thought i would go out of my mind... then i called and asked... the reasons were lame... they were so lame and ridiculous that they were laughable... then i realized that he wanted "out"... period... end of story... the lame excuses were nothing more than that... excuses... he didnt feel the same way about me that he had before... so, there was my answer... i dont understand the dynamics of a relationship... i guess i never did or will... i thought naively that when someone says "i love you", that it means just that... they love you no matter what... i was wrong... beebee "love is like a shark... it has to keep moving forward or it will die... what we have here is a dead shark"... woody allen (annie hall)
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hi my darling jen... what an absolute surprise to see you again!... im so happy life has changed for you and all is going well... as to you donster, what can i say?... you were the charming one?... you were the one with the ego?... yes, i can understand... it seems that my ex was constantly trying to make others love him... he did this with his charm... only thing was, i was there to listen to his comments after the one he was charming left, which were sometimes cruel... im just shaking my head... i need to find a reason for being on this earth... pain permeates me and im so tired of trying to surpress it... all of the requisite pills and therapy cant offer me the one second of happiness that i would love to have... its way too painful to breathe... is it possible that some people are not meant to be happy?... that they set themselves up for pain from others?... im just so tired of trying...
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you have nothing to apologize for... we understand... we make mistakes and thats what makes us human... just start again... you will be fine!... God bless... beebee