Letters to our ex's

[tetur]

SK-

I hate how I can hear your footsteps coming down the hall and before I even see you my heart is racing and I'm feeling flush.

 

I hate that you walk into a room and all of the anger and upset seems to disapate and we so easily fall back into that comfortable way of just being "us".

 

I hate that you still want to take care of me even after I've told you a billion times to stop, that it's no longer your place since you left and decided to be with someone else.

 

I hate that you say you care so much but you want to be with someone else.

 

I hate that I still cry myself to sleep some nights over you.

 

But most of all, I hate that I still love you and still want to be with you.

 

T-

[joed]

Hi SP,

 

how have you been? What have you been up to? How's work?

 

So many firsts since October. The latest one seeing the holidays only 2 weeks away and we're not together. I thought, this afternoon, of how I felt and what I was thinking this time last year when we were finalising the plans for our tandem tour. I remember how many wonderful moments we enjoyed together on that holiday and how much I regret not being open in discussing your desire to start a family after that amazing adventure , I've learned since that then was when I took away the promise of growth in our relationship that day. How sorry I am that even though I can still 'see' you sitting hunched in the bath thinking only that you really know, but I suspect I can guess. How you were torn between the man you'd loved for 17 years and nature's calling. At the same time I'm confused. Confused that someone who said 'if I was going to have babies I'd want your babies' could, 2 months later when I'd discussed & agreed this time, say 'I need space, it doesn't feel right'. I'm upset that you never spoke to your Best friend, the one who wasn't allowed to die in old age before you, but instead schemed to end the relationship with your friend's help while she schemed to end her marriage at the same time.

 

I could talk to you for hours, days, weeks. I want to tell you things I never told you and I wonder why I never told you, I'm still trying to figure that one out.

 

I still love you timelessly, with every atom in my body. I thought, this afternoon, how much I miss just holding you and you holding me. I remembered missing Christmas 'snuggle' season where we'd watch those cheesy movies, curled up together with the cats. I miss the cats. I can still 'feel' that, it makes me smile. I constantly think about 'if I'd said that, instead of this. If I'd done this instead of that'. Then things might be different. I've learned that those thoughts are all normal. I passed the town today and my thoughts turned to you.

 

How I can't believe that 1 year on I feel how I do now, and how I wonder why anyone deserves to feel this way. Despite the pain. This awful torment of emotional purgatory. I'd have you back in the blink of an eye. I'd forgive you instantly but you'd have to talk to me. That's all.

 

I find it so hard to comprehend your belief that 'this should've happened years ago' when I remember, so vividly, the things you said and did, with such apparent sincerity. What do you wish you'd traded those millions of unique moments for? Yet you say you don't regret our 17 years together. 17 years. We have seen, shared, experienced so much together in that time and now I am 'in your past'. You are very much in my now, and for how long I do not know. Eternity?

 

I'm so sorry for making your nose bleed. That horrible morning when you asked me to leave. Well, you didn't ask, and I now wonder if I'd been more level headed and calm if we could've talked then. As I remember the blood dripping from your nose I think how could someone who loves someone so much put them in such a position of stress that their nose bleeds. Yet now I wonder if your own fear and panic for yourself led to that nosebleed. How did we get from being so happy in a heartbeat? Perhaps you needed breathing space to figure things out, you asked for space but I couldn't give you it then. Would it have made any difference? How did you get from blissfully content to 'scared rabbit' in a heartbeat?

 

I could go on and on and on and I will in my mind, as always.

 

I miss your smell.

I miss how your hair shines.

I miss you lying on top of me on the sofa staring into my eyes.

I miss talking to you.

I miss listening to you.

I miss doing the dishes with you.

I miss cooking with you.

I miss shopping with you.

I miss hearing you laugh.

I miss making you laugh.

I miss you making me laugh.

I miss bathing together.

I miss sleeping together.

I miss foot smooches.

I miss snuggling.

I miss watching cheesy movies with you.

I miss looking at photographs with you.

I miss talking to you through the floor while I was working in the cellar.

I miss walking with you.

I miss planning to go and see new places together.

I miss the feel of your lips against mine.

I miss not being able to give you little surprises anymore.

I miss sitting with you in the car.

I miss hearing the rhythm of your breathing at night.

I miss your little snores.

I miss how I could look at you asleep next to me after 17 years together and still melt.

I miss hearing your footsteps echoing up the path.

I miss our beach barbeques.

I miss our picnics.

I miss sitting outside drinking tea and playing with the cats.

I miss seeing your face light up as you came through the door.

I miss feeling my face light up as you came through the door.

I miss every single thing we were/did/had together.

I miss you so much.

 

I'd stopped crying so often until now and I hope so hard, everyday, that you'll come back. I still believe you will. I haven't worked out why I have this cross to bare, why I've gone from so blissfully happy to this. I still want you to be happy, though it breaks my heart that I don't make you happy now, or rather you won't let me make you happy now.

 

We were going to be looking forward to washing elephants in Thailand or Sri Lanka. I wonder if you honestly feel your life is better now than that. Is it really worth it?

 

Your 'gut feeling' is what drives your decision. I've learned that any psychologist will tell you never to base a relationship decision on a gut feeling. I've learned that no relationship is better than the one you are in, unless abusive. Thanks Al Turtle! Yet I know you see things in a different sense. You don't have the desire to seek answers. Perhaps that's the 'dumper's way'.

 

Bye SP,

 

luv, hugs n kisses

 

love u, miss u

 

xxxxx.

[eatingsnow]

ed.

thank you for the last 8 years. i will miss you, but i don't want to have anything do with you anymore. being with you have cost me too much.. i can never go back to being 25 again.

i wish i can just forget what happened, that means forget the good times and the bad times. but if is the choice, i rather just forget everything, so i can be a happy person.

I HATE YOU.

sharon

[viber]

Copy paste from my diary:

 

Dear ex:

i'm not mad at you i'm glad i met such an amazing person as u are, and im glad God brought you into my life and made so much impact. u helped me become a better person and i know that you're gonna make your future wife as happy as u made me.i hope my husband will be the same. I will always love my first love.Thanks for everything, the joy the laughter and hell even the tears and mood swings I hope i will be able to send this message, one day. and i hope that one day, when everything is ouut of the way that we can still be friends. More than 1 year I'm glad i even experienced this feeling. Again, thank you.

i know i'll be fine, as i always will. i've been through this once before but i know i will survive and have a bright future. this is just a bump in a road and i know my friends will be here to support me.

[jojo415x]

Found this old thread, and I need to post this letter somewhere before it ends up in a mailbox...

 

My Dearest,

 

I owe you an amends for the last three months of my behavior that led to our relationship ending. I never once stopped being in love with you...I love and care about you very much. There is so much I want to do and say but I don't know what is appropriate..to give you space, to tell you how I feel...so I'm just going to write this letter and be honest with you. In the months that led to our break up, I felt extremely shameful at where I was in my life. I was overwhelmed and my pride was hurt and I was afraid that you would reject me and I didn't know how to reach out. It was unfair of me to isolate and indulge my own self doubts when I could have pursued the skills needed to reach out to you as my partner. It was a time when I really needed compassion the most and wanted so much to show up for you in your life, but I felt so inept. I see that the reason we are broken up now is because unlike the good times, during the bad times, I really had difficulty opening up and trusting being vulnerable to you, perhaps because I respected you so much and had temporarily lost respect for myself. The experience that we had together was very real and important to me. I had not anticipated that I would react so poorly to such a challenge as being out of work and I am ashamed that my fear of being rejected precipitated a gap between us, at a time when we needed more communication, and I needed to be more aware of how every thing was affecting you. It is really hard for me to write this to you, but I see that because of my behavior you went neglected and were led by me to believe based on my actions that you were not appreciated. The experience of the last few months have been deeply humbling. I am sorry for putting you through so much pain on account of my own shame. I am willing to do whatever it takes to amend this.

I know that I deeply hurt you. I never expected to be that guy that put himself in a position to prove himself good...since the pursuit itself implies evidence otherwise. Yet having seen myself fail us because of my own inability to be vulnerable, how externally distant and defensive I was...I see now that embracing responsibility and being open with you is a respect toward you and myself long past due.

 

Since we separated, I've been able to get things back in order with work and stability...but I am powerless at the chaos I have created between us and you missing in my life (especially due to my behavior) makes me extremely sad because you are irreplaceable to me. If there is good I can take from all this it's that I have faith in experience and I am working on opening up about the way that I am feeling and staying in a solution. It is my goal to grow so that I can turn our experience in to being a better partner. I never want to live my life in a way that isn't capable of giving when I really, really want to, ever again. You are an amazing woman. I want you to be my partner. I hope you can forgive me. I am available to hear any feedback from you and what you think and feel about everything. I see that life ebbs and flows, and that we go through good times and bad times especially in the long term. We don't have to repeat the same mistakes and we can be better at communicating if in the future we ever go through harder times. I don't think that this has to be our ending. I see that there is a solution and I want to treat you how I feel about you, as my partner. I want a life with you. I want to develop the skills and honesty that an intimate foundation with you requires. I want to be of service in life, to live with stability and goodness, and I want to learn how to not be afraid to be open with you. I understand if you are not in a place to give that chance. I also understand that my reaction to my own suffering caused you to suffer and that suffering severed our trust. Trust takes time to build back. I am available with compassion and patience to earn your trust and growth, if you'll have me. I do love you. If you have already moved on than I am happy for you. You deserve to be happy because you are capable of love and goodness. As much as I want to, I can not rewrite our history and take back the way I acted in the last three months ending our relationship, but I can look honestly at my part in it's ending, learn from it and be a better man, so that I am also capable of returning the love and kindness you so graciously bestowed upon me.

[blukate]

J,

 

I miss you..I still love you but I have to let you go.. its painful.. but its more painful to push myself to someone who doesnt feel the same for me, I know because I tried... It will never be the same without you but I know I'll survive...

Thank you and goodbye.

[El3216]

I know that a relationship takes 2

 

We struggled for so long and I know it was hard. I'm so sorry I didn't know what to do to make myself happy. Or I didn't get myself to do it. I've been working so hard to better myself everyday. I tell myself it's not to get you back because if I did that my progress would stop as soon as I realized that you really weren't coming back.

 

I know that relationships end for good some times and people move on. I just hope that this is not the case.

 

We have broken up a few times buy every time we didn't really give each other space. I feel like this will be the first real breakup. I try not to think about what your feelings towards me are but I hope you think about me and want me to be with you again some day.

 

I love you so much and I want to share my life with you. You are special and I can't fathom nt having you in my life.

[PetiteGirl]

Dear J,

 

You dumped me and now you're acting like a jerk to me. I've tried to be the bigger person and make amends and peace, but you continued to be self-centered and inconsiderate. Not to mention you've been emotionally abusive and manipulative towards me.

 

And really, so you had a bad past and therefore it gives you the entitlement to mistreat me huh? The truth is you're a wuss. You should grow a pair and stop being a cry baby. Detaching yourself to everything in life is not strength, it's a giant big neon sign of insecurity and immaturity. Choosing to stunt your own emotional growth is extremely sad and pathetic. Life as empty as yours don't deserve to exist especially when there are million other lives that had it worse than yours. I care about you, but you bullying me just makes me want to tell you to go to hell. So go to hell, loser.

 

P.S. your friends suck. They're bunch of messed-ups like you, especially that fat one. I never liked her because she's creepy and very careless and disrespectful with other people's stuff. I guess you are what you attract.

[Mike80]

Dear Jas,

 

you're 1000 miles away, literally and figuratively. After these few months of separation, and much reflection during that timeframe, I'm slowly beginning to pick apart the years we spent together, and I'm coming to the conclusion (and realization) that our relationship was doomed from the start. You know exactly why, too. Three's company, yet I kept hoping like a fool that you would see how much I loved and wanted you to be mine....but, true to form, you just had to have your cake and eat it too.

 

You gave me all your love....but only half the time.

 

it was right around the point we were "together" for 4 or 5 months that I began to lose that devoted, loving feeling. And again, you know why. Yet I continued to cling to our "relationship", in hopes that it could be mended and you would see things my way. You eventually did, but by then, it was much too late, and my original feelings for you had diminished a good 50%. Part of it was because of the way you were, the other part was because of everything else going on in my life. I remember when you originally left me in April of 2011; I begged, pleaded, cried, all but sold my soul to the devil in an attempt to get you to change your mind; yet you were cold as ice. Frozen as the antarctic. It was that day that I felt my heart sink into my stomach and break in half. Things were never the same after this, but I never told you, because I felt we could get back "together"....and we did. But it was never the same after that. I deluded myself...much as you deluded yourself later on towards the end of our relationship.

 

god we were such a dysfunctional couple. You were living a double life! And I allowed it to happen! I participated in it out of stupid, blind, dumb love. What the hell was I thinking?? That's not who I am! I'm a guy who's into monogamy and honesty. I can't believe I let myself get dragged into a relationship built on late night trysts, deceit, and duplicity. I have learned my lesson and never, EVER will I do something like that ever again.

 

so whatever. You're gone, we're a wrap, and there's no way we could ever be a couple again. Separated not just by distance but by dead feelings. Even after all this, I can still remember the good things about you, and I hope you can do the same with me. It wasn't all bad. I saw things I would have never seen without you....been places I would have never gone to....done things I never would have done. And for the first 6 months of our "relationship", you showed me love that I hadn't felt since I was a teenager. Feelings I thought I would never feel again, you brought them back. Even if it wasn't meant to last....I thank you for that. Good bye my blanquita. Se acabo.

 

-Mike

[amr2006]

babe,

 

i love you. i miss you more than anything in the whole world. its so hard trying to face the world by yourself when your only half a person, with the other half snatched back by you. good luck in life and with everything you do. there is nothing holding you back now. letting you go was painful, but if it means giving you a better advantage towards your life, then so be it. i can't hold you down and see you in so much pain. i love and care about you so deeply, and even now with you gone my reason to live is still because of you. Babe, i know you don't love me anymore but im sure as hell still in love with you. you will always be my girl.

 

I Love You,

me.

[Guddi]

Dear Khajoor,

 

WHat happened between us--God know's who is to blame, but now that we both have moved on, or it seems so--I would like for us to forgo our bitterness.

I have hated you and have forgiven you--For the sake of our child and your new family, I want us to remain cordial.

Our child longs for us to behave like all normal parents--I am trying, Can you try too?

You may have been a LOUSY husband( as per me) but i know you can be a good friend.

So lets be so.

That's a secret prayer

In god's name...AMEN

[Starseed98]

Dear $@&?&

 

Thank you for being so morally compromised.

 

Without which I would have never gotten the urge to ditch you.

 

Without much love,

 

Star

[prettycutie]

Dear %$#*,

 

I'm so glad during our past times when we used to hang out as we did when dating meant so much to you.

 

I'm so glad you were able to man up and tell me exactly why you just dumped me and left me in the dark without a word.

 

I'm so glad knowing each other for 8 years meant so much to you.

 

Hope you have a great life.

 

 

Rachael

[UnluckyLove]

Dear apc,

 

You hurt me on a level I thought I'd never have to experience again. Three weeks later and I feel worse every day. You really did make me happy. I just can't believe you used me as a rebound for your own selfish reasons. I can't believe you cheated on me and lied constantly. I would have never thought you to be the type to do that. You really ruined my outlook on having a girlfriend. I didn't date you because I was bored and wanted to pass the time. I dated you because I wanted to build a life with you and grow with you. I was nothing but kind to you. I hate that I have to see you every day at work.

 

I really wish our relationship turned out to be an amazing one and you got rid of all your back burners to focus on just us. I guess you're too weak and immature to rise to the challenge.

 

Just remember, in order to get your prince you have to kiss a frog, not f**k the whole pond.

 

Sad and depressed,

E

[LoLo22]

Dear Ryan,

 

Even though you destroyed me both mentally and emotionally,

I still wish you no ill will

because out of the 8 men before you,

I was the happiest with you,

I felt the sexiest with you

and I felt the most beautiful with you.

Although I no longer want you

I still have love for you,

My first love, my first heartbreak

[UnluckyLove]

Dear apc,

 

I knew I loved you when I started making excuses for the ways you hurt me. It doesn't matter that you hurt me anymore, or broke me down to nothing. What matters is who's going to make me smile again. Me.

 

E

[LoLo22]

Dear apc,

 

I knew I loved you when I started making excuses for the ways you hurt me. It doesn't matter that you hurt me anymore, or broke me down to nothing. What matters is who's going to make me smile again. Me.

 

E

 

I love this, it made me smile

[mg22]

Don't call me anymore! take care of your GF and if you want to cheat on her find another !! If you ever want to call me again its because you want to be with only me , so I guess that will never happen because you are a cheater and liar and love to play games ! so that being get the F*** out of my life and leave me alone !

[engraved2008]

SK-

I hate how I can hear your footsteps coming down the hall and before I even see you my heart is racing and I'm feeling flush.

 

I hate that you walk into a room and all of the anger and upset seems to disapate and we so easily fall back into that comfortable way of just being "us".

 

I hate that you still want to take care of me even after I've told you a billion times to stop, that it's no longer your place since you left and decided to be with someone else.

 

I hate that you say you care so much but you want to be with someone else.

 

I hate that I still cry myself to sleep some nights over you.

 

But most of all, I hate that I still love you and still want to be with you.

 

T-

 

beautiful...

[jennylove]

Ok, so I just received your email with the attached picture of you in the hospital. You're coloring looks good, I do not see any blood or bones sticking out, your face looks relaxed and it looks like your blood pressure is good. Why did you send this to me? What do you want from me?

[engraved2008]

Don't call me anymore! take care of your GF and if you want to cheat on her find another !! If you ever want to call me again its because you want to be with only me , so I guess that will never happen because you are a cheater and liar and love to play games ! so that being get the F*** out of my life and leave me alone !

 

Hey J....

 

Its sorta weird... i know i shouldn't even be thinking about you.. And truth is.. i don't all that much anymore....

 

I was driving home tonight... and sorta just sat in my car when i parked. I really think we had something special... Normally.. (weeks ago...) i would have gotten emotionally upset or sad at those thoughts....

 

But for some reason tonight, i didn't. I think we shared some great times. But its over now... and i love you (and myself) enough to let the thought of "us" go.... And, as a song i like says, "you'll think of me...". I don't hold anything against you.. even though i DON"T like the actions you took post breakup.

 

I wanted to spend my life with you. I truly did love you. It didn't work out... and it hurts sometimes....

 

And truth is... that ok! I will always have that "soft spot" for you.. but after tonight... i really do feel "ok" about the situation. I love you and wish you the best on your path through life. I kno i have learned MUCH through you and i being together and breaking up.... And thats good!

 

There is some type of solice in knowing that i wasn't the one to end "us". I will never have to look back and say "what if i hadn't dumped her..." or "what if i had tried a little harder". You may or not have those thoughts run accross your mind.... but i kno you, and something tells me you already have...

 

 

Take care "J"... you'll be missed. And kno that i will never speak badly of our relationship. You were a GREAT person... and i'm sure whoever you end up with... you'll make them just as happy as you made me during our time together.

 

Wish you the best babe....

 

 

Insidious1

 

Dear D~

 

Had a rough weekend. But I will not always have rough weekends.

Have a told you lately that you are the most selfish person I know? Oh, no

I haven't. why? because I haven't spoken to you in 28 days and if the Lord

will help me, I won't talk to you for many many more. You have no right to hurt people the way you do. And you have no right to just breeze through life and not be responsible for any of your actions. I hope that oneday I can

think of you, and FEEL NOTHING. I had an okay holiday...thanks.

 

a good one...

[heaven2]

Dear you piece of $hit,

 

 

 

How I loved you. How I felt magic when I was with you. I was drawn to you as if I have known you for eternity.

You used me....you lied to me....you cheated on me.

You obviously never loved me

To be honest, I do miss you sometimes......

 

But really f### off

 

I believe now that I was in love with ur lies and not you.

[cbh1979]

Hi ****,

 

I hope you're doing well. Though we'd only dated a short while, I had started to fall for you, so it was really rough on me to hear that you saw no long-term potential. It came out of left field, as we had such a good time during our last date, where afterwards you suggested doing it again and possible days we could get together. I was starting to feel really comfortable, that this could be something that would last. I had started planning our next date, in fact, and surprise you with a dinner of your favorite indian dishes; it was quite a shock to learn that, while I was planning that, you were on a completely different page and thinking of how to end it.

 

I still think about you and wonder how things are. I miss talking to you, miss hanging out, miss laughing with you. I wish I didn't, and usually I wouldn't...it was still early, after all, and typically it takes me a while to connect with someone. But, it was different this time...you were different. I wish you had felt the same.

 

Take care.

[UnluckyLove]

Dear apc,

 

I see you every day at work and it is hurting me every day. I honestly miss talking to you. I honestly miss being with you. You look right through me now like I don't exist, but the crazy part is you're the one that's hollow. I gave you my whole heart and got nothing in return. Maybe you aren't capable of my love, but my God, it must have felt so good.

 

E

[heaven2]

Hi d$ck

 

 

 

You lied....you cheated....you used me

You are the cruelest person I know and a coward. I hope karma gets you everyday